Last Summer

[PointMaid]

...I probably need something for my hangover, then. Or at least breakfast.

Selen(ium) heads to the snack bar to root out the saltiest thing they have...

[MadameButterflyKnife]

Sharles will >play ur mom Alright, let's take this seriously.

Sharles feels the dread, but they brush it off as their usual existential dread about what they're eventually going to do with their life. Hey...I just realized. Something seems...off about some of you. Like you're fish outta water. Eh, probably nothing.

[Dookie]

“You can say that again. Some of you guys are either not human or I'm high. Am I high? Do high people know if they're high?”

[PointMaid]

...Sometimes.

[Kennifer]

of cour2e iim not human. iim a troll from alterniia.

Sollux says this as if expecting the others to know that Alternia is populated by trolls. He doesn't even look up from his game.

[Zanreo]

"Wait, only some of these games are playable? Anyway, let's go!"

After playing Galaga, she hears the others talking... "Well, I'm human... I'm from 1995 though, so I must have gone back in time somehow!"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Wingo, man! , Dale shouts after beating Donkey Kong.

Yeah, I'm very human. Probably one of the few here that is.... he says, eyeing the humans here very suspiciously, his own nature making him skeptical of their claims.

[wingedcatgirl]

"I guess we're just... casually moving past the murdergame thing, huh...

"What else could we do right now, Sylvi? There's no evidence to work with.

"There's social deduction, Ana!

"You were never any good at pure social deduction, kitty.

"... hrmph."

[PointMaid]

You're from the future? Huh. Anything cool happen? We get invaded by aliens?

...Which would explain the, um, you said you're a Troll?

[Guma]

She packed my bags last night pre-flight~
Zero hour 9 AM~
(la la la la)~
And I'm gonna be hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a kite by then . . . .~

[wingedcatgirl]

"We're from the future too," Sylvi speaks up. "A slightly future-ier future of 2021. No alien invasions, just normal human fascists."

[IsThisAPikachu]

No can-do Old Orchard! No drugs allowed here! Drugs are bad.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I'm from the future, too. 1997. And no, we haven't had any invasions. But that's why we're all here, to stop the alien threat that's about to happen!

[MadameButterflyKnife]

Let me guess, the aliens are going to "menace" us with such "horrors" such as college education and free surgeries.

[PointMaid]

Huh.

...And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh, no, no, no
I'm a rocket man
Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone

Nice, very nice.

[Kennifer]

ye2, the 2peciie2 that iinhabiit2 alterniia are known a2 troll2. iim probably not what you were expectiing ba2ed on what ii have learned of human folklore.

...he's just racking up the points and still not even looking up from the game.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Yeah, "free education" and "surgery" as they take out our human brain and replace it with something that's nothing like you and force you into thinking the overlords are the greatest there is.....

[Dookie]

Quinn noticeably is confused.

“Future? What do you mean ‘future’? Are we actually in 1992?”

He seems scared, confused, yet excited.

[Guma]

You're on thin ice, dear Selen(ium).~ Finish my songs again, and you'll be beneath it—so you had better enjoy slowly dying of hypothermia.~ Assuming you'll make it out of here, of course . . . .~

And for your information, good Bradley, I am a drug. People just can't resist me, oh no.~

[PointMaid]

What?

And that's not your song, that's an Elton John tune...

[Zanreo]

Then Yuki looks around to see... a mysterious game in the corner. "Polybius"? Whatever this was, it was like it had some kind of ominous aura about it...

[Guma]

Polybius . . . perhaps someone should play it.~ Someone who doesn't have better things to do at the moment.~

He gets back to DK Jr.

The game says he's a donkey, but clearly he's not.~ But . . . he's still real good livestock.~

[Florien]

Big Ben looks somewhat confused about the dates being talked about.

You seem to be mixing up the eight and the nine. It's 1893, not 1983.

How he's come to that conclusion despite being younger than he should have been in 1893 is unclear.

Anyway, clearly since there's this whole plan to get us to kill one another, we should make more states. Three Montanas, Turn the Arizona territory into five, no, EIGHT states, and maybe make East and West Dakota like I always wanted to. That will protect us from the crushing inevitability of pneumonia.

[KungFuCutbug]

[The intercom crackles to life again, and Stephanie's voice can be heard cackling maniacally in the background... before it suddenly stops.]

"Never call Donkey Kong Jr. that again."

[The intercom then immediately shuts off.]

[Zanreo]

"Let's see what this is all about!" Yuki went up to the Polybius cabinet, curious about what this was, and started playing...