Life's a Beach 2

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

THE CAST

1. Yuffie Kisaragi (Huney)
2. S̶e̶p̶h̶i̶r̶o̶t̶h̶ (̶R̶i̶s̶d̶i̶o̶5̶1̶)̶ (EXECUTED)
3. Mario.EXE (door-kun)
4. J̶u̶l̶i̶a̶ (̶K̶e̶n̶n̶i̶f̶e̶r̶)̶ (DEAD)
5. D̶e̶s̶e̶n̶a̶r̶i̶ C̶h̶i̶l̶l̶v̶e̶i̶n̶ (̶F̶l̶o̶r̶i̶e̶n̶)̶(DEAD)
6. E̶r̶i̶ (̶w̶i̶n̶g̶e̶d̶c̶a̶t̶g̶i̶r̶l̶)̶ (EXECUTED)
7. Henry Stickmin (Despair's Archon of Memes)
8. B̶a̶n̶d̶a̶n̶a̶ W̶a̶d̶d̶l̶e̶ D̶e̶e̶ (̶O̶g̶g̶y̶1̶2̶3̶)̶ (DEAD)
9. Ernesto Pucci (MadameButterflyKnife)
10. OPEN SPOT
11. Addison/"Steve" (the Image Hijacker) (Goose)
12. Squid Girl (Zanreo)
13. Gutierrezia "Snakeweed" Took (PointMaid)
14. E̶r̶e̶n̶ L̶i̶d̶e̶s̶t̶r̶e̶ (̶C̶a̶s̶s̶i̶e̶)̶ (DEAD)

All 14 of the participants have found themselves the winners of a contest for a nice vacation at George Washington Columbo's Island resort, hearing great things about it in spite of the expensive price of staying there. The winners set off on a nice cruise and right now are enjoying their time on the boat, seeing the blue skies and the ocean as well as the activity on the ship as they all head their way towards the island. Eventually they reach their destination nearby the huts where they all get off close to the huts. The ship takes back off where everyone finds themselves greeted by a big, burly man with aviator sunglasses and a long, golden jacket. He is puffing on very fine Cuban cigars. He looks at the people there and already, you can already tell he gives off the air that he is above each and every single one of these people here. He puts on a facade that he's happy to have them all on his island but it is very obviously fake.

Greetings, everyone, I'm George Washington Columbo! Welcome to my brand new island resort. The finest place for rest and relaxation, with everything that's here is the best money can buy. Anything less than that is garbage. And let's face it, normally I wouldn't allow people like you here. It'd be like having McDonald's at a French restaurant. But in your cases, I'll make an exception, because it will be very good for business. So enjoy your nice vacation here, all expenses paid, of course and later on, I'll even bring you into my mansion to discuss some things. But for now, make your way around the island and enjoy what we have to offer here. And reserve yourself a hut to sleep in during the night. Only two people per hut. But for right now, enjoy the sights because it's more than likely you'll never be here ever again!

He laughs as he puffs his cigar.

THE MAP
   

[Caret]

Among one of the guests is a figure strangely resembling Steve from Blue's Clues. They turn to face everyone else.

"Hey kids! Welcome to the <Blue's Clues Vacation Special!!!> I'm Steve, the best <Image Vendor> out there!"

Strangely enough, his lips haven't moved while he was talking.

[Huney]

"Heck yeah!! Vacaaaaaation!!" A girl with a frankly gigantic shuriken rushes about the starting area with her arms up like she just slugged a giant can of Potion Energy Drink (she did).

She DOES however SCREECH to a halt as Mr. Columbo begins his speech, the look on her face screaming that she couldn't possibly have more disdain for this bozo if she tried.

"Well it's... GOOD. to MEET you." She forces out, eyes twitching a bit.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

A mysterious figure slowly reveals themselves... And they're... A stick figure... With all that entails... Thin body, with a circle-like head and hands and feet that look like they were drawn on... The stick figure sighs in relief as he approaches the island... As well as disdain for Colombo...

"Already, I hate this guy." He says, pointing to Colombo...

"Not you guys, I'm sure you're all cool." Pointing to the others.

[Kennifer]

Big talk for some guy who probably knew next to nothing about her, Julia thought as she stared at Mr. Columbo. So far the one girl seemed a bit... overly enthusiastic, and wasn't too sure about the whole "image vendor" thing. Was it something cool like drawing for commissions, or was it that NFT bullshit she'd been reading about?

But whatever, she'd worry about that later.

"Hey. Name's Julia. I'm hoping there's some scuba diving or something here. I'd love to study the native sea life."

[Risdio51]

From the skies above everyone floats a tall man in a black trench coat with long white hair, hold a (probably too long) katana. At the sight of the girl with the shuriken, he smirks.

"Kisaragi. Good to see you."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I'm not too crazy about you, either, pudding pop! GWC says before blowing his cigar smoke into the stickman's face. And oh, yes, Julia, we have some scuba diving here. Meet the people at the Surf Club and they can get you everything you need. Catch some waves or go exploring the ocean. We have it all, baby!

[Huney]

"DON'T call me by my last name, I don't care about that name at ALL! I'm YUFFIE, DARN IT! Who even said tha-"
Yuffie turns around, facing the man responsible.

"GUWAAGGGGHHH!!!!!!" She shouts, falling to the floor in panic. "S... Sephiroth...?! But we killed you... twice!"

[Risdio51]

Sephiroth descends to the beach and slowly walks towards Yuffie.

"I told Cloud. I will never be a memory."

[Caret]

"Surf Club? <Surf's up, dude!> Oops, still <0% Waterproof>. I forgot to install the <Update Aquatic>. Oh well. Come on kids, let's <serf>!"

Steve dashes towards the Surf Club. More accurately, he seems to be gliding in the same pose to the Surf Club. What's up with this so-called "image vendor"?

>to the surf club

[PointMaid]

What appears to be a very short woman with pointy ears and an old-fashioned wardrobe walks up, a bag of cookies slung across her back.

Hey. Good to meet you all. Name's Gutierrezia Took, but most people call me Snakeweed. Biggest businesswoman in the Shire.

[Huney]

"I... If you think I'm scared of you," Yuffie gets on her feet.

"You must not KNOW me very well! But... fine! I guess we'll just have to get along for now, Sephiroth. But I'll be watching you..."

[Kennifer]

"This Surf Club sounds like my kind of place."

Julia nods a quick hello to the other newcomers and also heads to the Surf Club.

[wingedcatgirl]

A cyborg cat-person drifts through the group, eyes closed, just taking in the sounds.

"... Excuse my distraction. My name's Eri."

[Risdio51]

Sephiroth smirks, and flash steps to her in an instant, stabbing the Masamune into a wall, just missing her by a inch or two.

"Are you sure about that, Kisaragi? Are you sure you don't fear…me?"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

THE SURF CLUB

Steve and Julia make their way over there where they meet a surfer dude at the counter, with all kinds of surf boards and scuba equipment. The dude looks a little jaded. He sees the two coming.

Look, dude, I'm tryin' to do what- oh, hey, sorry. I'm just tired of dealin' with the Columbo guy. Been harshin' my mellow a lot lately. How can I help ya?

[Kennifer]

"Ah, aloha! I get that, he seems a bit intense. I'm looking to go scuba diving."

The smile Julia gives the surfer dude looks a lot more genuine than when she greeted Columbo.

[Huney]

"..." Yuffie stares at Sephiroth. Defiantly. Boldly. Before

"uuuuuuuuuuuuwwaaaaAAAAAAAAA"

She scrambles away from Sephiroth like a cat threatened with a bath.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

I'm not too crazy about you, either, pudding pop! GWC says before blowing his cigar smoke into the stickman's face. And oh, yes, Julia, we have some scuba diving here. Meet the people at the Surf Club and they can get you everything you need. Catch some waves or go exploring the ocean. We have it all, baby!

"Name's Henry Stickmin. And screw you, too."

Henry proceeds to yeet a penny at GWC out of pure spite before going straight to the Surf Club.

[Caret]

"Give me one of those <Real California Surfboards> and some <Walgreens Sport SPF 30 Sunblock!> Remember to pratice <Healthy Skin Hygiene> while having fun under the sun!

Steve's body flashes out of existence for a second and reappears, this time wearing an old-timey bathing suit.

[PointMaid]

...Surf-ing? What's that? Hmm. If two people are already going over there, it must be worth checking out.

Snakeweed also heads over to the Surf Club and stares at the surf boards - What're these for? - and a bit in awe at the scuba gear.

[Risdio51]

Sephiroth chuckles at Yuffie and her antics. 

"Hahaha, exactly as expected for you, Kisaragi. No matter."

Sephiroth pulls the Masamune out of the wall and points it at Columbo.

"You. Just who are you, and what do you want from me?"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

You got it, dudes!

The surfer gives Steve a nice, long surfboard and some SPF 30 sunblock. He gives Julia some scuba gear, a nice spandex suit with flippers, googles, snorkles and a fully-charged oxygen tank.

Here ya go, ride them waves and look at the fine sea creatures. All beautiful.

Meanwhile GWC catches the penny Henry throws at him.

Ha, chump change! Your money means nothing to me, I got more than you or your future grandchildren will ever see! he shouts as Henry heads to the Surf Club. And turns his attention to Sephiroth.

I'm just here to give you a good vacation and you point that thing at me? I suggest you put that away, sir, otherwise I'll sue you for everything you got and a whole lot more!

Back at the Surf Club

The surfer gives a friendly wave to Snakeweed and Henry.

How ya doin'? Yeah, they're surf boards. Scuba gear, he addresses the former. Never seen anything like that before, huh? Must be some rock you've been livin' under. I can show ya how it all works, he says, not being rude about it, but rather a bit clueless to Snakeweed's lack of knowledge and is willing to be genuinely helpful.

[Kennifer]

And with that, Julia's going to get changed and all set up to do some scuba diving.

Also an excuse for me to not post as much while I'm busy lol

[PointMaid]

Snakeweed is genuinely in awe and wants to learn what this stuff is. She nods.

She also tosses the surfer one of her cookies and a thank-you.