Corrupt a Wish

[PowerStroke6001]

Like the Three Genies thread, but this classic forum game has but one task for you: ruin the above poster's wish!

I wish for pie!

[Caret]

Granted. The pie's main favor is lit dynamite.

I wish I could punch Sendri Pilotscience in the face.

[Kennifer]

Granted. You get killed in an unspeakably gruesome manner right after you punch them, though.

--

I wish I had a second cat who got along really well with Dusty.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Granted. You die of sheer adorableness overload.

I wish for a pizza.

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. The crust is made of sawdust and salt, the cheese is also sawdust, and the only toppings available are rotten pieces of pepperoni.

I wish for a bathtub.

[TotallyNotAnAlien]

Granted. It is now arriving at your location.

...from approximately 240 feet above said location.

----

I wish for somebody to love

[Kennifer]

Granted. You're ok with a Yandere type, right?

I wish for a good new book to read.

[KungFuCutbug]

granted! enjoy your new copy of the English to Arabic dictionary!

—

I wish for a new hat

[TalesofUnder]

Granted. Your hat is, in fact, a parasitic organism that looks like an ordinary hat. You've had your body snatched. Great job.

I wish for more genies.

[Subparman]

Granted. They aren't tied to a lamp and instantly kill you.

I wish for nachos.

[EeveeGirlChey]

Granted. The "nachos" are made out of cardboard, cheese sauce from cheap, low-quality boxed "deluxe" mac and cheese, ketchup, and jarred pepper slices that went out of date six months ago.

I wish I had fairy godparents.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, but there's now a psychotic fairy hunter trailing you!

I wish I could maintain a healthy weight without changing my diet.

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. Laying or sitting makes you lose weight, which, uh... let's just say depending on how much you lounge around it gets dangerous real fast.

I wish I stopped taking impromptu naps.

[TenOfSwords13]

Granted, now you can't sleep for less than the recomended daily amount of sleep at a time. This leads to you oversleeping on many occasions, which probably isn't good for you.

I wish for invisiblity powers.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, but whatever you ate's still visible in where your stomach would be. Good luck trying to hide that floating apple!

I wish I had more motivation to finish my plots.

[Billy5545]

Granted, you manage to finish all your RP plots, but you overworked yourself too much to the point that you get hospitalized.

I wish I have more time to do other RPs

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. You do this by sacrificing all other responsibilities, including personal care. You may or may not die from starvation, skin infections, dehydration, or any combination of the 3.

I wish for a cheeseburger.

[awe921]

it's all cheese. the buns? cheese. the condiment? cheese. the vegetables? CHEESE. the salt? it's ALL CHEESE. as you try to take a bite on the cheeseburger, you realize a terrible thing.

YOU are cheese.

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i want a nice hat.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, it eats your head.

I wish my keyboard's keys never got sticky.

[Florien]

Granted. You no longer have any electronic devices that need a keyboard, so the keys can no longer get sticky. Hope you like your new and exciting luddite life.

I wish to win an election in a literal landslide, in which all the rest of the candidates are killed in a tragic natural disaster, and I'm the only person running who remains.

[Guma]

Granted, but you are immediately rescinded of your position and charged for first degree mass murder. Your VP reveals himself as a Social Darwinist and is elected instead.

I wish there were no abusive parents.

[awe921]

granted! now they're all orphans.

---

i wish to have a hat that doesn't eat me.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Granted! It's specifically an Unusual Hat! With... Burning Flames. Oh, and you can't put out the Unusual Hat's flames. Putting it on immediately sets you on fire.

I wish that my characters could actually survive in Murdergames.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, they die first in the Hunger Games instead.

I wish I had night vision.

[Mackie]

Granted. Your eyesight is attuned well to night, but only to night. You are blinded by daylight.

I wish I had a million dollars.