[Roleplay - Drop-in] GET THAT PIZZA!: REBAKED

[Cassie]

Libre grabs a flag from the bus, before yanking the Pizza off of Superjohn but-

[Florien]

Flag Police!

That's a real profession now. Don't look it up.

Florian and Florien confiscate the Pizza on grounds of "that's a six flags flag and you only have one, that's a flag crime." They also destroy the six flags flag because you can't just have one sitting there, what are you, a flag-lawless savage?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Then Matthew appears with a long-ass flag pole and impales Florien and Florian with it and mounts it on the ground with the pole still through them. He hoists the American flag up the pole and salutes it as he takes the pizza.

[wingedcatgirl]

Sylvi and its squad of America-hating anarchists suddenly appear and burn the whole mess to the ground, chanting various commie phrases like "healthcare for all" and "we like unions".

While they do that, Sylvi yoinks the pizza from Matthew's charred corpse and nyooms away.

[Florien]

Wait, so healthcare for all...

But Anarchism.

And unions...

Anarcho-syndicalism is historically and sociologically unsupported as a system of government!

Somehow, by attacking the horde's beliefs directly, the Florie/ans turn the mob into a group into statist leftists instead, instead of just entrenching their beliefs harder, as would be expected. (This was effected with the promise of Pizza if they engage in state sanctioned violence against Sylvi and take the Pizza.) With the Pizza and an army in tow, the Florie/ans set out to reclaim Florien's position as the President of the United States, from so long ago, and maybe install Florian as various other governmental positions.

[Cassie]

But...Libre has already went back in time, retroactively fucking history up in a manner that permanently screws both of them out of their goals. Inadvertently, the Pizza teleports onto him as political chaos starts shitting on the world.

[josh6243]

ShinraBanshoumon steals the pizza from Libre, but ShinraBanshoumon trips over a rock, causing the pizza to fly towards ...

[Florien]

No one at all. It lands on the grass... as Florien and Florian cross the field in a 18th century ship on wheels, crushing Shinra to death in the process. One of them grabs the Pizza with a boathook, and they both set off on a wild adventure across the plains in their Frigate? Barque? Carrack?... whatever it is... on wheels.

As the pirates say, "yar."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Then right above, a plane flies over the ship and someone parachutes out of it and lands inside. It's Matthew... with a machine gun. He quickly storms in and empties all his ammo into Florien and Florian. He takes the pizza and takes over the ship and heads for somewhere up north.

[Superjohn 2.0]

Then a drone missile hits Matthews blowing it up and killing him. Superjohn appears and takes the pizza from the wreckage, then goes back to his helicopter and flies off, but someone is hiding in the back, as Roundabout by Yes starts playing.

[josh6243]

ShinraBanshoumon was the intruder all along. As she hijacks the helicopter, she accidentally crashes it into the middle of n=Nowhere, Kansas by accident. The pizza box is somehow intact.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

The pizza flies out of the helicopter crash and into the hands of Pizza Poacher Matthew. He enjoys the pizza while he goes in a time machine back to the Medieval times, hiding out in some village.

[Florien]

Only to immediately get executed by the townsfolk for being a suspicious outsider who arrived at the same time their livestock started dying. The real reason the livestock started dying, of course, was that Florien and Florian (who are there in the past for some reason) accidently dumped large quantities of saltpeter in the water during an attempt to manufacture gunpowder, killing all the sheep. The pair swoop in with gunpowder weaponry and a small mercenary army, and claim the Pizza while razing the village to the ground for no particular reason.

[Superjohn 2.0]

But then Superjohn appears, wielding a Anime Katana! And by the rules of anime(swords>guns)+ Cyborg powers lead to Superjohn slaughtering Florien and Florian's army, as well as Florien and Florian themselves. Superjohn then uses a time travel device to travel to the present, but when he does he's ambushed by...

[wingedcatgirl]

Dream, who has hijacked his time travel device! They're not in the present at all - she's taken him to The End of Time! Superjohn fades from existence, but Dream is already half-nonexistent so she resists the pull of oblivion, takes the pizza, and...

[Florien]

The clarion cry echoes forth from the mountaintops. It is heard across the dell, through the forests, over the desert. Every biome except prairie is represented as Florien and Florian, who've become eco-terrorists for some inexplicable reason, arrive on the scene! They blow up the time machine because it's coal-powered, Then they blow up the explosive manufacturing plant because it's oil-powered, then they blow up Dream (who's just been standing there for several minutes watching) because they had extra explosives and Semtex is a pain to carry around. Then, they flee with the Pizza to Russia to buy more explosives and blow up oil refineries.

[josh6243]

James Bond steals the pizza from the duo and escapes before bungee-jumping over the dam. He crashed his head, leaving the pizza behind for anyone to claim. What a klutz.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Pizza Poacher Matthew comes and takes the pizza. He then heads to the Grand Canyon to enjoy the view, when someone pushes him off the ledge to his death. But who was it

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

It was MP! As Matthew falls to his death, MP grabs The Pizza, and then activates the Improbability Drive, warping and distorting reality beyond all recognition.

Can't have shit in Nevada.

Suddenly...

[Cassie]

CLOWN WANTS PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

MP gets booted in the head with a stop sign, per Tricky the Clown, Nevada's unstoppable champion.

But then...he gets shot in the head...

[Florien]

With a nerf gun in a taunting fashion, by Co-presidents of the European Commission Florien and Florian, who have abruptly changed factions again.

Apparently, the pair dumped West CFA from the events in Togo so long ago in such a different place into the currency exchange market, crashing the west-central african currency's value. The massive devaluations lead to exports becoming much more lucrative from the regions on the West and Central CFA, which, through a complicated chain of events, ended up putting Florien and Florian in charge of a bizarre conglomerate nation/trade-bloc made up of the fourteen countries on the two currencies, and also the EU, both CFAs being pegged to the euro.

As a result, France nukes Nevada, killing the clown, while Florien and Florian flee with the Pizza in hand, with one aim in mind... To expand the eurozone to every corner of the world! Protecting the Pizza is really on the backburner because of the whole "inevitable failure of that" part.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Then Florien and Florian both get a bullet between both their eyes. Where did the shots come from? Why, it's Pizza Poacher Matthew, of course. He recognized that two tyrants were at play and he had to do what he could to stop them. He gets the pizza and on top of that, he is celebrated by the world as a hero. But then, someone comes out of nowhere and shoots him in the heart and make a quick dash for the pizza...

[josh6243]

After discarding the DD44 Dostovei, ShinraBanshoumon grabs the pizza and runs through an obstacle course. Despite her nimble tricks and skills, she somehow drops the pizza halfway through the course. Anyone could grab it now.

[Cassie]

Libre does, but-

[Florien]

He dies. Of liver failure. For no reason in particular, for sure! Meanwhile, Florien and Florian, who have systematically been spiking every single food and drink item Libre has consumed in the quest for Pizza with highly purified alcohol for days, share a high-five as they fly off with the Pizza to hide out at the Taj Mahal for some incomprehensible reason involving "hiding in crowds" somehow.