[Game] Party to Treason

[PointMaid]

Pinky and Brain examine theirs. It's a considerable size in relation to them. Brain smells, then cautiously licks his. His ears prick up. Pinky is not so cautious. He swallows his whole, ears pricking up as well and a goofy grin on his face. You can see the large lump of the candy in his stomach. He starts hopping and zooming around like a mad mouse.

[Kennifer]

Eridan also eats the candy.

...you're all just lucky he doesn't end up going TRICKSTER MODE or something.

[Cassie]

Anyway looking at what you're aiming some of you chose Mickey. Now I may not be a fan of Disney but I know better to put bias aside and since he looks like someone who knows their powers I'm choosing him.

[Kennifer]

wwell lets just hope this mickey guy knowws wwhat hes doin wwhen it comes to pickin an edict

[Florien]

Ah think that's a good enough option. One vote for Mickey, he already expressed his support for himself, so that's two, so Y'all jus' need three more to confirm Mickey, or five "no"s to reject him. Ah think y'all'll make the right choice. Y'all won't screw this up. Yeah, things are gonna be fine. They're gonna be fine. They have ta be fine.

Mickey has been nominated, 2 for, zero against.

[PointMaid]

Yes, we support the cartoon mouse.

...Brain?

Yes, Pinky. I'm aware.

/vote Mickey

[Zanreo]

"Ah, sure. Could be the good as any other..."

/vote Mickey

[Zanreo]

CATS also cautiously examines the candy, before eating it.

"Woah! This really... where have gotten this thing? It's delicious! Where can get more?

[Florien]

Uhh... one, two, three, CATS has patriot points, so five... that'll do it, y'all. Welcome yer new chair, Michael Ratt. Mouse. Mitchel Mouse? Whatever, welcome them or Ah shoot y'all. Edicts should be delivered shortly through, an' we can get ta makin' the town an' by extension the universe a better place, more thoroughly in Director Pilotslicense's expert control. Now, uhh... yeah, that's about it. See ya when y'all enact somethin' nice.

[Cassie]

[whoops i fucking, broke a rule, void this post]

[Florien]

Edict 139-5-B has been issued...

Patriotic Music bumpers for media are being replaced with trivia and tips bumpers...

That was a Loyalist Edict!

Lanthanide calls in, clearly happy with your choices. 

There we go, it ain't so hard to get th' right things done, is it? Now, Ah'm jus' gonna need y'all ta pat yerself on the back, an' Ah'll get a lil' work together for y'all ta help with ta get this off the ground proper an' fast.

[Cassie]

F U C K Y E A H- Oh, get more fast candies? Just ask me! ALWAYS AVAILABLE!

Bandu spins his phones whilst doing a little dance.

[Florien]

Alrighty. Here's the job yer gonna have to do to get this edict off the ground an' runnin'. It's not too hard, jus' a bit of a writin' exercise. So, here's yer prompts.

First, Ah'll need two "true facts" about Sendri.

Lanthanide does airquotes when she says "true facts".

They have to be almost believable, but still significantly above normal levels. A historic example of somethin' like that might be from that old place on earth, Korea or wherever, where one of the Kims was said to have only played golf once because he found it so easy that he got fifteen holes in one on his first try. So come up with two facts like that.

Second, Ah'll need two patriotic tips. Like "To honor the sacrifice of our brave soldiers, fly the flag of our people outside yer house, an' keep a light on it if it stays out at night." You know, weird rituals like that, to get a nice cult of patriotism to go with the cult of personality.

Anyway, Ah look forwards ta hearin' yer ideas for true facts an' patriotism activities. The best ones'll be in the first bumpers. Have fun writin' them!

[Cassie]

Two facts, two tips. Guaranteed, mine will spread instantly, because I got phones, phones, PHONES! I date one for a reason.

WHY MUST WE WRITE-

Two True Facts About Sendri

#1: Wanna know where Sendri got their surname? Yo? They took down an entire FUCKING SQUADRON of drone planes right at the last day of their aviation training! Those Moldy bitches started fucking up the airspace they were training in, forcing them to immediately put what they've learned to use! HOLY SHIT, did they take pride in what they achieved so much they put the pilot license right onto their name!

#2: Sendri's stick? Lemme tell ya - it was originally just a stick like any other. It was from that one time it saved them from a fucking fire by stabbing the fire right at them until they're dead. Like y'know - Fry from Futurama when he drank his 100th coffee cup. Then they saw uses in such a stick and made a weapon inside. SO. FUCKING. COOL. ISN'T IT!?

Two Patriotic Tips

#1: Paint a small flag of our people by your mirrors or windows, then take a picture with whatever devices you have, print it, frame it, then you can wipe off the flag on the mirror and delete the pic in your device. Do it monthly, and be sure to replace the picture frame each time you do it. Mirror's got reflection symbolism and all, and the effort to get the flag in the mirror framed symbolises hard work, believe me.

#2: Yearly, the schools must do a theater act reenacting what we're doing right now. ALL OF IT! Moldy rebels included! They can go their own way, but in all other cases it has to replicate WHAT WE'RE ALL DOING RIGHT NOW as a proper display of...things. Be sure to always rig it so that us good citizens ALWAYS WIN! ALWAYS! That's proper, after all!

[PointMaid]

Pinky and Brain's Response:

...Two true facts about Sendri, hmm? And two patriotic tips?


Alright, then. Let me tell you about Sendri.
When they were working their way up the Alliance ranks, they singlehandedly brought a planet into the Alliance. Just by saying a single sentence. That sentence? "Grow with us."
And they were once shot down over a non-Alliance territory and lost some of their limbs. But they grew them back by sheer force of will.

Oh, Brain! Can I tell them the Patriotic Tips?

...Fine, Pinky. Your… enthusiasm… I think suits this well enough.

Oh! I think that's the nicest things you've ever said about me, Brain! Ahem. Let's see... 
Always remember to brush behind your ears. And in your ears. "A patriotic person is clean in word and deed". And if you can't hear the announcements, you can't rush to do what the Alliance needs you to do to be a good little worker, ha ha!  
And "loose lips sink ships", so always sew your mouths shut if you're on an Alliance Starship! Narf! Like this! [Pinky demonstrates]

...I think that's enough, Pinky. [Brain grabs the needle and thread away from Pinky's paws] And that's it, folks! Tune in again to hear all the Alliance propaganda from me, The Brain!

[Struggling to speak] An miiiii Pinkeeee! 

[Kennifer]

After thinking these things through for a while, Eridan comes up with... this.

FUN SENDRI FACTS!

wwell first sendris a really great hunter wwhose able to oneshot any kind a prey
evven blindfolded and wwith one hand tied behind their back because theyre just that good and their wweapons are just that legendary

second did you hear about the time they staged a wwhole big revvolution and killed a bunch a people includin the leader of a country all ovver bein made to wwear a silly hat
because noww you havve and it wwas amazin

FUN PATRIOTIC ACTIVITIES!

first up wwe ought to havve some sort a pledge wwe make evverybody say evvery mornin to swwear their loyalty and allegiance
this wwill get evverybody on the same page and wweed out the traitors wwho refuse to say it

second wwe wwill havve a day wwhen evverybody does some kind a team building activvity like pickin up the trash on the beaches or somethin useful none a this dumb trust fall shit
itll get evverybody wworkin together and thinkin about loyalty and itll make evverythin look all neat and clean and evverythin too

[Florien]

Ah like y'all's ideas so far. 

Bandu, yer true Sendri Facts an' first Patriotic tip are good, Ah especially like the elaborate flag ritual, but Ah don't know about the fourth. That'll require declassifyin' what we're doin' right now, an' also doesn't seem like somethin' that could fit in a bumper.

Pinky an' Brain, y'all have good Sendri Facts too. War stories are good, an' bein' an amazing diplomat while doin' that? That's great. The encouragement to frequently bathe to hear the command, that's great too. Though uh... the last one might run into a couple problems. Because first, not everyone has lips to sew shut. (She waves her hand at her face, or lack thereof) An' also HOLY FUCK THAT'S FUCKED UP. An' not in a good way.

Eridan, yer facts are good. They really elevate Sendri's leadership skills as well as their individual combat skills. We already have a pledge of allegiance, but it's probably good ta remind people ta say it often. An' of course, a day of cleansin' is probably a good idea. Patriotic labor to serve the country. Voluntary, but also, ya know, totally mandatory.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Well, let's see. Two facts about Sendri.... I got it! The first one would be back in their early military career, Sendri was flying in enemy territory when they got shot down and crashed. They were taken in as a prisoner of war and suffered all kinds of torture. But it wasn't enough to break Sendri! Oh no! Sendri managed to stay determined as they managed to be resourceful and fight their way through the prison and managed to make an epic escape. Imagine John Rambo outsmarting the ones who are watching him and then finding the big guns and fighting his way out and you'd get the idea of how Sendri managed to escape. And fact number two, hmmm. Maybe we could also mention how Sendri managed to become an ace pilot during their military time. And became so notable, they manage to invent aerial combat techniques. They are so innovative, the air military trainers still show newer pilots these to this day. And future pilots are compared to Sendri. How their skills compare to the one who wrote all the rules to begin with. Now that's quite a milestone.

And tips? Well, maybe we can spread this philosophy. "Ask not what the Alliance can do for you, but what you can do for the Alliance". Bring out several ideas to bestow upon the citizens on how they can take pride in being in the Alliance and how they can strengthen it or even be more patriotic. And also, we can test certain people for their loyalty and see how they fare. How much they're all willing to die for it. Reward the ones whose allegiance are very strong. And for those who are weak.... well, I'll leave that up to you on how to deal with them.

[Cassie]

Bandu has apparently flipped a table trying to steer his eyes away from what Pinky did to his mouth.

WHAAAAAAAT THE FUCK THAT'D GET ME BANNED FROM DISCORD IF I DO THAT-

what the fuck is he talking

[Florien]

George, yer facts are a lil' bit... same-y. Military skill is all well an' good, but bein' impressive even in day-to-day life is also important. An' the gettin' captured implies fallibility. Gettin' shot down, that can be saboteurs, but captured is... nah. Ah'm gonna change that to "broke into a prison and broke out again." The second one is great though. The patriotism tips are good, the simple, thought terminatin' cliche of "ask not what yer country can do for ya but what ya can do for it", that's a good one. Ah fail ta see how we can test people's loyalty an' patriotism through a simple bumper though, in ways other than trackin' when they mute an' stop their broadcast signals, which we already do. The idea for more loyalty tests is admirable though. Solid seven out of ten suggestions though.

[Risdio51]

"Falsifying history? I can do that! First off, our great and beautiful country was visited several times by Beethoven himself! It's said that one of his unfinished symphonies was inspired by his time here! Second of all, remember that old movie with that Bruce guy? I think he got a chainsaw hand in it? That ancient, horrid magical power in the Necronomicon actually comes straight from here! So you better be scared of us!"

"Patriotism? Ausgezeichnet! I can do that all day! First off, every fireplace needs to have our flag hanging above it. When you feel it's time to put the fire out, the last fuel you use is that same flag. It's…respectful to our country! Or…something. Second, any scrap metal you find from the war or before then should be checked with a veteran to authenticate it and have them bless it as such. It lets them remove the burden of the people they killed by letting the equipment be put to good use for not killing! I think that made sense…"

[Florien]

Uhh... Asuka, yeah, that's... great, yeah. Ah didn't ask for general facts, Ah asked for Sendri facts. They're okay facts, don't get me wrong, though uhh... the first does blow right past "maybe kinda plausible if yer not so sure about how things work" to "nah impossible" due to Beet-Oven bein' dead before space travel an' all. The second is good though. Ah'll jus' cut out the movie reference, an' make it sound more patriotic, because these are for the people's consumption, not really for outsider consumption. The flag burnin'. That's...

Lanthanide types something on her keyboard.

Ain't... lookin' to be immediately treasonous actually. Huh. We should fix that. Thanks for bringin' that to mah attention. Oh, an' the scrap metal blessin' idea seems like a good way to hold up scrap-processing, if'n people listen to the tip, so... yeah.

[Cassie]

Bandu floats and starts staring susly at Asuka for this treasonous(?) bullshit.

Are you sus? Clearly from what the Lanthanide gal said it looks like you wrote this one up as a 3AM challenge. Which...I don't recommend as someone who does such challenges regularly.

Judgementally, phones circle around Asuka.

[Huney]

"I've been up this WHOLE TIME!!"

Magane is a hard worker, you silly stupid little bitch! This whole time she's been cracking away at her corpses!

Just that she's been asleep while doing it is all.

"So lessee... facts and tips! Pshhhh, easyyyyy, here ya go!"

Magane immediately hands over a filled out form. Was this done in advance...?

Two True Facts About Sendri

• Did you know that our great leader, once upon a time, drove a species of dolphin to extinction? You see, these dolphins were violent murderers species-wide, and revealed their new plans to kill the planet so they have more room to be dolphins. In response, Sendri killed them all and saved the world! The process took two days.
  
• Sendri actually invented the toothbrush. You see, before their time, you had to brush your teeth with a hedgehog! Had to grab a wild one every day to run along your teeth. A frustrated Sendri eventually realized that you can just take the quills from a hedgehog, put it on a brush, and just use that instead! "But don't toothbrushes use synthetic plastic for their hairs?" Interesting question. And the answer is no!
  

Two Tips You Can Use To Serve Your Great Nation!

• Only eat meat on Fridays. This is to give the hard working vegetation of the country a day off! They then use this new time to relax and grow even better, which in turn makes the plants in your home better. But more importantly, it makes the plants in the great government better. And who cares what a dumb cow thinks anyway?! Their fault for being made of meat.
  
• Collect the corpses of any bugs you see. Bugs are the greatest litterer the world knows. Selfishly dying, millions a day. Be responsible and clean up after their irresponsible choice of death location. Also be sure to ship the bugs you find to the enemies of our nation! That way they're littering that country instead of ours.
  

"I actually suggest the idea of a Bug Collection Day for that last one. Just one day outta the year to get as many bugs as you can find. Great for morale, I think!"

[PointMaid]

[ Brain is taking notes ]