[Mafia] Your Final Frontier: Go 4th and perish!

[Florien]

The screech of an intercom cuts through the quiet hum of the florescent lights in the grim concrete box of "Studio A", where you've all found yourselves. (not metaphorically. Yet. Only literally.) Studio A is a prison propaganda room, where prisoners stand to have pictures and films taken where they praise the Alliance and all it has done, as well as the great mercy they've been shown by being allowed to live. (Incidentally, it's adjacent to an actual general propaganda studio, Studio B.) The screen on the wall flares to life, revealing a room with seven individuals in it. The resolution is surprisingly bad, for a place that has functional FTL travel. Your captor, a mildly annoyed looking plant-person in some of the most stereotypical dictator clothes you've ever seen, speaks.

You know why you're here.

(Of course, whether or not you actually know depends on many factors.)

Alsso, ssay hello to the intergalactonational community! Thiss iss being broadcasst on an osstenssibly public channel, becausse it turnss out it really raissesss that "people having rightss" sscore when you provide multiple ssourcess of entertainment, even if there'ss no way for them to accessss that. Alsso a bunch of other metricsss that having masss execution as a ssemi-televissed entertainment improvess. Not that anyone will ever ssee thiss, it'll be losst media! Which will get even more attention, becausse the losst media weirdoss will all come along and be like "wow, what was thiss 'Pardon Me' game show that there exisstss no footage of and only sscattered reportss that it exissted in the firsst place?" Really, thiss iss the besst for everyone. Mosstly floran, but alsso everyone. Anyway, here'ss your judgess. Floran'ss back in the judge sseat again, insstead of jusst hossting. We couldn't find a sseventh who wasss free for right now who floran wanted to invite really. Firsst, we've got floran'ss really cool cosstuming department guy, Lancegear the Multithreaded!

Lancegear appears to be some kind of humanoid robot thing, though he looks to be built in the really inefficient manner of an "artificial life form" rather than an actually effective robot.

Hello. I turned off the tonal indicator. It ruined my verbal sniping. Not that I do a lot of that, but I like it to be effective.

Next, we've got thiss guy! Thiss guy, Colonel Valdragon, of our political officers. That'ss how it'ss pronounced apparently. Vahl-Drah-Gone. Floran looked it up. Though for whatever reassson, he pronouncess it "Val-Dragon", sso really floran doessn't know what to believe... point iss, he caught a bunch of big deal traitorss like yoursselvess recently, including ssome regime peopless. Very exciting. (Never should have given the ssurvivorss and dead alike chance to do their own thing again, but that wassn't floran'ss call really. Might even do it again, who knowss?) Anyway, ssay hi, Colonel!

Valdragon is possibly the most generic looking human you've ever seen. If you passed him in a crowd, you would have no idea he didn't belong there. Perhaps that's how he's gotten such a high rank as a glorified spy.

Yes, Hello. Your deaths are imminent, and rightly so. You've stood against us for a length of time that's... unacceptable.

Sendri freezes up for a bit as they come to the next judge. They seem a bit nervous around this one, but he just looks like some older human in an older-style space uniform.

Thiss iss Callenbourne. Former Alliance officer, back when it wass the Coalition. Did a lot of raiding on the marginss. Iss retired now, but the point iss, iss sstill ssuper influential, and floran can't get rid of him. Uhh... yeah sso...

Callenbourne says nothing as Sendri moves on, just giving a vaguely unpleasant look.

Anyway, moving on, thesse are Elvira and Hyeck Null. Ssiblingss? Floran thinkss? Maybe? Whatever, they're Corporatzi, part of our trade linkss with the outsside world. Ssoftware, floran thinkss. Bad working conditionss in their place, maybe, but floran can advertisse the benifitss of Alliance Citizenship relative to Protectorate Sspace later.

Hi!
Yeah hi.

As Sendri moves past the two vaguely similar looking judges who may or may not be siblings, they come to the final judge, a brightly glowing bluish plasma-creature whose very presence radiates "weird, exaggerated accent".

Thiss iss... New Hydroxyl. Uhh... Name? Your name? Floran doessn't have it yet. Whatever, he'ss the new guy for the empty sseat on the highesst directorss place probably.

It's Hexafluoride, Director! Thank you for this opportunity to work with you on this execution project.

No trace of a strange, exaggerated accent can be detected.

Anyway, it'ss all great and thingss are going to end well, and with many cassualtiess. Map of the prissson and the sstudios you have accesss to iss right here, sso check that out. You'll alsso find a lisst of your new prissonmatess and ssome trivia about them. Oh, but your filess were classsified, sso we ssent it down through one of Valdragon'ss captainss who ssent it down to their councilss to jusst make up ssome factss about you all. They're accurate enough, probably.

---

Bloop!

Alright, have fun in there!

Our Esteemed Players of this Game:

Karma (The Dog one). Trivia: Karma, despite her name, is a devoted Zoroastrian. Stumped, The Alliance Employee: On the Right Side of History.
Hat Kid (The Kid one). Trivia: Hat Kid's given name is Robert, but that wasn't feminine enough, so they changed it to Bruce. Dead, Investigator: Strayed into the deep end of the pool.
Inez Cortana (The Smart Speaker one). Trivia: Cortana is solely responsible for the Greek Debt Crisis of 2008.
Dr. Everett King (The Fruit-Wielding one). Trivia: Dr. King's least favorite chess piece is the bishop, because his son, Neverett King Esq., choked to death on one at the age of 51. He also recently choked to death on a bishop. It is a genetic disorder. (Slot occupied by Lucinda the All Witnessing)
Bart Simpson (The Eternal One) Trivia: Bart Simpson was not born in Springfield Statesonia, but in Dickensian England. His full name is Bartholomew Kratchet Simpleson Dead, Black Hat Gunslinger: (rude)
Dr. Jack Bright (The Necklace one). Trivia: Dr. Bright once invented a new kind of mop, but sold the patent without ever producing more than a prototype.
Dr. Clef (The Violent One). Trivia: Dr. Clef's degree is in herpetology. 
Double Trouble (The Tricky One). Trivia: Double Trouble, while most famous for their career as a stage magician, also briefly held the world record for most balls juggled at once, (three).
Lloyd Henrick (The Extradited one). Trivia: Lloyd is 561st in line for the thrones of England and North Korea, and 592nd in line for the throne of Monaco.
Bit (The Mercenary One). Trivia: Bit's career as a bounty hunter was started after she caught the notorious fraudster "the ant farmer" at her job as an accountant.
Hallie Mathews (The Cat one). Trivia: Hallie briefly worked as a florist apprentice in Allfield, but left on discovering that there were no florist shops in the entire colony. Dead, Defibrillator: Caught the laser pointer, and the bullet. 
Yvonne "Bow" Ciel (The Pokémon one). Trivia: "Bow" is an acronym for "Breath of the Wild", her former favorite video game. Her current favorite video game is YIIK. Dead, Profiler: Reports of her death are not greatly exaggerated.
Nikku Morioka (The Silent one). Trivia: Nikku, along with the ghost of Steven Chu (An energy secretary for an old earth government), invented the ubiquitous scroll lock key. Dead, Identity Thief: Both she and the feds after her were robbed.
Anastatia Nikolaevna Romonova (The Royal one). Trivia: Anastatia was an uncredited extra in the hit movie Die Harderer Again Twice Another Day Deluxe 2 Turbo HD, in the Zepplin Scene.
Fake Kiryu (The Artificial One). Trivia: Fake Kiryu is a regular competitor in local fishing competitions, known for his bait, which he home-makes out of stale cheese danishes.
Dinowrestler Coelasilat (The Sauropsid one). Trivia: Coelasilat, before legally changing his name to "Dinowrestler" was Oliver Coelasilat, a barista at The Outpost Coffeehouse.

The Roles Again, for quick reference.

Team Innocent:

Your goal is to eliminate the murderers by any means necessary. Otherwise, you'll end up dead, likely brutally.

The Medic:
Scout! I'll Heal you!

With either magic or medical practice, you have managed to figure out how to treat even grievous wounds. Each night, you may protect a player. That player will survive an attempt on their life. However, if you protect a murderer and they choose to kill, you will die instead of the intended victim.

The Investigator:
Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia no one will ever edit again!

With the power of a phone with Wikipedia, (The Free Encyclopedia Anyone Can Edit) you can go on a Wiki-walk against any player during the night phase, and at the end of night phase, you will receive a list of five potential roles they could have. One will be true. You cannot investigate the same player twice.

The White-Hat Gunslinger:
The New Sheriff in Town.

You've smuggled in a gun to the prison. Unfortunately, you're too closely watched to use it to escape, you'd be dead within minutes, and future tech is too good at healing bullet wounds for it to really be worth it. You have enough bullets for every murderer, and each night you may attempt to shoot a player. If the player is a murderer, they will die, but if they are not, they will survive and you will be killed instead.

The Cartoon:
Go Forth, my Bill Murray Army!

You're incredibly lucky. You stumble ass-backwards into success all the time, and you eat your Lucky Charms (Tee Em) every morning. Well, not every morning, you only have two tiny boxes left, enough for two nights of luck. You may expend one at will any night phase, and you will be immune to kills for that night. Once you've run out of lucky charms though, you have no defenses.

The Illusionist:
Great and Powerful! Not a Magician!

Probably extremely egotistical and possibly actually magical, you have mastered the art of making things not as they seem, for a brief time. You may widely be regarded as "best character" on any given TV show if you lean into that egotism, but nonetheless, your skills may prove useful. Any night, you may swap two players. Anything that would happen to one will, instead, happen to the other, and vise versa.

The Watcher:
Not necessarily your older brother.

A few months of filming (or possibly simply playing with a remote-control toy) has taught you how to use camera drones. You are able to pick a room each night, and receive a report of what happens there during the night.

The Hero:
Go out, kill, steal, and... oh, wrong sort of hero.

You can protect one player each night. If the murderers attempt to kill that player, you die instead, along with the murderer. If you protect a murderer who's going out to kill though, you die instead.

The Alliance Employee:
Business or Pleasure? Probably both.

You're a mid-ranked Alliance Officer, entered into the game willingly, hoping to find out the murderers yourself for some entertainment. You've been given no information, but you will have a safe-word of your choice. At any time, you may say the safe-word, and you will be stumped. Being stumped means you will be allowed to post in the thread, but you may not vote or be killed. You can, however, investigate if you so desire. If you accidently say your safe-word, you will be stumped. There is no take-back of a stumping.

The Defibrillator:
CLEAR!

You managed to pry open an emergency defib kit and take it with you. You can use the defib to invert someone's end-of-night result. That is, if they were going to be alive, they will be dead, but if they were going to be dead, they'll live. Only once, of course.

Team Murderers:
You're here to eliminate all opposition. Whether you ended up here deliberately or simply got drafted into being the killer is only known to you, but you do know that you have a chip in your head preventing you from revealing the names of your teammates, and if you don't get killing, it's your blood that's a-spilling, that much is clear.

The Black-Hat Gunslinger:
The Newer Still Sheriff in town. Ignore the dead one over there.

You brought a gun to the prison, and a single bullet. Your intended target will always die, no matter what is in your way. No Cartoon is lucky enough to escape your shot, no Medic skilled enough to fix the injury, No Hero will kill you, your bullet tearing through them and your intended target both. The Defibrillator can't revive someone dead from your shot. Not even the illusionist can stop your bullet from finding its mark. A medic or hero foolishly protects you and you target someone else? Both the one protecting you and your intended target will die. Unfortunately, it is only the one bullet, and it's not exactly reusable. If the White-Hat Gunslinger shoots at you before you've used your bullet, you expend the bullet, and they die instead.

The Ninja
Stealth 100.

You have mastered evasion of detection. The watcher's camera drone cannot spot you, and once per game, you may simply make a player disappear without trace. This functions like a normal kill, but leaves no evidence behind.

The Unknown Quantities:
These roles can show up on either side! Oooh, Spooky! Treasonous!

The Pickpocket:
The Ultimate Percussionist!

You have trained in theft. Not very much, but you have trained. Once a night, you may attempt to pickpocket a player. You will then play rock paper scissors with that player, and if you win, you will learn their role and have the option to roleblock them for the night. If you lose, you find out nothing but your target discovers your identity. If you tie, nothing happens at all. If you are on the scum team, you may also kill.

The Victim of Circumstance:
Wrong Place, Wrong Time, you Precambrian Rabbit, you.

You are the polar opposite of the Cartoon far above, having nothing but bad luck. The Alliance captured you either by mistake or for something that wasn't your fault, and the judges pity you for it, enough that you actually have pity points, allowing you to redirect judge votes to any target of your choosing. You have three pity points you can expend at any time and in any number during any day phase. Using them reveals you as the Victim of Circumstance. Using those points and announcing a target can get judges to switch their votes to that target as if they loathed that target. (This does not change judge rankings of individual players, it just changes the votes of the judges). If you are a murderer, you may also kill.

The Suppressor:
You're a knockout!

You smuggled in some sedatives, and thus can knock a player out every night, roleblocking them. If you are a murderer, you may also kill, but you cannot use both your roleblock and your kill in the same night.

The Profiler:
<Criminal Minds Joke Here>

You have researched the judges carefully, and you have the dark magic of television psychology in your very bones (assuming you have those). You know two of the judges of your choice's full behaviors, bets, and likes and dislikes. You also can at any time and as many times as you like, request the full judge rankings to be sent to you. Twice per game, you can completely scramble the judge rankings and reorder them to suit your interests. If you are a murderer, you may also kill.

The Third Parties:
Not the Constitution Party or the Greens or the Liberal Democrats (of the UK) or Die Linke or anything like that. You have your own conditions for victory.

The Identity Thief:
I just need the number, the expiration date, and those three numbers on the back.

You've taken over so many lives that some days you're not entirely sure what your name is anymore, or even what it was in the first place. You can steal the role of any dead person and assume their victory conditions as your own. Until then, you have no victory condition and cannot win. People will also be told when you've taken over a role, but not what role you took over.

The Whistleblower:
Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT

You're very interested in exposing exactly what the heck is going on here, so your goal is to survive to the end by any means necessary. If the killers come for you, you'll side with them instead of dying. (Thus switching from having the town victory condition to the scum victory condition.) However, the white-hat gunslinger can kill you no matter what side you're on. You do not count as part of team murderers until you are converted by them.

We go live on the Tenth of June. At that point, the thread will be opened and you may begin posting and exploring the complex you've found yourselves in.

[Florien]

Alright, alright. Let'ss get going! Everyone, go go go!

Oh, and you may have ssome quesstionss about the mannequin sstanding in the 14th sspot. Well, we alsso brought Dr. Clef, alsso from that weird foundation place. But then we told him he'd be sharing a room with Dr. Bright and he got sso angry his head literally exploded. He'ss dead. Like... we thought it was jusst an SCP thing or whatever, but no, he'ss actually dead now.

We're looking for a replacement, but until then, pretend that Lucinda the All-Witnessssing iss the fourteenth player. She'ss more capable than you'd think.

Do I have to clean up the exploded head, Director?

...No. It was in one of the rooms with a drain, so a guard got it. You don't have to do cleaning up anymore, you're a director.

Lucinda does not look more capable than a normal mannequin, but you've been surprised before.

[Cutegirl920fire]

After touching a glowing blue cube, Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova found herself in this rather strange place.
"Where am I?" She asked. 
Anastasia was initially confused and looked for that cube, but it disappeared. The initial confusion turned into pure excitement.
"Oh, this will be fun to explore!" Anastasia exclaimed.

[PointMaid]

Karma is staring at the manequin strangely. Then she sniffs it. No... it smells non-sentient.

...Oh, this is not good, not good. I really don't like being behind bars. It was not a good time.

She has a low growl in her throat.

[Florien]

Don't be so quick to judge. Lucinda knows everything. Lucinda knows you're judging her. And we'll get her out once we find a replacement, because frankly, if she ever figures out how to communicate, you're all in trouble because she's all-seeing.

[TenOfSwords13]

Coelasilat seems confused.

This is odd. I've never been in a prison before... but I'm sure we'll be- wait. Did they say... casualties?

[Caret]

An Eevee wearing a blue cape walks out of Studio A grumbling to herself.

"Evoi vee veai? (TRANSLATION: One moment, I was minding my own business, and the next I'm in jail! Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! What did I do wrong? I'm just a regular ol' Eevee, y'know.)"

[Dookie]

A small girl in purple ropes and a purple hat grunts.

"Why am I here? I've saved planets, lives, and timelines! I should be on the other side of this!"

[Kennifer]

Inez looked puzzled, although given the rather interesting assortment gathered in the room she wasn't sure a mannequin was too out of place. That wasn't what puzzled her.

"Okay, I don't know what I did to get here, and..."

A slight pause.

"...how would many casualties be ending well? Just curious."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Everyone heard loud mumbling right before Lloyd comes out into the scene, observing his surroundings.

I was supposed to be in Mexico right about now, starting all over again. Away from that damn cabin. But no, back in prison again. Story of my fucking life.

He takes a look at the mannequin here.

And apparently we're locked up in a Victoria's Secret.

[Florien]

Many Casssualtiess iss ending well becausse then you'll be dead and floran will have fewer prissonerss to grant pardonss and giftss.

[PointMaid]

...Yeah, I'm not sure about that either. I don't think casualties is usually an 'ending well' thing.

Her ears are lowered and her tail is between her legs.

[Guma]

Hngh... where am I?

Nikku observes the prison and listens to Sendri's announcement. She's definitely heard of this guy, but from where, she couldn't tell you.

Ugh. If it isn't Sendnudes Frankincense. Why don't you go back to your dirt hole and photosynthesize yourself some bitches?

[TenOfSwords13]

I... see. So, our lives are all on the line, for your entertainment, and who lives, just... gets pardoned.

Coelasilat seems like he doesn't believe a word of it.

Also what's with the mannequin?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Why don't just cut out the middleman and just execute us all? Just do me first. I don't care.

Lloyd rolls up the sleeves of his jacket and exposes his arms.

Just give me a lethal injection right now. Pick an arm, I don't care which. I've already been in prison for 10 years, I'd rather die right now than to spend any more time locked away like some unruly dog.

[Zanreo]

A man wearing a light grey suit and red shirt looks around, looking increasingly annoyed.

"Hey, I dunno what you think I did, but I didn't do anything!" He doesn't sound particularily convincing.

[PointMaid]

Karma's growl intensifies. Photosynthesize some bitches... unruly dog... good dog, I forgot how speciesist people are. Stop making canineist slurs! Really.

[Florien]

Floran told you the deal with the mannequin. It'ss holding down the fort until we can get a replacement for Dr. Clef, who got sso angry his head exploded.

And yeah, jusst becausse floran CAN photossynthissize doessn't mean that'ss enough to ssusstain any floran anymore, what with brain energy conssumption. Or that floran livess in dirt. It'ss like if floran ssaid "ha you are an animal therefore you have ssix legss and live underground with an army of ssiblingss sserving your one mother who'ss five timess as big as you." Alsso, "nudess?" ew.

[Guma]

Sorry. Didn't mean you.

[Guma]

(that was to Karma)

[Dookie]

Hat Kid just shrugs.

"Hello there! What's your name?" he asks the mannequin.

> Strike conversation with the mannequin.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Geez, will you lighten up, it was just a figure of speech. Already off to a great start.

[PointMaid]

Fine, I get it...I know you probably didn't think... nobody does... Maybe I'm just sensitive.

Just keep it in mind in the future.

[Caret]

"Evoi vee! (Translation: Yeah! Just because us non-humans normally can't speak English doesn't mean you can utter slurs about us!)"

The Eevee pauses for a second.

"Vee? (Translation: Quick check. Can anyone here understand me?)"

[Kennifer]

"So a good ending for you but a bad ending for us. Gotcha."

Inez scowls.