[Roleplay - Drop-in] GET THAT PIZZA!: REBAKED

[Whistle]

Whistle, who snatches it with a fishnet. Unfortunately, fishnets are not known to be the sturdiest material, so it ends up falling right down into the hands of...

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Matthew's hands, who was right under Whistle when the pizza fell. He rows away on his boat right when someone tips it over. Matthew presumably drowns and the pizza floats into the hands of...

[Florien]

A squid. Specifically a Humboldt Squid, the most spiteful and angry of squids. The squid is so much the goose of the ocean that it goes to a small town near Atlantis to ruin days. It dies when a house it destroyed falls upon it, and Florien and Florian claim the Pizza from the contrived coincidence. I mean rubble. But then...

[wingedcatgirl]

Dream hijacks the house and runs the Floriæns over, crushing them instantly!

THAT'S NOT HOW HOUSES WORK

It is when I've hijacked them~!

She pops out and retrieves the pizza from their flattened corpses...

[josh6243]

The Air Force One Angel appeared behind Dream. The amalgamation of soldiers simply vaporized Dream with the heat ray and attempted to deliver it to the ADA. Despite this, someone managed to steal the pizza from the almighty being, and that person is ...

[Florien]

The Floriæns, here to save the day with the actual air force one! Because they're mutual presidents of the US again. How, this time? Probably by extreme violence, as usual. The point is, actual air force one blows up the filthy imposter with president guns or something, and as the indestructible Pizza is sucked into the engine, bringing the plane down, Florien and Florian parachute out over the Netherlands, grabbing the falling Pizza on the way. The pair then become Dutch citizens for some inexplicable reason.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

And Matthew happens to be living in the Netherlands for some reason. The Floriæns discover this when they're both out on the street and see the Dutch Clog Dancing team, which Matthew happened to join. He entices them with his clog dancing and when they all cheer the team, Matthew sneaks away with the Pizza and moves to Switzerland, where no one will bother him. Or so he thinks...

[Superjohn 2.0]

Suddenly, a avalanche consumes Matthew. Superjohn with megaphone appears and pulls the pizza out of Matthews dead hands, then he teleports himself to Greece, only to be attacked immediately by....

[josh6243]

The Intruder. Just as he was about to share the pizza with his fellow Alternates, they get beaten down by ...

[Zanreo]

...Zanreo, who crushes them all with her spaceship. She grabs the pizza and flies away into space, ready to enjoy it...

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Then Matthew appears right by Zanreo, flying on a jetpack, with a ray gun. He goes inside the spaceship and uses the ray gun that sprays a laser that disintegrates Zanreo into atoms. And Matthew flies off with the Pizza.

[josh6243]

Matthew gets sucked into a wormhole, which sprouts arms and snatches the pizza. Then the wormhole gets comically erased by ...

[Superjohn 2.0]

Superjohn 2.0, who takes the pizza and bravely runs away into a creepy abandoned apartment complex. Nothing can go wrong in here!

[Florien]

As Superjohn hides in the complex, he hears a knock at the door. Slowly, at first, but then it becomes more and more urgent, until suddenly...

The Slumlord Floriæns arrive! They charge Superjohn extortionate rent for the miserable rat-infested apartment, and repossess the Pizza! Then, just to be spiteful, they evict him so he can never rent a place ever again and garnish his future income.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

As the Floriæns count their money, Matthew comes in with a high-priced lawyer, claiming he lived in those apartments for a time (he didn't but he's just saying he is) and complains about the conditions of the apartment's environment, so he takes them to court. Normally, Matthew would get in trouble for fraud (since he is lying about living in those apartments), but since the lawyer he hired is so damn good, he wins the case and take all the money from the Floriæns as well as the Pizza. Naturally, the lawyer takes a hefty sum of the winnings, but Matthew doesn't care. He just wanted the Pizza and he got it.

[josh6243]

The pizza was lost in a freak gambling accident. Vanilla the Yeti-Elf won the pizza by pure coincidence, but just as she exited the casino, somebody mugged her and ran off with it. Who could it be?

[wingedcatgirl]

We'll never know, because they suddenly spontaneously ceased to exist for no reason all at once.

"RIP in pepperonis," Sylvi says with a :pensive: expression. Then it takes the pizza and uses its winged catgirl powers to nyoom to the secret cat colony in the sky.

[Florien]

Unfortunately, the secret cat colony in the sky is in the path of several planned missile trajectories, so the US government steps in to demolish it for the safety of the cats.

Florien and Florian "accidently" don't warn Sylvi about this and it is killed in the demolition. Then, the "search and rescue" team retrieves the Pizza and hands it over. Florien and Florian head off to Transcarpathia, Co-presidentially, to await the next step.

[josh6243]

Transcarpathia was nuked off the face of the Earth. The pizza is somehow intact. Many people try to get the pizza, but die due to radiation poisoning. After a great civilization reset, a lungfish tries to grab the pizza, but then...

[wingedcatgirl]

A hungry catgirl pouncekills the lungfish and prepares to nom its delicious prey, but then notices an even more appetizing smell! What is this curious disc? The catgirl doesn't know what, but it knows it doesn't want to share it with anyone. It picks up the pizza, preparing to abscond immediately...

[Lofour]

...and then Lofour swoops in and steals the pizza from wingedcatgirl. He runs towards his secret hut in a forest and is about to place it in an unbreakable safe but then...

[Florien]

Only YOU can prevent forest fires!

Which means only YOU are responsible for them!

The Floriaens arrive, the forest burning behind them. Incendiary weapons? Napalm? Arson of some other kind? Random fire by luck? Who's to say? Anyway, it's probably not related to the flamethrowers that the Floriaens brought. Nor is the fact that the hut is burning now, and that all exits are blocked. After being sure Lofour has died of smoke inhalation, the pair clamber into the ruins in their fireproof equipment and grab ahold of the Pizza.

They then get in a hot air balloon and fly to rural North Dakota, thinking no one would dare look for the Pizza in such a barren wasteland.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

As the Floriaens fly, they quickly notice the upper part of their balloon suddenly popping making them fly uncontrollably all around as the balloon runs out of air. It crashes to the ground, making the Pizza roll over to Matthew, who was shown to have a dart gun. Matthew grabs the Pizza and takes a teleport into the year 2380. No one will find him now! Surely not...

[Superjohn 2.0]

except Superjohn did! He drops a flying car on Matthew, then grabs the pizza from his corpse , and travels back to his future apartment.

[josh6243]

In the future apartment, Bender the Time-Traveling Robot runs over Superjohn in his werecar form before realizing that he's too sober. He passes out and the pizza lands in the lap of...