Life's a Beach 2

[Dookie]

Steve facepalms at Dawn.

"<Non-Fungible Tokens>! They give you <Genuine Access> to a <Cool Internet Goodie> FOREVER! It's based on the blockchain, which is <Totally Not Causing Our Oceans to Rise??>! Would you like a free sample for just <$100,000?>"

She laughs.

“ I live in a cave, you think I have that much money? That's stupid! You're stupid!”

[PointMaid]

Huh? ...Fine.

Snakeweed's signature is rather rounded and calligraphic.

Her eyes follow GWC as he leaves, scowling. ...Cubans and Colombians my furry feet. Whoever they are they can't compare with Shire pipeweed.

[PointMaid]

Oh, and I'll take... eh, I guess I'll take cabin two.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

GWC manages to make his way to the cave where he sees Dawn, and the others like Yuffie and Steve talk to her.

So I see you've all met the biggest piece of trash on the island...

[Dookie]

GWC manages to make his way to the cave where he sees Dawn, and the others like Yuffie and Steve talk to her.

So I see you've all met the biggest piece of trash on the island...

“Yes, Washington. You've already introduced yourself to them. No need to do it again.”

[Caret]

Steve points at Dawn and sneers at her rather menacingly.

"We got a bad kid! <Need money??> Then <Get a Job>, kiddo! <Nickelodeon> strives to give kids jobs!

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Hilarious, GWC says sarcastically. With jokes like that, I bet you could headline a sitcom. One that would be torn apart by critics in addition to having to look at your ugly face. So you've met Dawn.... one of the people here who decided to come around and ruin my resort.

[Risdio51]

"I agree with you on NFTs, Kisaragi. Such a waste of the planet's Mako."

[Dookie]

Hilarious, GWC says sarcastically. With jokes like that, I bet you could headline a sitcom. One that would be torn apart by critics in addition to having to look at your ugly face. So you've met Dawn.... one of the people here who decided to come around and ruin my resort.

“You say that like you came before me. Us islanders were first, you had to start trouble. It's not my fault you've brought these people into this. It's not my fault you chose here to stay, even after the past events.”

She crosses her hands.

[Huney]

"Of all the people in the world," Yuffie looks to Sephiroth,"I don't need YOUR cooperation."

She then turns to George. "WHO'S the ugly one, Cappy?!"

[Kennifer]

After enjoying her scuba diving venture Julia heads back, originally intent on returning the equipment to the surfer dude before she hears the commotion and goes to find out what's going on.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

This piece of work is called Dawn, apparently she's been living on the island for sometime. She's just ignorant to the fact that I'm trying to bring a little bit of civilization to the island, give it all some life. Because this is something human beings have done since they've first existed. I tried to send her off, but she insists on battling me every step of the way. And I am about to deal with her permanently. And actually, this is the business I wanted to discuss. Part of it involves her.

[Huney]

"SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE SHINRA DO- business?"

Yuffie rapidly shuts up.

"What business?"

[PointMaid]

Snakeweed is just standing back listening to this, trying to avoid notice.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Come along then, to my mansion. I'll gather everyone then we can talk.

GWC manages to gather all 14 vacationers into his mansion and brings them all over. What they all see inside is a sickening display of his wealth. $100 bills used as wallpaper. Everything, from the furniture, the decorations, the entertainment, everything is lavishing, as if literally everything here has cost a pretty penny. And within the living room, where the vacationers are all has boxing memorabilia, with photographs of him and boxers he lead to championship success, something that has earned him huge paydays. He seats them all and gives everyone glasses of wine. He takes a sip of it himself.

Pretty good, isn't it? 125 year old wine from the great city of Paris. Cost me $80'000 per bottle, but the price sure is worth it.

He puts his glass down.

Anyway... what I bought you all to my mansion, which I otherwise expect you all to keep out of by the way, is that as I invited you all here and you were all on your way, Dawn decided to have her own islanders terrorize my resort. To scare off everyone here. I don't need my business ruined by some freak of nature, thank you very much. And on top of that, three of you here are her islanders. And they're all bloodthirsty savages that want to kill me and everybody that comes to this island. But that's not all. There are other people here to kill as well...

[Kennifer]

Julia frowns. She seems unimpressed by this show of wealth, for one. She had nothing against wealthy people, of course; there were plenty of rich tourists who showed up in Hawaii and they were, if nothing else, good for the economy. But this, she thought, was just being ostentatious. This guy wanted to rub his wealth in everyone's faces rather than do anything beneficial with it. However, he was their host, so she was going to keep this to herself.

She snapped out of this train of thought upon the mention of killing, though. Good LORD, what sort of messed up "vacation" was this?

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

"So what? Are we your bodyguards?"

[Huney]

Yuffie takes a sip of wine

Before immediately spitting it out. "B-Bitter..."

She... pauses though. Killing? Just what the heck is this guy talking about?! "Just what the heck are you talking about?! Who's coming to kill us?! Why did you even bring us here?!"

[Caret]

Steve groans. He was already drafted into a similar killing game once, and he does not want to deal with dying again. Not after being shot by that accountant.

"Oh no! Kids, we don't want to die! How about we play some <Blue's Clues> and find out the <Identity> of those <Unpog Traitors: The Fall of Heeko Amekawa>? Or <You need the full version of 9038048449429 to view this page.>"

[Florien]

Desenari drains her entire wineglass in one swig while listening.

I think you've been overcharged. This tastes terrible. I've had four Uvigelt wine that's at least twice as good as this plonk. Anyway, assassins everywhere aside, this is very routine. What's your point? Are we supposed to fix your problems for you? Why should I bother to fix your problems? Are you paying me? Why didn't you hire adventurers to protect you? Are you afraid they'll kill you too? Is this a real threat or are you just paranoid?

She rattles off the questions rapidly, barely pausing for breath between sentences.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Bodyguards? I can handle myself, thank you very much. I'd worry about your own skins if I were you, because these people will kill you all. And not only that, I've had two other people sent out here to kill me. Pathetic worms who are jealous of my wealth and can't even handle it, he says the last part as if his massive jerkassery had nothing to do with it. And they will kill you all too because they're not planning to leave witnesses alive. And the same goes for Dawn and her people. They will not be spared. So you'll have to figure them all, who's trying to kill you all if you want to make it out alive.

He sneers at Yuffie.

You won the contest and decided to come down here on your own. I didn't force any of you to came here and it's not my fault the island has killers.

So that is what we have to deal with. Five people, all from two different parties who want to kill us all. I didn't plan it this way, I can assure you. All I wanted to do was run this promotion to bring in more people to this resort, but then all this happens.

Bodyguards? I can handle myself, thank you very much. I'd worry about your own skins if I were you, because these people will kill you all. And not only that, I've had two other people sent out here to kill me. Pathetic worms who are jealous of my wealth and can't even handle it, he says the last part as if his massive jerkassery had nothing to do with it. And they will kill you all too because they're not planning to leave witnesses alive. And the same goes for Dawn and her people. They will not be spared. So you'll have to figure them all, who's trying to kill you all if you want to make it out alive.

He sneers at Yuffie.

You won the contest and decided to come down here on your own. I didn't force any of you to come here and it's not my fault the island has killers.

He gives glares to Yuffie and Desenari over dissing his wine.

You people wouldn't know fine taste if it slapped you upside your faces!

[Huney]

"Snooty jerk... FINE! I'm YUFFIE KISARAGI, darn it! Just tell me where these killers are hiding and I'll beat them senseless! Teach them to screw with me..."

[Florien]

Desenari pauses briefly at the revelation that she's potentially on someone's kill list.

...Okay, plan. HEY EVERYONE WHO MIGHT BE OUT TO KILL ME! LISTEN UP! I have no intention of provoking an international incident, and killing me would provoke one. Also, if I'm allowed to come to power, I'll institute scientifically backed policies to help end wage labor, and probably also institute a Universal Basic Income, while working to fight back on my Grandmother's disastrous and generally racist policies! So assassinating me would not be in the best interests of the several million people I will hopefully come to represent and lead! You would not condemn millions to a potential life under a dangerous government trying to return the world to monarchy, right?

She speaks loudly and clearly. She's clearly been trained in speech-making, if not necessarily writing.

Oh also, if you do kill anyone I'll find you and have you hung.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

He gets right in Yuffie's face.

If I knew who they were, don't you think I'd take care of them right about now? But you figure out who they are and I'll take them out myself. And both will more than likely kill every day, so I suggest you not screw up because it's all of our lives at stake! Are we clear?

He promptly blows his cigar smoke in Yuffie's face.

[Huney]

Yuffie coughs and hacks, before grumbling, looking away from George in a huff.

"Stupid adults..."