Life's a Beach 2

[Cassie]

...where's Eren.

Was he ever here!?

Did he ever recieve the prize that leads to here!???

HELLO!??????

[TalesofUnder]

(A man dressed in flamboyant, Shakespeare-esque clothing stirs awake.)

Alas! My back has been struck with an inconsolable tempest! 

[Caret]

Steve heads right up to the Shakesphere lookalike

"Have back problems? Try <Hurricane Super NFT Pills!> Your first shipment is FREE <with $100,000,000 in shipping + handling>!"

[Huney]

"... I'm pretty sure this Steve guy has a shady plan."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I kinda like what this Steve guy does. Maybe I could have a use for him if we make out alive... GWC says quietly to himself.

[Cassie]

Steve heads right up to the Shakesphere lookalike

"Have back problems? Try <Hurricane Super NFT Pills!> Your first shipment is FREE <with $100,000,000 in shipping + handling>!"

A phone is yeeted at Steve's direction.

"Dude, no! Cringe!"

[TalesofUnder]

I haveth no information concerning thine “NFTs”. Of course, I have had no real knowledge of this period, other than that it is 120 calendars ahead of mine own, and that the so-called “Frosty” from “Wendy's” is the greatest beverage I have supped upon in my life.

[Caret]

The phone strikes Steve right in the noggin, causing him to momentary glitch out and make distorted dial-up noises.

"Hello? You reached the line of <AdChoices!> How may I help you? To make me shut up, <Press 1 to Pay Your Sum>."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Frosties from Wendy's? Why not just milk a cow's udder and freeze it before your drink it?

[Huney]

"... uh. 1."

[Kennifer]

"Ah I see, so you think that just because something's more expensive it's automatically good. Huh."

Julia says this simply without giving her own opinion on the matter, though she did wonder if this Columbo guy would pick his fancy-schmancy overpriced wine over a nice $100 bottle in a blind taste test.

[Cassie]

Frosties from Wendy's? Why not just milk a cow's udder and freeze it before your drink it?

A teen shows up from uhhhhhh, wherever the fuck he was before.

"...I dunno much about Wendy's but isn't something like those Frosties way more complicated than that?"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Well, duh! GWC says without a hint of irony. Don't you know the more expensive things require great care to make it all superior in every way. I don't know about you, but my palette has improved tremendously after eating and drinking the finer things in life. A Frosty from Wendy's is like goat vomit compared to the French ice cream maker Sauvageon. One taste of that stuff, you'll feel like you're in heaven. Hell, after eating that stuff, the thought of eating other cream will make you nauseated. I can get you some from the kitchen right now for you to taste if you're skeptical.

[Caret]

"You have selected <Option 1>. Now... PLEASE- BZZT." Steve violently shakes his head. "Pardon my rude words there. I lost my <Pressman Marbles> for a <Picosecond>! You know that more $$$ equals higher quality! Just talk to <Tim Cook, CEO of Two Trillion Dollar Company!!!>"

[Huney]

"Oh! That Tim! Yep! Know who that is!"

[Cassie]

"I WANT A TASTE!"

Eren pls

[Kennifer]

"Okay yeah, that's what I thought," Julia says kind of half under her breath. She did still wonder about that blind taste test thing though.

[wingedcatgirl]

Having listened to all this, Eri just leaves in disgust to >claim a random unclaimed room for themself.

[PointMaid]

Snakeweed comes out of the shadows.

...I'll take a taste, too

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

It's called a hyperbole! Why don't you invest in a dictionary and maybe you can learn a thing or two? he says before blowing his cigar smoke into the teen's face.

But I suppose I can give you all some of the ice cream. Never let it be said I can't be charitable.

He orders his kitchen help to get the teen and Julia some ice cream and they go in and serve them both.

Now try this and tell me that isn't heaven in your mouth.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

The staff also serves Snakeweed. And Eri gets Hut 1.

[Huney]

"This is a bunch of poopsmell... I'm goin' to my hut!"

Yuffie too goes to an unclaimed hut.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

>Pick a random unoccupied hut

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Yuffie gets Hut 3 and Henry gets Hut 6.

[PointMaid]

...It's ok, I guess.