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POKÉMON 2.B.A. MURDERER ~ A Poké-Murdergame
"Don't be dense, Sabine, it has everything to do with this. If we're in Unova, that means we're not in Kanto. Duh."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
For now, due to the lack of concrete undigested evidence, Mawile will also:

/vote abstain
Stupid doomed timeline...
Do you think you're funny? Because you're not.
"Where are we?"
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
“Okay, wow, wow, that's way more than enough votes t’ have a majority. Abstainin’ it is, then.” [He shrugs, a look of defeated resignation on his. No chance for brutal executions today, it seems...]
SYMPTOMATIC
THIS DISEASE
SO DRAMATIC
PANIC AUTOMATICALLY
[Kye looks visibly frustrated at Doober's bullshit.]

"...excuse me, host. Can I dope-slap that Bidoof?"
silver dollar, black smoke in my eyes
shattered glass, fallen fast, leave me paralysed
That was it. That was her limit.

WIR SIND IN EINALL, DU BRAINDEAD CAPYBARA! KÖNNEN SIE SICH DIE MÜHE MACHEN, SICH AN ETWAS ZU ERINNERN, DAS WIR IHNEN SAGEN? SCHEISSE!
“If you're gonna strike ‘im, ya gotta do it wit’ the intent t’ kill. So uh... nah, not right now.”
SYMPTOMATIC
THIS DISEASE
SO DRAMATIC
PANIC AUTOMATICALLY
"... Anyway, Sabine. You have to understand that, because of the precedent you set, one of us is going to die tonight. I don't know who, but I do know it's going to be to frame the survivor. That's just common sense. If you were scum, this kind of scenario would be perfect."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
What the fuck kind of precedent are you talking about? You're the only one that's done anything of impact so far! And in this case, that's not a good thing.
[Sighing at Ringtoss' response, she utters one, simple, word.]

"Fair."
silver dollar, black smoke in my eyes
shattered glass, fallen fast, leave me paralysed
"Are you actually this stupid or are you just pretending? WWho was it that initiated the vote in the first place, knowing it wasn't enough evidence to convict? Whether you like it or not, you're a target now of your own doing. I don't think you're scum either, for the record. You're just hopelessly emotional and dense. I just needed to make sure any scum watching would focus more on just me."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
"Egads, we have decided to abstain and you two are still going at it? I cannot bear to be exposed to this pointless insult-slinging any longer. If you wish to contact me, I will be in the Northeast corner, as per usual."

True to my word, I turn around and march away with my head held pointedly high, hoping my sleep will not be interrupted by an uninvited presence.
[Ringtoss briefly reaches his hand into a ring portal behind him, pulling it back out soon afterwards holding a bag of popcorn. The portal disappears, and he leans back and starts munching away, eagerly watching Sabine and Doober get at each other's throats.]
SYMPTOMATIC
THIS DISEASE
SO DRAMATIC
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Was it not Ringtoss that explicitly encouraged us to vote? And again, it wasn't me that was deliberately hindering the investigation out of my own stupidity and selfishness. And to be honest, I don't think you're a killer either. Why, you'd likely stab your own eye out trying to kill someone!
"Encouraging is far from forcing. He gave you a gun and asked you to point it to your head and pull the trigger, and you did it with a smile and a dutiful 'yes sir.' What happens now is out of our control. You can insult me for it all you like though."
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
Gengar laughs at the two of them.

“What a buncha idiots.”
I like bananas. They're yellow.
I'm not going to bother anymore. You'll probably forget it, just like you always do. Because life's just a game, and you're the joke character.
"... Maybe so. But you need to understand that"

"bro are we pokemon this is nuts"
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
"Guys. Fighting will get us nowhere."
silver dollar, black smoke in my eyes
shattered glass, fallen fast, leave me paralysed
Mawile just shakes her head. Better going after one another than after her, she figured. And if one of the two ends up dead tonight, the other's probably responsible. Probably.
Stupid doomed timeline...
/skip vote
/skip vote
"oh hell no, kung fu panda!"
Addie and Sue both wake up.

"Darn, we missed it!"


"What happened?"

After catching up to speed, they both decide to /skip vote.
“...y'all. Y'all. [Ringtoss sighs, exasperated.] “We reached a majority vote t’ skip the execution hours ago. Ya don't need t’ vote anymore.”
SYMPTOMATIC
THIS DISEASE
SO DRAMATIC
PANIC AUTOMATICALLY


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