Castle of Beasts: An NME Murdergame

[Guma]

Signups / OOC

The lights in Vane Castle were turned off. A regal voice spoke.

Welcome, all. I knew you would be here in due time. Why not sit down, make yourselves comfortable, and maybe have a spot of jade tea? You must feel you deserve it. After all, the NME Hunters’ Organization is massively in your debt.

All of you who stand before me are human. Not necessarily in form, but in spirit. The etymology of the word “human” is simply “Earthly being”. But Natural Monster Entities, or NMEs, are beyond Earth. They are powerful and complelling beings whom you at the Organization have much to learn from.

12 of you truly have sided with the Organization, but 4 are on my side. You know who you are, and you know your job. As for everyone else, try to find and snuff out your killers, but see if it will still be a victory for you, considering they have read your fine print as well. Either way, you will face low-ranking members of my personal army along the way, but you will receive handsome rewards for overcoming them. I have sealed the gate so that you may not escape and no one may come in.

I've seen many people question me. Don't be like them. Not only because I am the King, but also because murder is in the blood of each and every one of us. I guess what I'm trying to say is . . . .

The lights shot on.

(Thanks again to my sister!)

You're in my kingdom now.

[Huney]

A man of indeterminate age looks around the place, especially eyeing the dragon. Hm, the bad news is, he doesn't quite know what he's talking about... The good news is, he looks generated from the best Silicon Graphics computers in the land. He gets up on his feet, looking to the dragon.

"a"

[MadeOfMilk]

A man in a tracksuit, ushanka, sunglasses and balaclava is Slav squatting as he listens to the spiel.

WELL GOOD THING I BROUGHT... UH...

He reaches into his track suit pocket, only to find a bay leaf.

BLYAT! I KNOW KALASHNIKOV IS HERE SOMEWHERE!

[KungFuCutbug]

[In the far distance, a bell chimes. A figure slowly rises from its spot on the floor, diminutive in stature, with wide eyes and an ear-to-ear grin that can be seen even in the shadows. It takes a deep breath in, and announces with all the gusto it can muster...]

“IT IS THE SPOOKY MONTH!”

[The figure—now clearly just a child in a skeleton costume—skitters over to a nearby pumpkin-headed person still sitting nearby and lightly conks him on the head.] “Ayyy!”

[The pumpkinhead springs to his feet immediately, also grinning at the sight of his companion.] “Ayyy!”

[They stare at each other silently for a moment, dorky smiles adorning their faces. Then, the skeleton speaks.] “Let's go find the others!” [As soon as he finishes speaking, he climbs onto his friend's head, and the two of them noisily tumble over to wherever the gopnik and the other man are.]

[madface7]

A German man in a lab coat is lying down on a small patient's chair, reading a clipboard.

 He stands up and looks around."Vhere... exactly... am I?" He tries to assess the situation around him while adjusting his glasses.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o81nbG2Xihk&t

^ This music plays as a big, bulky man with sunglasses, a police uniform and a nightclub runs into the area. He slaps the night club against his hand before holstering his club and takes off his sunglasses.

Where am I at?

[madface7]

The Medic eyes the new man who enters the room and scribbles something on his clipboard."Ooh, he seems like a good pocket..." he whispered.

[Kennifer]

The young Alternian troll glanced around at her surroundings. A dragon, huh? Her teammate Terezi would love this! Too bad Terezi might not be speaking to her at the moment, and Vriska wouldn't be able to reach the other troll even if she was. But whatever. She'd hear allllllll about it later, and she'd be so jealous!

But first things first. She'd heard something about killing. No big deal. She'd killed all the different sorts of beasts in FLARP. All of them. You don't get all the levels in a tough class like Petticoat Seagrift without being able to do some serious damage. And rewards? Even better! A little something to add to her vast LOOT STRONGHOLDS.

This should 8e verrrrrrrry interesting!

Vriska, for one, was looking forward to getting started.

[Dookie]

A tween with green hair gets up.


“Huh...I'm in medieval times.”

[Mackie]

For a moment, Jessie thought she was still in The Oldest House. Corridors often shifted around, elevators and stairwells appearing when it was convenient to the House and disappearing moments later. Hell -- the guys in Containment said there'd be hell to pay next time the bathrooms decide to disappear. It took months of pleading with the Board until a compromise was reached, and that was bathroom privileges on Tuesdays.

The major thing that gave it away was the fact she didn't recognize any of the people in the room with her. A Director should know her employees after all, and everyone seemed as lost as she was.

IN PRISMS THERE ARE STILL UNKNOWNS. THE HOUSE DOES NOT CONTROL INFINITE PERIPHERIES. OBFUSCATE THE TRUE POWER.

Whatever she was, Jesse figured, it was outside the House. And Polaris did not like it. Her hand went to her holster just for a moment -- then she eased off it. She didn't hear the crowded static of danger in her head, so wherever she was she wasn't being stalked by the thing infecting the House. 

Where the hell is this place? If Darling is playing another prank on me, I'll make him pay.

[Huney]

"This is quite the interesting and colorful cast of characters!" The man says, suddenly full of energy. "I can't wait for this wacky adventure."

[wahoothis]

A black and white rabbit-dog-cat looking thing laid rested against one of the walls, dressed entirely in blue with a large zipper on his coat. Resting on his head was a blue cap with the gaming icon Pacman eating a pellet. Beside the "cabbit" is a ring with a green jewel on it, glowing faintly. "Ah. . ." A deep yawn escaped Klonoa's eyes as he woke up, rubbing his sleepy eyes. "Morning. . . already?" The dream traveler looked around the place completely confused. This wasn't his bedroom. It looked like some kind of castle set in the medieval age. How peculiar. . . Is this another dream world? That's the only explanation Klonoa could come up with. He got on his red shoes and looked around. "Hello? Anyone here?" He'd call out for someone, hoping for a response in return.

[Kennifer]

Yeah!!!!!!!! This is gonna 8e gr8, I can tell already!

Vriska was always up for a challenge or adventure, after all.

[KungFuCutbug]

[Skid and Pump catch sight of Klonoa and start waving.] “Hiii!!”

“Do you know where we are?”

“The dragon said we were in his kingdom!”

“But we don't know where his kingdom is!”

“Do you?”

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I don't know which side of the law any on you are all on, but if you all do anything bad to the innocents, the man says as he unholsters his nightstick, I'll make sure y'all will serve HARD TIME!!!, he says the last two words as he slams his nightstick against his left hand as he firmly grasps it before holstering it back.

[Huney]

"Oh, hello officer. Here's my ID." The man gives him a completely emtpy wallet.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

The officer looks at the man's empty wallet.

Uh, sir. Did the perp take your stuff or somethin'? You got nothin' in there.

[wahoothis]

As Klonoa walked through the castle area, he'd hear the sounds of not one, but two voices beckoning him. The hat wearing hero turns to see two people. Both boys, one wearing a skeleton outfit and the other wearing a pumpkin on his head. Pretty unusual, but Klonoa's met weirder people in the past. "No. I'm afraid I don't. I just woke up here." With a smile, Klonoa extends his yellow gloved hand to Skid and Pump. "My name's Klonoa. What about you two?"

[Huney]

"Hm?" He looks into the wallet, gasping in surprise. "Oh no! How am I going to get the Disney and Square Enix crossover Kingdom Hearts 2?!"

[Guma]

A Heliron—a lanky heron-like NME—propelled downward. She spoke up.

Greetings, guests! Welcome to the Kingdom of Vane! My name is Robinette, and I am King Doraco's personal shopkeeper. At least . . . I used to be. Now I travel all across the kingdom for NME needs. Humans, they have lots of markets, but NMEs have only me. So yeah, it was a surprise that the King appointed me for his little killing game. Find me at the marketplace to the east! You can buy cool items and increase your Stats!



She fluttered to her position at the market.

[Mackie]

Upon the officer searching the other man's wallet, Jessie took hers out of her back pocket. She was a government employee for Christ sakes. She was just at work less than twenty minutes ago, before whatever power that be decided she would be magically transported to some fairytale castle. The previous contents -- her driver's license, credit cards, Metro card, $45 cash, government ID, coupon for a free McDouble -- all gone. Even the scratched-up school photo of her brother, a messy mop of brown hair and a gap-toothed grin at the camera, was missing. At least she still had her Service Weapon strapped to her hip, buzzing with energy that wasn't quite from either world.

What the hell is going on here? I go to take my lunch in my office, and I end up in a medieval fucking castle?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Sir, you have any idea who took your stuff? Give me a positive ID and I'll handcuff him and beat him up with my stick till I get your stuff back. And I'll make sure he goes behind bars and serve hard time!

[KungFuCutbug]

[Skid reaches over Pump's head to shake Klonoa's hand.] “I'm Skid!”

[Pump, meanwhile, just waves again, seeing as his friend already has the handshake covered.] “I'm Pump!”

“Nice to meetcha, Klonoa!” [they call out in unison.]

[GoldenCityBird]

probably in the throne room? I don't know where you're all at

A well-dressed, middle-aged Asian man joins everyone else. "Good Heavens! This is clearly no place for children. But, I do see that we have an officer of the law here. Good day to you all. My name is Nigel Braithwaithe."

[wahoothis]

Klonoa's ears perk up hearing the one called Robinette. Given those large rabbit ears, he was able to hear everything she said. Kingdom of Vale? Shopkeeper? NME? So many confusing words and terms were used, but one of them stuck out to him like a sore thumb. Killing Game? Whatever that is, it didn't sound good. It has the word 'killing' in it after all. The Dream Traveler took a deep breath and stood there silently, thinking to himself. This has to be another dream world, right? If so, then that could mean this world is in trouble. That must mean he's been summoned to save it. That's the theory Klonoa's going with. Either that, or he somehow time traveled to the past. But that's silly. Time travel doesn't exist!

As Klonoa kept these theories in thought, he was nearly derailed from it by Skid's shaking. "Do any of you know where we are or why we're here? I'm thinking this could be another dream world, but this doesn't really look like any dream world I've been in." Klonoa said scratching the back of his head once Skid stopped shaking his hand.