Corrupt a Wish

[moefoxes]

Granted, but everything you want to buy goes up in price so much that you can't afford it, no matter how much money you have.

I wish for a chocolate cake.

[Kennifer]

Granted. It's delicious. But it's too bad you're also now highly allergic to chocolate...

--

I wish I could rewind time (and not end up in prehistory or something.)

[madface7]

You can rewind time! Now the clones of timeline masters are getting jealous of your powers and refuse to talk to you.

--

I insert the wrong game.

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. You have posted in this thread.

I wish for a cure for alpha-1.

[Dookie]

Granted, you drop the only copy and it spills on the ground.

I wish for a book to read.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, it's an eldritch tome that you're forced to read aloud, and you end up unleashing an evil incomprehensible being into the world.

I wish for faster internet connection.

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. It goes so fast it causes you to time travel into the bad future.

I wish my cooking skills were better.

[Guma]

Granted. Your food is so good that CIA agent Gordon Ramsay decides you're too dangerous to be kept alive and erases you and your entire family from the fabnric of existence, along with everyone's memories of you.

I wish microtransactions were illegal worldwide.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Granted; now you'll have to buy certain versions of the game to get all the upgrades you want. Spending $60 for each copy of the game until you get the stats you want.

I wish I had a hammer.

[PowerStroke6001]

Granted, it's a fake golden hammer that squeaks and does nothing.

I wish for bioluminescence.

[Florien]

Granted. Your house's water now has a nasty algal bloom which will never go away. It is bioluminescent algae though.

I wish to always correctly guess any person's username/password combination to any account on the first try, not by any cryptographical skill, but by luck alone.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Granted; though when you do log-in, the FBI instantly comes by and arrests you.

I wish I can cure cancer.

[josh6243]

You gain the ability to cure cancer by invoking Peto's Paradox, which is the mysterious inability of large organisms to get cancer. In short, you make everyone extremely large. And due to the square-cube law, they all begin to starve. I hope you're happy.

I wish I was miserable.

[Dookie]

Granted. You get so miserable you are homeless, depressed, and dirty.

I don't wish for no cookies.

[madface7]

Granted. You don't wish for no cookies. In fact, you don't wish at all, rendering your turn on the genie useless.

I wish all

catpeople

a very pleasant evening.

[Florien]

Granted. All catpeople get a very pleasant evening. However, you awakened the uncreative monkey's paw, so to speak. The very next day ALL LIFE DIES FOREVER AND THE UNIVERSE IS NOW COLD AND DEAD AND EMPTY. No, it doesn't make sense, nor does it follow on clearly. But the uncreative monkey's paw doesn't care about that. Everything is dead now.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.

[josh6243]

Granted. You get placed into an animal collect-a-thon video game riddled with so many glitches that it's a miracle when it still functions.

I wish for a contract.

[Caret]

Granted. You are forced to sign an contract that turns you into a genie, forcing you to grant wishes to anyone who stumbles upon your lamp for the rest of eternity. Hope you enjoy the itty-bitty living space!

I wish for the ability to summon any fictional character of my choosing.

[josh6243]

You get that ability, but you can't choose who you get.

I wish to be an unstoppable android.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Granted; but you get transported to the moon right after and all you can do is walk around, with nothing to destroy.

I wish the Forum Games on Trouble Cube were more popular.

[Florien]

Granted. The Forum Games themselves become extremely popular... on other forums. The versions on trouble cube are still largely ignored.

I wish to do an extremely impressive backflip and survive with no injuries.

[Cassie]

Granted. You survive, but the earth beneath you doesn't, sending you falling down to its molten core. You wish you could die from the painful heat.

I wish I can always throw a boomerang and have it return to my hands without any training.

[MadeOfMilk]

Granted. Fortunately, they have the power to bump threads as well. Unfortunately, they now have a higher chance of exploding in your hand. Sorry about your medical bills.

I wish I could travel to any fictional universe I want.

[josh6243]

Granted, but you teleport a la SCP-507. Enjoy.

I wish I could hang out with Men at Work (the music band) when they were in their prime

[Pffffft shsbsbshwhwi]

Granted, you hang with them.
At the noose. Yikes.

I wish to drop the sickest dab the world has ever seen.