[Roleplay - Drop-in] GET THAT PIZZA!: REBAKED

[Superjohn 2.0]

Cyborg Zombie Superjohn! Who escapes with the pizza to his underground fortress from post apocalyptic bandits, but plot twist! Someone is sitting on Superjohns throne!

[Cassie]

What the fuck is Libre doing there?

What the fuck is he bashing Superjohn's face in for?

What the fuck ia he running away with the Pizza for?

[wmradar]

Why the fuck is Wm stealing Libre's shtick?

Why the fuck is Wm dressed as a creeper?

Why are Libre's intestines all the way over there now?

Deciding that this little rule of three gag has run its course, Wm (or what's left of him after that) grabs the pizza.

[josh6243]

In a surprising twist, a wormhole sucks up Wm and sends the Trouble Cube User to a timeline where Wm has enough power to rule the world.

In 20XX, the pizza has become a rare commodity. Those who possess the pizza become the rulers. And since Wm owns a pizza, Wm has become the ruler of West Philadelphia, the kingdom where Will Smith was born and raised. Wm rules from a playground where Will used to spend most of his days. But then, Commander Yammark picks a fight, causing Wm's subjects to get scared and relocate Wm to Bel-Air with a strange aunt and uncle.

Due to this upset, Commander Yammark claims the pizza.

[Florien]

Florien and Florian drop by in a stolen time machine and casually erase the kingdom of West Philadelphia from existence by screwing with timelines. They then steal the Pizza from the fractured reality of the future and travel to the Permian era to change history so that sauropsids become the dominant kind of thing then instead of synapsids, to see if that means that an eventual sapient civilization-building species has two temporal fenestra instead of one in this new timeline.

Why did they do that? Probably because it seemed fun. However, making reproduction harder for mammal-ancestors and making the same easier for reptile-ancestors turns out to be an absurd amount of work, even with a time machine. They're so busy trying to alter the timeline hundreds of millions of years ago that they leave the Pizza unattended for just a moment, allowing it to be snatched by...

[Cassie]

Libre, who then goes through a portal as history gets fucked over by reptiles.

That's vile.

[Superjohn 2.0]

Unfortunately Cyborg Superjohn (who is cured of his zombieism) is at the end of the portal, and proceeds to send Libre flying with a cyborg kick to his groin. He then takes the pizza and transports himself to a word exactly like our own.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Awaiting Superjohn is Matthew, who uploads a computer virus into him. The Cyborg can only watch as Matthew runs away with the pizza before going haywire, losing control of his programming and going on a rampage against his will before he destroys a building he's in, causing it to collapse on top of him.

[Cassie]

Libre re-yeets Matthew back at the building, and skedaddles with the Pizza as Matthew gets whacked to death by the debris.

[josh6243]

The Beach Boys, in their prime, distract Libre by singing a catchy tune and run off with the pizza, only to be bested by ...

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

'Cause this is thriller
Thriller night
And no one's gonna save you
From the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller
Thriller night
You're fighting for your life
Inside a killer, thriller tonight, yeah

These lyrics are what the Beach Boys happen to hear as Matthew appears in a red jacket and pants with his whole hoard of zombies. They dance right up to the Beach Boys right before Matthew instructs them to go after the boys. They swarm the Beach Boys, getting their flesh and brains eaten as Matthew takes the pizza. One of the zombies try to get him to share. But he tells them all to "Fuck off, this is my pizza!" Angry that they were used, the zombies swarm Matthew, eating him as the pizza rolls away into the hands of...

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

MP, back into pizza catching after a long hiatus as he appears through a portal.

... That's the last time I try to fight off that Godmodder...

MP notices the pizza rolling... and decides to take it.

This is mine now!

MP runs off with the pizza... or WOULD have, not it have been for...

[Cassie]

"BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH"

Libre screaming MP's ears off, skedaddling off with the Pizza.

[Superjohn 2.0]

But Superjohn grabs Libre and snaps his neck. He then takes the pizza and escapes into YouTube! Wait what?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Matthew happens to watch Superjohn as he gets into a YouTube video. He reaches his hand into the screen and grabs John by the hand and pulls him out halfway through. Then he deletes the video as that makes John's lower half disappear, leaving his upper half dangling down the monitor. Matthew snatches the pizza away where he then heads into Twitter, which is Hell on Earth as a mob rips him apart and gives the pizza to their leader, who is revealed to be...

[Florien]

The Florie/ans! Having incited a twitter war via clever use of twitter bots both praising and denouncing the food that is raisins, they escape the twitter carnage with the Pizza, and hide out in a Central Siberia-based troll farm! (And then they put raisins on the Pizza and post a picture or short video to every social media platform, just to watch the fallout.)

[josh6243]

ShinraBanshoumon casts a paralysis spell on the Florians and flees with the pizza. The fox sorceress doesn't get far as she gets caught by hunting dogs owned by ...

[Cassie]

Captain Spaceboy, who unfortunately gets knocked out by Libre, and gets run over by a truck.

W-what're you doing, truck?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

The truck turns around and hits Libre and crashes into the wall, pinning Libre. Matthew gets out and gets the pizza and jumps onto a train car.

[josh6243]

The train plummets off a random cliffside as the train conductor is busy fighting off a mysterious vagrant. What kind of clown would do that? Never mind, the train conductor is a clown. As the pizza is caught by the train conductor, who is clearly Tricky the Clown, he tries to flee with the pizza before he is killed by ...

[Superjohn 2.0]

Superjohn, who shot him in the skull with a shotgun.

"I fucking hate clowns!"

John then steals the pizza, and activates his jetpack to fly away with it.

[Florien]

The jetpack immediately explodes when activated, reducing Superjohn to fragments scattered across the area. The Pizza, as always, is intact, as Florien and Florian swoop in to grab it on a pair of parachutes. They then fly off into the sky on a stolen helicopter, Pizza in the back seat.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

As they fly in their helicopter, Florien and Florian find themselves being blinded by a bright light. They are unable to see as they careen their chopper into some power lines, electrocuting them and reducing the helicopter into burning metal fragments. Matthew heads to the flaming wreckage and takes the pizza before heading onto a bus to make his escape.

[josh6243]

The bus crashed into a fake tunnel. Wil E. Coyote has struck again. As he flees with the pizza, he gets run over by ...

[Superjohn 2.0]

Superjohn! Who grabs the pizza and rides off on his stolen six flags bus. But suddenly a new Challenger appears!