Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[psychedelicate]

Alright, now Fuyuhiko is dead. RIP boi, you had a good run.

[PowerStroke6001]

Cell killed himself for being a hot mess while Toriel mourned Don Karnage's grave. Wonder what Twi and her bandmate Marianne are talking about...?

[Kafkaesque]

Keep going. It'll all be over soon.

NIGHT SIX

• As of right now, Tamama is winning this bet, with one kill to Aizawa's none! But everything can change in the blink of an eye in the HGS...
  
• Tragedy! Alack and alas! How is Pico supposed to spit bars with his lungs compromised?
  
• You get a knife, and you get a knife, and you get a knife! Demi has enough knives for all the Delta Warriors! (So in other words, she has three knives.)
  
• How does Toriel know what Android and Apple are? Search me, but she has strong opinions on them! Her rival in this argument does not, for it cannot talk at all! An easy argument to win, at least!
  
• Yoshi makes a new friend! Is he perhaps unaware that tax fraud would be the very least of Cecil's crimes?
  
• What's with all the five-on-one kills lately? It's no fun knowing the side with the numbers advantage is likely to win! These games are at their best when it's a one on one show of skill!
  
• I shall go out on a limb here and assume nothing Amanda builds would incorporate stairs?
  
• Skid and Pump are subjected to a multi-hour lore dump! They don't understand a word, the poor dears, but they do praise Vanessa for her "super realistic fox costume"! They're sure it'll be a hit come the Spooky Month!
  
• Play Genshin Impact.
  

---

DAY SEVEN

• Toriel chooses to FLEE! But Aizawa is having none of it, and he pursues Goat Mom and reduces her to mere dust on the breeze!
  
• Being a polar bear has its advantages! All Ice Bear needs is a fishing rod, and he's keeping to his species' ideal diet!
  
• My, my, my, what vast quantities of sugar! I can feel my teeth rotting just from looking at it!
  
• Home is where the pain, death, and boiling lava is.
  
• To absolutely nobody's surprise, the hippie has a thing for flowers! Perhaps he'll make crowns from them?
  
• No need to worry, it's just a bush with a submachine gun.
  
• My, my! Quite the role reversal here, as Vanessa commits a dastardly crime with Cecil as the victim!
  
• And now Twilight is inspired to take up petty theft as well! Not exactly in line with Princess Celestia's lessons, is it now?
  
• Animanda! So shocking, an inanimate object is left aghast at the sight!
  
• Bumper cars bore me. What's the point of vehicular conflict where nobody gets hurt?
  

It's not over 'til it's over. Which, for these tributes, it is.

[PowerStroke6001]

RIP Goat Mom, while it seems that that discussion about the band's next gig didn't go well.

[Kafkaesque]

Seven. Lucky for these tributes, because they've lived past it.

NIGHT SEVEN

• Realising he's behind on his earlier bet with Tamama, Aizawa sets about racking up the kills! Ice Bear has been left as cold as, well, ice!
  
• Once again, you have natural fire weaponry, you godforsaken idiot. But it seems Crocomire's failure has inspired Neptune to try putting together some flaming weapons of her own!
  
• Noi's music is more like Noi-se! Oh, come on, that one was good. You fuckers are just unpleasable. Anyway! It seems even Vanessa can't tolerate this sonic assault, because Noi is abruptly burned to a crisp in the midst of a vocal run to make Florence Foster Jenkins proud!
  
• Our next performers aren't slain on the spot, so I assume they're better! Though, their numbers seem quite unbalanced...
  
• Ah, whoops! Not the first time we've experienced a severe glitch, won't be the last. And with one last highly distinctive scream, Skid and Pump depart this reality!
  
• Did you know Pico canonically suffers from paranoid schizophrenia? It would certainly explain why he feels the need to barter with an inanimate object for his life!
  
• Twilight Sparkle! Enormously intelligent, a gifted sorcerer, literal royalty, quite possibly a demi-goddess depending on your view! As of right now, reduced to mopping floors by someone whose only power of note is the ability to put hairstylists out of business! HUMILIATION!
  
• Last but not least, I hear they're establishing a Genshin Impact theme park! In keeping with the spirit of the source material, you pay exorbitant fees to maybe get a ticket to the ride you want, alongside plenty of tickets to rides you don't!
  

---

DAY EIGHT

• And Tamama is ahead of Aizawa again! Pico is dead, slain by the discovery of a force more fire than his bars!
  
• Speaking from experience, genie-granted royalty ain't worth shit.
  
• Afraid of gacha characters, Twilight, are you? How... Actually, nah, that joke's getting rote.
  
• The other tributes love Kennifer almost as much as Kennifer loves alcohol! Isn't that heartwarming?
  
• Ah, yes, the dimension-hopping closet slash gym strikes again! You know, this is reminding me, we need more traps for the next season. Variety is the spice of life, as they say.
  
• I could honestly buy "Sharona" as the name of a Metroid planet! Take notes, Nintendo!
  

Life is a stage, and death its final performance.

[PowerStroke6001]

MOP MOP MOP MOP MOP MOP

[ThatIdiotMan]

Damn!, Aizawa breaking his hero code like it's nothing.

[Kafkaesque]

The end approaches. But first, a nice meal.

NIGHT EIGHT

• Stretching yourself a bit thin, aren't you, Tamama? Or do you simply intend to flex your two kills on a poor tribute who has none? Tut, tut! Pride comes before a fall! Off a cliff, usually! Or into a spike trap!
  
• Childe becomes paranoid, and is convinced Vanessa will become a ruthless killer now she's tasted blood once! But his warnings fall on deaf ears! Or rather, on nonexistent ears!
  
• 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿
  
• Stop what, exactly? Is this warning Aizawa that continuing his competition with Tamama cannot end well? Or is Cecil's warning of a more cryptic, ominous nature? It could be either...
  
• The glorious return of contemplative Nightmare! Heh... Nightmare. I am incapable of making anything but the most obvious jokes, you see.
  
• Amanda has moved on from How Not To Fall Down Stairs to How Not To Be Indoctrinated Into A Cult! I wonder if its advice will be of any use to her?
  
• A taste of the fires of hell for you!
  
• Zzzzzzzzzz...
  

---

Just kidding! Why would I sleep, when it would mean I'd miss the most brutal, exciting event in any given season? Yes, here it is, for the first time in the Trouble Cube Hunger Games Simulator - THE FEAST!

• Team Redheads (and Neptune) unite to survive the Feast!
  
• Cecil joins the ranks of the undead! Does this mean that incredible mind of his will go to waste?
  
• Amanda's tendency to put her feet in unfortunate places catches up with her at long last! There's bits of her scattered across five dimensions now!
  
• Tamama sets aside his two separate bets to work together with Nightmare!
  
• Twilight shares the magic of friendship with Crocomire! Friendship, as it turns out, is shaped like a large magic missile aimed straight at its head!
  
• Tut tut, Aizawa. Don't you have a bet to win? Quit destroying memoirs and start destroying tributes!
  
• Everyone else is boring.
  

---

DAY NINE

• Nine humans combined still cannot match Twilight in a battle of wits! Truly, she is the most intelligent horse in all the realms! (Disclaimer: I can confirm from experience that this isn't saying much. Horses are dumbasses.)
  
• Mr. Van Driessen discovers a most peculiar creature! He swears he saw it once before, back in the days when he was regularly "opening his mind", so to speak!
  
• Another ferret created, this time out of a tribute whose overall fluffiness doesn't change! And the obligatory weak protest involving parents, as well!
  
• Aizawa looks about ready to start catching up with Tamama... but what's this? Heavens! It seems undeath has given Cecil a moral compass he never had before! Ironic! And also lethal for Aizawa!
  
• THE most fitting Bloody Mary candidate in the whole season, I'd say! Don't get any ideas, you degenerates.
  
• And that's the bet wrapped up! With two kills each, Aizawa and Tamama end up tied! How anticlimactic. By the way, don't even ask me how the fuck an ocarina strangling someone works.
  
• This is a mechanic in Genshin Impact, yes? Building your own house? Fitting, then!
  

A moment of silence for our last fallen before the end.

[PowerStroke6001]

Pretty sure Twi fought a monster like Crocomire back in her world.

[Cassie]

ocarina

pls die lol

[Kennifer]

Welp, F for me.

[Kafkaesque]

It's the end of the Games as we know them, and I feel fine.

NIGHT NINE

• Feeling good about their prospects, a large group join together to sing mass a cappella!
  
• What's this? Yoshi has been accused of a truly heinous crime! Apparently he has offshore assets held in the Koopa Kingdom as part of his infinitely complex tax fraud schemes! Treason! Blasphemy! But it's making Bowser money, so I doubt he'll complain any time soon!
  
• The latest Bloody Mary has summoned a Bloody Mary of her own! I supposed you could call this a Bloody Mary-cep... Actually, no, that meme's more ancient than this relic of a studio. Seriously, you can invest ridiculous amounts in licensing yet you have nothing to spare on my work quarters?
  
• More tributes out themselves as having terrible taste.
  
• Hm? Whatever was that? It almost sounded like a distant cry for help, filtered through the airy tones of an ocarina! But I can't pinpoint where exactly it came from...
  

---

DAY TEN

• Hearing of a legendary ocarina lost to the mists of time, the Achievement Hunter Cast... wait... achievement who now? There's no tribute named "Achievement Hunter Cast" in this season! Certainly is an ocarina, though...
  
• Mr. Van Driessen's greatest secret is revealed - he's a brony! I mean, the show is brightly coloured and teaches the power of peace, love and friendship; I can see how it appeals.
  
• But... he's already anime. How does this work? Perhaps he has created a version of himself too anime for this reality to handle? In that case, I'd imagine they should be reacting with worse than disappointment!
  
• If there's one thing Doom has taught us, it's that demons and zombies are natural allies!
  
• With all the times he's helped fight Bowser, you'd think Yoshi would be decent at dodging flaming projectiles... but apparently not! Burn, baby, burn! Dino inferno!
  

---

Nine remain.

---

NIGHT TEN

• Have I mentioned how much I hate Lil Pump? Because every time I see this event, I'm tempted to reiterate myself yet again. And I'm sure you want to hear that even less than I want to hear "Gucci Gang" one more goddamn time.
  
• Demi is trapped in an infinite loop, doomed by her own poor grasp of Pokemon moves! Her purple bandmate from the beginning of the season takes pity on her, and frees her from the cycle with a quick, lethal magical blast.
  
• Leave it to the Childe to throw a temper tantrum, eh? Yes, I know, I used that joke again. I only have so much material to work with when it comes to Genshin.
  
• Hm. I would disagree on Vanessa being weak - unless it is her weakness of will we're talking about here?
  

---

DAY ELEVEN

• Oh! Well! That buff appears to have done absolutely nothing for Vanessa! If anything, tripping over an ocarina and breaking your neck is a deeply embarrassing way to go for one who has supposedly had her powers enhanced!
  
• This again? Don't you think it's a bit late?
  
• Nightmare cannot speak, so... I suppose Neptune has learned how to swear in a language that does not exist? How fascinating!
  
• Somehow, all of Twilight's magic is no match for a garish shirt and the reek of burning cannabis! But Mr. Van Driessen gives peace a chance and leaves the princess of Equestria alive! The magic of friendship?
  

---

Seven remain.

---

NIGHT ELEVEN

• Late in the game as it may have been, Cecil seems determined to follow up on that bet as he finally claims a kill! And also demonstrates that he's somehow found a melee weapon capable of piercing Nightmare's armour!
  
• You hallucinate some strange things when you're opening your mind! For instance, you may perceive an ocarina as having a head, and believe it can survive having that head removed!
  
• Neptuneland? Would that not just be a SEGA theme park?
  
• Childe's vision is blurring. Could this perhaps be a sign of something...?
  
• Oh, good, you figured out how to do that.
  

---

DAY TWELVE

• Oh, so that's what Childe was suffering from earlier - impending death from blood loss! Rejoice, for you will never hear me make another terrible pun on his name!
  
• Well, oh me oh my! It seems the ocarina was sentient and evil this entire time! Which... explains a lot, to be honest. Anyway! Its depredations serve to prove that zombification has made Cecil a far better person, as he gives his own life to spare others!
  
• Not exactly the most sensible experiment of Twilight's career. And, wait - aren't alicorns already immune to the ravages of time? This was poorly thought out on every conceivable level.
  

---

Three remain.

---

NIGHT TWELVE

• Revealing its true nature may have been a mistake on the Ocarina's part, for it's given Neptune an excuse to take action! Wielding a vast sickle, she slashes and slices until it has been reduced to elegantly painted wood chippings!
  
• Meanwhile, Mr. Van Driessen has found the Genie of Granting Exactly One Wish, Which Is To Become A Monarch! I doubt he'll have long to appreciate his position of power, though...
  

---

DAY THIRTEEN

• ...and that's that! With one quick manoeuvre, Mr. Van Driessen's monarchy is abolished, and Neptune is the first winner of the Trouble Cube Hunger Games Simulator!
  

---

So near, yet so far...

---

The winner, in case you didn't catch it the first time.

---

FIRST PLACE: Neptune, nominated by Zanreo!
SECOND PLACE:: Mr. David Van Driessen, nominated by ThatIdiotMan!
THIRD PLACE:: Ocarina, nominated by SomeLibre!
MASS MURDERERS: Ocarina, nominated by SomeLibre; and Achievement Hunter Cast, nominated by HypeKitty1!

---

THE PLACEMENTS

DEATH SUMMARY

THE STATISTICS

---

And with that, our first season is over! I will admit, there have been some... hiccups, but I'd say this has overall been a roaring success! May this be the beginning of a long and successful series! Until then, my job here is done... farewell...

The lights dim, until all that can be seen are the green pinpricks of Erdös's mask eyes in the darkness. Even those soon cut out, and the screen is black and silent. Roll credits.

Alright, I've done some fairly serious tributes. Now to MeeM

• Bulk Bogan (male, safe)
  
• Waluigi (male, safe)

[EeveeGirlChey]

Joel Robinson and Mike Nelson. Both male and safe.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

* Jimmy "Shoehorn" Scott (male, safe)
* Seedy Joe Bourbon (male, elderly)

[wingedcatgirl]

Team "Random Cats We Found On Wikimedia Commons": A Random Black Cat and A Random Calico Cat (both it/its and non-sapient animals)

[Kennifer]

IT IS YEET TIME.

Tonya (female, safe)

Holly (female, safe)

Will Tonya follow in the rather disturbing footsteps of her TVT HGS counterpart or remain sweet like her Murderverse counterpart? Will Holly get so done with your shit she finally snaps? Stay tuned!

[HypeKitty1]

Monika (Female Light Green) (https://media.discordapp.net/attachments...lview.jpeg)
Lana (Female Safe) (https://media.discordapp.net/attachments...mages.jpeg

[Guma]

1. Katy Kat (she/her, most likely yellow)
2. Hendrik (he/him, safe)

[MemeGuy]

Mr. Bones (DC) and Ulik.

[Zanreo]

Hell yeah, Neptune is the first winner!

For my next tribs:

Google Translate and Shin Amon

[ThatIdiotMan]

Nice, 2nd Place!
Vargfren (nickname Fren)
Glue Man

[Dookie]

Tributes:

* Helena

* Snap

[Cassie]

Triple Inverted Steve From Accounting (Male, safe)

Triple Inverted Dairy Queen (use it/its here)

[Billy5545]

SpongeBob SquarePants (Safe, as he's an adult. Also, he's from the titular show) and Amiya (Yellow, as the game basically states that she's a young teenager, despite her exact age being unknown. Also, she's from Arknights)

Edit: Also forgot to say it, but I can host this season. It'll be good to also find a backup host though, so it won't take forever to finish

[KungFuCutbug]

fuck it, why not

• Selene (female, yellow flag because I headcanon her to be ~14 since there is no way in hell a 10 year old would be able to do a lot of the more spoilery shit in Pokemon SuMo and Pokemon Ultra SuMo)
  
• Metabomb (they/them, also yellow flag because
  mentally they are approximately 16 years oldI guess an argument could be made for them being either a black flag due to being less than a year old or a special case due to being an AI, but... for simplicity's sake
  )