[Fin] Murder U Too - Endgame

[wahoothis]

". . . Well for one, too much of the evidence points to him. Suspiciously so. The abundance of blue fuzz comes to mind. Don't you think it's quite odd that Cookie Monster was able to clean up every single drop of evidence in Doug's room except for his own fur or hair or whatever you want to call that fuzz.. Now I never murdered anyone before, but if I was cleaning up a crime scene, I'd pick up my own goddamn hair or anything that'd contain my being there. Not to mention the gloves: They had fluff inside there, correct? Wouldn't he have been more careful to leave traces of himself in the gloves? Not to mention he apparently flushed it down the toilet? If he really wanted to get rid of that evidence, why didn't he just throw it over the balcony? Where no one can reach it. Let me guess what your argument is: Because he's dumb." He whispers to Cookie a small "no offense" for the comment. "He's dumb enough to kill someone, clean up everything but the piece of evidence that points entirely to him, and choose a terrible place to dispose of evidence, but also be smart enough to professionally snap someone's neck silently? I'm not buying it sister."

Ranma scratched his chin, getting an idea. "But I guess there is a way to prove it." The martial artist began approaching Cookie Monster. "You've said the killer killed Doug with a snap to the neck, correct?" This was to Kellensea, sneering as his blue eyes looked at her. "Then why don't we prove it right here? Try and snap my neck." He said, arms crossed as he stare down the glutton. "If Cookie Monster truly is the killer, he should have no problem doing the same method again perfectly, no?"

[artsyGeek]

"Alright, alright! Everyone! Present your ideas. Any arguments with or against either Kellensea's or Cookie Monster's testimony can be said. However, they have to be a valid argument, such as what Kellensea mentioned - You can admit to the deed, you can testify any witness accounts, anything that isn't out of pure old bias."

[this may or may not be playing in the background /j]

[wingedcatgirl]

I dither for a few moments. Hmm... hmmm... Oh, all right, I'll let you investigate the crime scene some more.

As for whether the puppet can snap a neck - I've made some... tweaks to the laws of physics around here. Any deliberate attempt to kill someone currently helpless will succeed, even if the method oughtn't to be reliable or possible. So yes, Cookie is capable of snapping Doug's neck. Everyone is.

[wahoothis]

Ranma just shot the host a glare that said "I really hate you right now." "I never said it wasn't possible for him to snap someone's neck. What I'm suggesting whether or not he could do it professionally."

[wingedcatgirl]

I shrug loudly, finding this distinction uninteresting.

[wahoothis]

". . ." Ranma's just done with this place, Kellensea, and the host in general.

>Since the option to investigate was back open, he's going to go back and see if there was anything else. Or removed or went missing.

[Huney]

... Komaru just went on a verbal rollercoaster and, frankly, the dazed look in her eye is enough to tell she's still reeling.

"Okay! When we're done investigating, let's have a full recap of last night as we know it. Is that reasonable?"

[Caret]

After spending a long time deciphering what just went on (and partly due to her admin being AFK), Bow decides to...

>investigate the reactor for any evidence

[artsyGeek]

Haruka decides to >dust the gloves for any incriminating fingerprints against anyone.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Yup! And in the meantime, we'll check for anything else!

>Help with the investigation

[Huney]

>Komaru makes a beeline for those shoes, checking it toe to tip for anything she can find.

[Florien]

Kellensea's stare, as always, is blank. It's hard to look incredulous when one has no visible facial features. But incredulous is what she is.

So. To be clear. You want the murderer to commit a murder right here in front of everyone so we can just execute him anyway? It's certainly a plan. By no means a brilliant plan. But a plan. We'll put that on the back burner for now. Let's start with your primary objection: Too much evidence points to the cookie monster. I see that as a point against your own argument. People make errors. Everyone here is a people. In this hypothetical scenario where there is a different, second killer, they'd have to clean up all the evidence, then plant evidence. Minor issue. People make errors, as I said earlier. There would be perhaps some signs indicating a framing. Ah, "but the frayed nature of the blue thread upon the ground", I hear you object? There's a clear explanation in this elaborate work of madness. This is how I think it went down last night, based on the evidence and experience I have arrayed afore me.

Kellensea arrogantly flips her scarf as she begins.

First, I was on the balcony, Kai entered the kitchen while I was there, and Bow alerted Kai. That led to Kai running towards Bow, and I ran past Kai to evade in case he attempted an attack, hiding in that storage room yonder. Next, Kai doubled back to find me. I went into the vent which Bow escaped into, and Bow was there. Assuming, naturally, they were here for me, I kicked at Bow, and Bow soon thereafter took flight. I then went to the Medbay, and started looting the place. Kai came and confronted me, as did Haruka. I kept hold, however, of my possessions. Following that, the lights returned. There would not be enough time for Kai to murder Doug in between the time in the kitchen area and the scene in the medbay. Further, a murderer would probably attempt to sleep as soon as possible after that. Now, here's what I think happened with the murder itself. 

The cookie monster first went to the kitchen after myself, Kai, and Bow were gone from the place. It retrieved gloves and a knife, leaving some fuzz on the knife rack. At that point, it went back, and severed a thread from its person. Then, it used the gloves to snap the neck of our victim. Once the deed was done, the monster cleaned up evidence, and deliberately left a single string there to evoke a coverup. Then, they travelled to the bathroom, and tossed the knife in the trash, and the gloves in the toilet. However... that's the charitable interpretation. It could also be that they simply screwed up and left evidence behind in the first place while cleaning up. But nonetheless, that is what I believe happened last night.

And then, Kellensea makes the most dramatic possible pose she can, given the scenario, and finally gets to the point.

I posit that COOKIE MONSTER is the murderer, and just didn't hide evidence very well! There was nothing professional about the neck snap, as the host says! The rules of reality, as I guessed much earlier, DO INDEED WORK WEIRD HERE! The kill would be possible no matter WHO attempted it! So, stand with me, and be vindicated, or stand with those who would deny my evidence, and suffer a horrifically bruised ego! AT BEST, the cookie monster framed itself! COOPERATE AND CLAIM VICTORY, AT MY SIDE!

Kellensea then slams her fists upon the table again, and ends her statement with a long stare... only to find everyone else is walking off to look for evidence. Annoyed that people haven't bought into her theory of the crime, she decides to participate in looking for evidence, if just to spite them by finding out how right she is.

>Investigate the body, and attempt to establish time-of-death.

[wingedcatgirl]

>Go over Doug's room again [Ranma, 7]
There really doesn't seem to be any meaningful evidence left to find.

>investigate the reactor for any evidence [Bow, 5]
Bow can't find any evidence that anything interesting took place near the reactor.

>dust the gloves for any incriminating fingerprints against anyone [Haruka, 9]
The gloves have no fingerprints on them.

>Help with the investigation [Monika, 3]
Monika decides to help with the investigation, but can't decide what that means and ends up standing around fruitlessly.

>Komaru makes a beeline for those shoes, checking it toe to tip for anything she can find. [3]
Komaru can't find anything interesting about the shoes.

>Investigate the body, and attempt to establish time-of-death. [Kellensea, 5]
Time... time is an illusion in this place, but after thoroughly examining *mumble mumble something* Kellensea is pretty sure Doug was dead before the vent shenanigans happened.

[wahoothis]

Yeah, at this point Ranma's not gonna argue with her. "Well I would continue arguing with you, but since your head's too caught up your own ass, I see no point." Petty response, sure. But Ranma's petty himself. As is Kellensea, it appears. Both would just continue arguing until the sun blows up.

[Florien]

Okay, I was wrong! Cookie Monster left its room and got the knife and gloves before I did the thing, then murdered Doug. Either way, this clears Kai, and myself. Now then... Whoever has fingerprint powder, maybe use that on the knife, or on the knife rack from whence the knife is missing. I'll deal with other things.

>Investigate the route between Cookie Monster and Doug's room, to see if there perhaps is evidence of that route being traversed in the night.

[Huney]

"I feel like it's only gonna make things worse, but I feel like you two are going around in circles... Ranma, do you remember what she said about how if someone else presented the evidence, we'd believe them? How do you feel about that?"

[artsyGeek]

"..alright. The two split opinion so far are that "Cookie Monster is the killer", as well as the opposite - "Cookie Monster is not the killer". Anyone who believes Cookie Monster isn't the killer, raise your hand." [Haruka says as she raises her hand.]

[artsyGeek]

> Oh, and while waiting for people to raise their hands, she proceeds to dust the knife/knives.

[Billy5545]

"I need to investigate more about this case." Rosa then opts out of Haruka's vote for now because she realizes something about Cookie Monster. He obviously loves cookies. This aspect of his characters makes her wonder if Cookie Monster could have left any cookie crumbs.

> Search for any cookie crumbs between Doug and Cookie Monster's rooms

[wingedcatgirl]

>Investigate the route between Cookie Monster and Doug's room, to see if there perhaps is evidence of that route being traversed in the night. [Kellensea, 8]
The bedroom hallways are a high-traffic area traversed by just about everyone. That said, if Kellensea had to guess based on the evidence alone who traversed the hallway that particular night, she'd guess some combination of Cookie Monster, Komaru, Haruka, Monika, Katsuki, Kai, Bow, Ranma, and herself.

>Dust the knifes [Haruka, 9]
The knifes also have no fingerprints on them.

>Search for any cookie crumbs between Doug and Cookie Monster's rooms [Rosa, 7]
Hmm, this idea might not have been a very fruitful one. There are no cookie crumbs on the floor in any part of the hallway.

[Florien]

Hey look, evidence. That was a good plan that got us EVERYWHERE. Wait. WAIT. The Cookie monster doesn't have fingerprints, does it?!

>Check the cookie monster's hands for fingerprints.

[wahoothis]

Ranma crossed his arms and shrugged. "I'm just questioning her, since she was so certain that the blue monster was the killer the moment the blue fuzz came into existence. And now she claimed that he could've framed himself, which is just. . ." Plus she was so adamant and quick to take the dead guy's stuff. She clearly has none of a little thing called morals. "Everytime I try to argue with her and bring up facts, she just can't let go. Honestly, getting sick of going in circles here. I'm just not prepared to let a potential innocent person get sent to their death just because Ms. Kleptomaniac wanted a dead man's coat. If I do, then can I really call myself a man. . . ?" He took a deep, and rather shaky breath as he clenched the fist. "I already failed to stop one murder of an innocent man. The least I can do is try to prevent another." His tone was almost filled with some regret and some anger as well, as he just stared down at the ground for a few seconds. " Let's just. . . Get this over with already." Ranma mumbled, gripping the sleeves of his gi and just leaned against the wall.

[wingedcatgirl]

>Check the cookie monster's hands for fingerprints. [Kellensea]
... It's plainly visible even from a distance: Cookie Monster's fingers have lots of fuzz and no prints.

[Billy5545]

"If that blue person is the killer, that must be pretty subtle for him."

Rosa then decides to return, and instead examine the handmark on Doug's neck again to match its size to those of other people with the matching hand shape.

> Match the handmark on Doug's neck to the hands of other people

[Subparman]

...With that revelation, Kai sucks in a breath, discreetly tightening his grip on the edge of the cafeteria table.

/vote Cookie Monster