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Life's a Beach 2
#26
"Thanks for the <Genuine Surfboard>! Your services are <ViacomCBS Approvaed!!>>"

Steve holds the surfboard extremely close to his face and stares blankly at it. After a long while, he lowers the surfboard, revealing that his perpetual smiling face has changed to a shocked face.

"Oops! This <California Surfboard> isn't genuine! Why do you rent out <Pirated Surfboards from the Seven Seas>??????" Steve dumps the sunblock on his surfboard and holds it over his head. "Bootleg surfboards are <1000000%> more fragile than <Offical Surfboards!!!!>"

> break the surfboard in half and throw the pieces at the surfer dude to demonstrate your (completely false) point
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#27
"... what the hell is Steve talking about."
(We're IN PA! :D But still settling in, so activity everywhere is still decreased. A bit.)
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Hallie Mathews (Your Final Frontier 4)


Character list | word-buying is on hold temporarily | read this thing I'm writing if you wanna

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#28
> break the surfboard in half and throw the pieces at the surfer dude to demonstrate your (completely false) point (Steve)

You throw the surfboard pieces at the surfer, right at his head. Ow! Not cool, dude. Better not let Mr. Columbo see you break the boards. He spent good money on 'em. Got 'em all from the Japanese or somethin'.

He bites the cookie Snakeweed gives him.

Killer cookies. Startin' to feel more than my mellow comin' back.

He hands her a surfboard before grabbing one for himself. Come on, ma'am.

He heads out there and rides a nice wave. Watch me! He rides a wave before he freaks out and falls off his board and runs back on land screaming. Dude, I thought it was water, but then it turned into lava. What's in those cookies, man?
I like bananas. They're yellow.
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#29
Steve points at the surfer dude and laughs manically.

"Those <Yakuza-supplied> surfboards were made to break!!!! How <Uncrunchtastic?! Buy the <Bored Surfer Golf Club NFT Set> to upgrade your surfboards to the next level!!!! Buy today for the low, low, price of ><10,000,000 BTC!>"
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#30
Pipeweed., Snakeweed says matter-of-factly.

...They usually take a while to have any effect. Huh. Should've warned you to go easy on it, though. My fault.
Murdergames Characters
Frankie * Dr. Ruby Ramirez * Solanacae Bakersby * Sam BlackSelen(ium) * Reina Schultz * Dr. Francine "Frankie" Frankenstein * Lotta Schadenfreude

Need a bigger bookshelf? Join me in The Library.
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#31
You may wanna talk to Mr. Columbo about that, dude. I'm sure he'd like upgraded surfboards. Always have to have the best money can buy.... bah... he says to Steve, getting irritated over thinking about GWC. The Pipeweed catches his attention, especially the weed.

Coh, weed cookies. That's even better than pot brownies. What's next, usin' cocaine as sugar and make cookies. Man, you gotta get me and the other staff members those cookies. We're all tense around the boss. Gotta relax. Just don't let the boss see those. I'm sure he wouldn't like outside food...
I like bananas. They're yellow.
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#32
"Hey, Shinra hog." Yuffie points to George.

"What is there to do around here anyway?"
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#33
Snakeweed nods. Yeah, of course! I got your back!
Murdergames Characters
Frankie * Dr. Ruby Ramirez * Solanacae Bakersby * Sam BlackSelen(ium) * Reina Schultz * Dr. Francine "Frankie" Frankenstein * Lotta Schadenfreude

Need a bigger bookshelf? Join me in The Library.
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#34
Steve chuckles some more.

"Sure will do, <Mr. Surfer Guy>! Hey kids, how about we claim out own turf? Cabin 7! 7 is <the most lucky number in the world>!!!!!! It's <Magically Delicious>!

>claim Cabin 7
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#35
GWC answers Yuffie's question. We got the surf club where everyone is. We got the pool and spa over there, and nearby is the bar and restaurant., he points in the directions on where those are. That right there is my mansion. I'll bring you all in later to discuss some things, but you stay away from it otherwise! And I recommend you stay away from the caves because pieces of trash live there. A lot trashier than the ones who've came here to have a vacation.

He notices Snakeweed and the cookies. He walks over to them and looks at them.

What is this outside food?

Bummer....
I like bananas. They're yellow.
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#36
"So DON'T go to the caves, because pieces of trash live there... gotcha!"

>go to caves
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#37
> follow Yuffie to the caves just to fuck with her
BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE
YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
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#38
>go to caves

The caves are filled with lights, torches, and campfires. As you walk towards the lights, you see someone else in a dead-end.

A large woman, with messy long orange hair, unkempt eyebrows, and yet was dressed as if they were going to a party, was waking up from a mid-day nap, when she noticed the others in the cave.

“Who's there?”
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#39
Yuffie smirks.

"To my friends, I am the incredible Ninja Princess of Wutai!" She
takes a cocky pose, hands on her hips. Before transitioning to a defiant point to the sky. "To my enemies, the daring phantom materia thief, taking from the powerful upper class and restoring order to the world!" 

Has she been... rehearsing this...?


"Indeed... both are true! But who is this proud warrior truly...?"

A final pose, pointing to the woman with a cocky grin. 

"I am... Yuffie Kisaragi! Materia hunter extraordinaire!"
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#40
(12-18-2021, 21:18:33 PM)Huney Wrote: Yuffie smirks.

"To my friends, I am the incredible Ninja Princess of Wutai!" She
takes a cocky pose, hands on her hips. Before transitioning to a defiant point to the sky. "To my enemies, the daring phantom materia thief, taking from the powerful upper class and restoring order to the world!" 

Has she been... rehearsing this...?


"Indeed... both are true! But who is this proud warrior truly...?"

A final pose, pointing to the woman with a cocky grin. 

"I am... Yuffie Kisaragi! Materia hunter extraordinaire!"

“And how the fuck did you get on this island? You one of GWC's employees? ‘Cause I haven't seen you before.”
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#41
"Wait, the guy outside? HELL no!! We're just on vacation. We won it in this definitely absolutely for sure NOT shady contest."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#42
She rolls her eyes.

“Oh, that. I hope you get off faster than you came here, honestly. I know it isn't your fault, though. That greedy GWC won't get his ass off the island, and now he's making the island all the more famous. I hope he chokes on his cigar.”

She walks out of the cave as she says this.
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#43
As soon as she steps out of her cave, Dawn finds herself accosted by Steve.

"Wanna protect your island from that <Poor, Poor, Poor Scarface Wannabe??> Buy <Environmentally Sustainable NFTs> today! And no, this isn't a <Reality Breaking Paradox>! NFTs can be environmentally sustainable!"
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#44
Yuffie immediately gets into a battle position seeing Steve.
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#45
(12-18-2021, 21:49:43 PM)Goose Wrote: As soon as she steps out of her cave, Dawn finds herself accosted by Steve.

"Wanna protect your island from that <Poor, Poor, Poor Scarface Wannabe??> Buy <Environmentally Sustainable NFTs> today! And no, this isn't a <Reality Breaking Paradox>! NFTs can be environmentally sustainable!"

”What's an NFT? Because you're a good salesman.”

Dawn hadn't seen anything beyond the island in years, so NFTs were news to her.
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#46
"NFT stands for No Friggin Thanks."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
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#47
Steve facepalms at Dawn.

"<Non-Fungible Tokens>! They give you <Genuine Access> to a <Cool Internet Goodie> FOREVER! It's based on the blockchain, which is <Totally Not Causing Our Oceans to Rise??>! Would you like a free sample for just <$100,000?>"
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#48
Snakeweed is, again, very confused at modern technology and barely understands a word Steve is saying.

She does turn on her selling face when GWC asks her about the cookies, though. Ignoring that he doesn't seem to be happy about it.

I thought you might be interested in another food vendor! It's what I do, can't come here and not try. I can supply these in bulk if you'd like! Sample?
Murdergames Characters
Frankie * Dr. Ruby Ramirez * Solanacae Bakersby * Sam BlackSelen(ium) * Reina Schultz * Dr. Francine "Frankie" Frankenstein * Lotta Schadenfreude

Need a bigger bookshelf? Join me in The Library.
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#49
GWC snatches one of Snakeweed's cookies and takes a bite of it, before quickly spitting it out all over Snakeweed's face.

You call these cookies? These taste like the ones you can buy at any common grocery store! The only ones I like are the ones you can get from the European bakers, especially the Bell Baking Company of London. They know how to make quality cookies! The ones you made aren't even fit to be used as coasters! And what is this in them? Weed? Feh, the Cubans and the Colombians are the ones I go to for my drug fix. Make the nicest cocaine and marijuana there. Feh!, he then tosses the rest of the cookie at the Hobbit's head.

Hey man, lay off the elf! Her cookies are pretty good.

You just go back to running the Surf Club otherwise I will make you my personal toilet brush. Your hair is certainly grungy enough for it.
I like bananas. They're yellow.
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#50
A vaguely demonic looking woman dressed for way colder weather than is currently being had has walked onto the scene.

So, hello everyone, I apologize for my lateness. And also for not being able to talk long even now, for that matter. I'm Desenari, you may know me, or maybe not. Either way, I claim the fourth cabin as the location where I'll be staying, and I'm going to head there now. Got to make a few calls and things, you see, and prepare some documents. I'll be there for a while, please don't bother me, I'll be back as soon as I'm able. Thanks. Could you just fill out all your names on this sheet here and once you've all done that put it at my door? I'll learn all your names, in time.

She puts a sheet of paper on a nearby table, along with a pen, before walking off to the fourth cabana/hut/cabin/cheap-building-being-sold-as-authentic-and-touristy
I am the They who says it!
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