[Game] Party to Treason

[Cassie]

Bro- do I really need to wait for the results, piggy!?

[PointMaid]

Piggy? We don't even resemble... Your powers of observation are clearly worse that I even believed. And yes, I would advise you to be patient, you overheated... whatever you are.

[Risdio51]

All Asuka does is catch the phone and throw it right back at Bandu without even acknowledging his existence.

[Florien]

Alright, CATS is chair. Ah'm gonna come out, then Ah'll make sure he ain't the rebel leader, then we'll get ya the edicts.

[Florien]

Okay, had ta get a bunch of revised edicts through. They've been altered only a lil' bit apparently, but most of y'all's rejected edicts got shredded fer some reason, so we had ta reprint these an' call them "revised". Same business still applies to them though. They've been sent ta yer presidin' member, who Ah assume knows the drill by now.

(The edict pile has been reshuffled. There are 4 loyalist edicts and 7 rebel edicts remaining in the pile.)

[Florien]

Hey, good news, CATS ain't the Rebel leader, so we all live for another day!

An Edict has been Enacted!

Edict 0106: A new tax shall be levied on ownership of titanium and gold products, equal to a quarter of market value per month. Titanium and gold products turned in to the recycling centers shall qualify the provider for a minor tax break and the end of taxes on the turned-in products.

...

This Edict supports the Loyalist Cause.


Oh thank fuck.

Alright, y'all only need two more loyalist edicts through ta get this whole situation resolved. Okay. Good. Alright. Okay. Fuck. Ah'll keep an eye out for anything that Ah'll need ya ta do ta get ya some patriot points. It'll jus' take a moment. Now think about how great yer decisions are right now, an' how that is makin' ya feel, an' then think about how ya could all lose that an' yer lives if ya let the rebel leader come ta power.

[wingedcatgirl]

"Whew. Was worried for a second there that the cyborg might turn on us, since there was only one good edict in the bunch for me to pass him. Then I remembered he knew I'd kill him if he did that."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

OK, so he's cleared...

[Zanreo]

"See, told you I can be trust!" CATS says with a grin.

[PointMaid]

Yes...

Brain looks witheringly at Bandu.

[wingedcatgirl]

"Either he's cleared or he didn't want to die, yeah," Mark says.

[MadeOfMilk]

Awwww, he didn't say the funny line! Does all our base still belong to us or what?

[Florien]

Anyway, movin' on, Ah found somethin' for y'all to do fer some patriot points. It's not so hard, Ah think, though it might require a lil' bit of creativity.

First, this tax y'all jus' installed is meant to spark a recycling campaign, but obviously, we'll need a catchy slogan. So make one.

Second, Ah'll need ya ta make sure the recycling center is functionin'. Figure out a way ta make sure employees aren't stealin' from it and catch ones who try.

Thirdly, the center will need some foundries ta melt down an' extract the good bits of metal, but Ah'll need y'all ta come up with something to do with the leftover metals we don't need so much, like iron, lead, the likes. We don't really have anything ta use them for here at the moment, but we can't really pass them ta the rest of the territories either. So figure out somethin' we can do with them here.

[MadeOfMilk]

(IASIP title card + theme) "Steve Starts a Recycling Center"

1. Okay, after uh.... numerous rejections, try this for size: "That jewelry makes your ass look big anyway". I mean come on, we all know flat asses are patriotic here, right? If the plant dude's got it, it's automatically patriotic!

2. Oh yeah, that's easy. Just have a shitload of sniper towers in the place. Sniper spots worker stealing? Boom, headshot! Chumps'll be too scared to even try!

3. Bullshit, we need that stuff! Make more munitions, baby! You never know when you need a stockpile of bullets and cannon balls! Also having more bullets helps the snipers working at the recycling center, that's neat too.

[wingedcatgirl]

Billionaire Recycler

1. Catchy Slogan
"That's an easy one," Mark says. "Recycle, or the owl will eat you. The owl, of course, represents environmental depletion or whatever scientists call it, so make sure it's painted planet colors. That's green and blue, right?"

2. Security
"Build a big scale at the entrance and weigh everyone on their way in and out. If they're more than two kilos different when they leave, search 'em. Is two kilos a good number? Run that by the engineers to make sure. Don't let anyone in or out without a weight check. This will probably make some people feel shitty about their bodies but... well, sacrifices have to be made."

3. Leftovers
"Commemorative coins! What are we commemorating? Whatever interesting thing just happened that week, or had an anniversary. The 24 1/2th anniversary of Sendri making a cool thing! Stuff like that. It's a big Alliance, there's always gonna be something.

"Then, of course, you can auction them off as unique and valuable collector's items to suckers who don't realize something can't increase in value forever just for being unique. Like NFTs, but without burning down forests to make them. Or at least not as many forests."

Mark quickly scribbles out the finalized versions of these plans and hands them over.

[Florien]

Alright, yer plans so far. We'll start with Steve, because first come first served, Ah guess.

...do ya need me ta contradict ya on a thing fer ya to not immediately believe the first thing that comes inta yer head? Jus' askin'. Not related ta anything here in this plan. Anyway, the slogan's nice. Shame the people. Though titanium ain't much of a jewelry thing. An okay slogan. Sniper towers are an okay idea. Though it does trust that the person in charge ain't a clever kleptocrat who jus' has the snipers shoot people who aren't givin' out a cut. Which, let's be honest, ya either need ta be that or completely loyal ta stay around long in power. But a lot of snipers will ruin the gains, so the "many snipers" is a good idea. Jus' the problem of detectin' subtle theft left really. An' makin' munitions. Well, we need more than metal, but that's a good idea, if we had a munitions plant. Ah'll have ta see if there's a way ta get that greenlit.

Alright, Mark, ya've been doin' REALLY well so far, let's see what's goin' on here an'... Please explain what the fuck an owl is? Like, Ah get the idea of a mascot, but could ya pick somethin' that Ah've at the very least seen before? But Ah really do do like the threat, an' the idea ta have a colorful an' highly metaphorical mascot! We'll send that through the writer division, see if we can't get some native fauna that someone knows instead of an "owl". As for the scale idea, that's nice, but that seems a lil' high in allowance of difference. that's what, a good chunk of gold right there, an' quite a bit of titanium. Ah'll have it adjusted way down. Anyway, HOLY SHIT Ah love the coins idea. It's great. Tell people they're super collectable an' may be worth somethin' in arbitrage an' may appreciate, but never add a state value ta them? Fuck yeah. Hell, we can post ads on our networks. If the corporate fascists a couple systems over can do that on their news breaks, we can do it too, an' we'll do it better, because we're not sittin' around whinin' about our labor force bein' the wrong kinds of people an' shootin' people for lookin' different while we avoid feedin' people too much.

[Kennifer]

Eriplan

1) lets go with somethin simple like
recycle or die
and make up big motivvational posters showwin someone gettin shot in the head for litterin instead of puttin the metal in the recyclin bin
i mean its wwhat id wwant to do back home wwhen i see the filthy landdwwellers throwwin all their bottles and shit in the ocean anywway

2) get some big burly guards at the centers and havve them frisk evverybody on the wway out and shoot anybody wwhos got anythin they aint sposed to havve
do a loyalty screenin and shit before hirin them so you knoww theyre on the right side and shoot them if they mess up

3) howw about meltin dowwn that scrap metal and makin a glorious statue of sendri at least wwith the first batch
make smaller statues out a future batches like trophies or somethin and people can buy them and display them to provve their loyalty and shit

[PointMaid]

The Mice's Master Plan to Take Over the Recycling World!

Ah. A recycling campaign, Pinky. How… wholesome.

[*Pinky just stands there smiling with a twinkle in his eye*]

Please let me handle this, Pinky. You remember how last time your 'literary passage' did not have the required depth.

:(

1. A slogan. Yes. Must be something snappy. Catchy. Soundbite-worthy. I think I have just the thing. "Recycle it or we'll recycle you." Show images of people being made into plant food. The more yelling, and blood, the better. And for the space colonies. Recycling people out the airlock as well. Get it, re-cycling, the airlock cycles…

What about a person getting run over by a bi-cycle, Brain?

...I suppose we can include that, too. Puns do tend to stick in the brain. And a bicycle is environmentally friendly, which we're trying to encourage. Tie-ins, Pinky, tie-ins.

2. Yes, perfidious employees. I think all you need to do is make one single entrance/exit, camera tracking of employees at all time within the facility, with anyone leaving going through one of those body-scan machines they have at airports. And subject to strip-search if the scan is not clean. The only reason I'm not defaulting to strip search is for the sake of time. ...And make sure the guards doing the scanning are well-vetted and better than those losers at the airports. Speaking of that, no personal bags inside and no leaving with bags unless they're searched. Bags are places to stash stolen goods. Recycled materials leaving the plant are to be weighed and re-weighed when received to ensure nothing is removed that way. ...If you think any of this is too expensive, well, let me know what you think we should cut. If it stops pilfering of valuable metals and such, though, it should pay for itself.

3. Indeed, leftover metals. Iron, lead and the like. I should think you can easily make them into hand weights and dumbbells, no problem. Nothing intricate there and mostly requires the metal. Then promote them as patriotic fitness. A healthy mind in a healthy body, as the corporation ASICS was named for. Very patriotic, keeping yourself healthy for the Alliance. Low need for unnecessary healthcare usage and all that, ready to fight.

[Florien]

Okay, Eridan's submitted his, let's... okay. Recycle or Die seems alright, Ah guess. Shootin' someone over litterin' isn't the issue here, the issue here is that people have titanium an' gold an' we want titanium an' gold. People ain't exactly throwin' jewelry on the sidewalk. Frisk checks seem like a good idea. At the very least, people would need ta use body cavities. Though doin' loyalty screenin' an' shootin' anyone who messes up seems like a good way ta go beyond the one in twenty rule. So we'll... reevaluate that level of severity. A statue though? Ah suppose that's a decent idea. An' extra into medals. We could always use another statue since Sendri decided ta stop bein' the silent dictator an' move more to a cult of personality mode over the past couple years. Good, good.

Pinky an' the Brain. Mostly The Brain. Anyway, uhh... metaphors, intimidation, repeated words an' some suggestions, REALLY good slogan. Most of the security measures seem good, except the one entrance and exit thing seems like it might make it difficult to get things in an' out of the plant for recycling an' transport, though makin' sure there's smugglin' checks before an' after ta find the point-source of smugglin' is a great idea. An' startin' a fitness campaign, GREAT idea! Ah like that idea a lot, really good. An' it gives us a use for all the low quality metal too, all it needs ta do is hold a stamp. Really good.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

George's self-proclaimed "brilliant" plan

First, a catchy slogan. You know what's catchy? Rhymes. Like this: Don't just throw away your useless gold. Put it in the recycling hold. Don't forget that old titanum. Recycle it, use your cranium. Be sure to recycle today, or we'll kill you and you will decay.

Secondly, what we need to do is make sure we spray it with a long-lasting red paint. Obviously keep it away from the parts that don't can't have paint on it otherwise it will break down. But keep it nice and wet, so no one will touch it. And if they do, they will be caught red-handed, literally. And they can be dealt a swift punishment as needed.

And the metal, we could use that for the ships. Use it to make more armor plating for the ships used in the Space Force, and even have it handy for repairs. The material can be used and added on to other material to make it workable.

[Florien]

Alright, jus' in case y'all can't be bothered ta get yer shit together, Ah'm gonna check George's plan out.

Uhh... Slogan is nice, rhyming is good, but it's kinda long. Gonna have ta break it up fer circulation. The paint idea is interestin', but uhh... Won't workers handlin' the scrap to process it also get paint marks? Seems like a bit of a gap. An' armor platin' is kinda a good idea... Though Ah don't think it's a great idea ta use in space. High-speed collisions an' space combat tend ta kinda ignore classic armor. So anyway, Ah'm gonna use it fer public enforcer car armor. Won't do great at that either, but it'll be better. Okay plan overall, Ah guess.

[Risdio51]

"Slogans! Easy! 'Wir zermalmen Metall, wie wir Seelen zermalmen'. We crush metal as we crush soul, in your feeble English language."

"Finding out who's stealing? Fit every single entrance with a metal detector, like the ones in airports before the Second Impact. That'll work for metallic objects, but what about non metal, you may ask? Well, just double down on guards and security cameras, absolutely EVERYWHERE! Including the bathrooms!"

"Now, what to do with the spare metal...? Ah, I know! How about making mass production Evangelion units? We would be UNSTOPPABLE WITH THEM!"

[Cassie]

1. Slogan, um...uh...Oh! I know! "Recycle! Respect the cycles of the world, and the world will respect your cycles!"
   
2. Uh, like, set up things inside the security cameras in the facility that'll detect anyone making funny movements implying they wanna steal the stuff and send signals that'll make their head hurt just long enough to make them forget to steal stuff!
   
3. Uh turn them into Alliance-based keychains and shit!
   

[Florien]

Alright! Two more in. Asuka first...

Holy shit are ya tryin' ta go down fer treason? The Alliance categorically CANNOT be callin' itself a miserable hellscape. Threats are fine, but implyin' things are miserable always even if ya DO comply, that's where issues start. But yer idea of metal detectors real good. Ah'll definitely add that ta the list of things we can do. Buildin' giant mechs out of scrap iron an' lead seems a bit... excessive. Giant mechs are fun, but real unstable-like in most environments. Square-cube, an' all. More boxy, short minin' mechs are generally what we modify, when we're not jus' bombin' or Ell-Arr-arrin' our ground-based enemies. But Ah'll take the good part of that idea an' use them ta build up our modification industry... though we don't have much of one here, so we'll have ta ship these things out.

An'... Bandu. Let's see... Yer slogan is alright, but the endin' is a lil' bit... uhh... can't really describe it. Like it needs further explanation. We can tweak an' reword it a bit, but Ah think the issue is that Ah'm not entirely sure what a person's "cycles" are, or what it would look like if the world either respected or didn't respect them. It's an interestin' idea though. Eyes on the workers is obviously a good idea, an' we're definitely doin' that, an' disruptin' work with noises is an okay idea. It'll decrease overall productivity, but it'll get more loyal people annoyed at the thieves. Only problem is the system might interpret normal movements as somethin' ta set off an alarm over. Automatic systems do that a lot. Keychains though, that's an interestin' idea. Keychains are a huge symbol of status, what with sayin' ya have all these places yer allowed ta go, an' makin' cheap ones? They'll sell well, Ah think.

Jus' waitin' on CATS an' Monaca Ah think.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

1. "Recycling: A cycle of Eternal Loyalty!"

Think about it! Recycling makes even the smallest scraps valuable contributors to the Alliance's cause!

2. ... Let's see... How about give bracelets to the workers attached to their uniforms... And their clothes pockets with metal detectors... and just to make sure... their bracelets have cameras! Oh, and set up a very super duper hidden security room for all of these systems... just in case. No one will ever know these security systems exist! After all... the best systems of security... are the ones that hide in plain sight!

3. Turn the scraps into lock-picking picks! Innocuous enough to be hidden... and perfect for accessing locked areas!