The Magical Vending Machine

[josh6243]

You get a zombified Despair's Archon of Memes.

I insert Goemon Ishikawa.

[TenOfSwords13]

You receive some Miso Soup.

I insert a D20

[NoahStratos]

You get a barrel full of caltrops and d4s.

I insert the mellohi music disc.

[josh6243]

You get an improperly lit cave.

I insert a stack of shitposts.

[Cassie]

The machine's locked now, doofus.

I insert a bunch of pizzas, 1 pineapple, and 35 kilograms of white chocolate.

[PointMaid]

You get a pineapple pizza and a humongous white chocolate pineapple.

I insert an alarm clock.

[Oggy123]

You get a digital clock.

I insert a duck.

[josh6243]

You get a goose.

I insert SCP-105's polaroid camera.

[NoahStratos]

You get a Thompson sub-machine gun and an iris flower.

I insert a keg of alcohol and a goat's corpse.

[Cassie]

You get some grog, diluted with goat's blood.

I insert some urine from someone else, poured from a test beaker.

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

You get poop in an old cardboard box.



I insert a drop of lava.

[josh6243]

You get a block of obsidian.

I insert a sous-vide machine.

[MadeOfMilk]

You get a steak that's... weirdly plated all fancy like in your average sous-vide cooker ad.

I insert a memory foam pillow.

[NoahStratos]

You get a burlap sack filled with stones.

I insert a Sony Walkman playing Usada Pekora's laugh.

[ArmoredFury]

You receive a Motorola pager displaying "pain peko".

I insert a block of lead.

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

You get a broken pencil.




I insert a math textbook.

[NoahStratos]

You get a TI-84 CE+ and a red apple.

I insert a lemon lollipop and a MP7 sub-machine gun.

[JKBenbot]

The lollipop goes missing but hey you got a cool skin for your gun.


I insert the ocean.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

You get Waterworld.

I insert a piano.

[NoahStratos]

You get a harpsichord.

I insert 5,000 Mora and a telescope with the word "Paimon6" etched onto it with razor sharp clawnails.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

...Mona? What are YOU doing here? You didn't even... Nevermind.

I Pull the totally-there-all-along-for-some-reason Lever and try my luck...

[josh6243]

You got a crapton of Genshin Impact related PNGs and JPGs.

I insert Garou: Mark of the Wolves.

[NoahStratos]

The vending machine unleashes a Power Geyser on you, sending you to the skies.

I insert five Bananarangs.

[Cassie]

You get five Batarangs.

I pour some water into the machine.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Well... Shit. The machine's now malfunctioning, spewing out stuff everywhere. At least you got your bottled water... I guess.

Oh look, a keyboard and computer screen pops out of the sides... Maybe rebooting the vending machine will fix things... Oh, and I toss in a dollar coin into the machine just to be sure...