[Mafia] Close Circle 2

[Florien]

If you understood my "numbers shit" explain it back to me and why you're not going along with it.

[Dookie]

You're a dick, Tom. You barely contribute, then you walk in and decide you hate me despite contributing nothing and apparently not listening to anything I say, apparently because you don't like that I bring up a numbers argument and tuned out everything else. Mila does the tuning me out after I say numbers too, but at the very least she's going to be proven wrong when one of either Spamton or the cookie turns up traitor. You, on the other hand, are just a dick. You've contributed nothing but insults against me, then couch it in vague extra words to make it sound like you're being fair or helpful. You're a dick, and your shirt looks stupid, and your hair looks like it's made of solidified mud. And if people aren't going to take me seriously, they shouldn't consider you a viable alternative. More to the point, you're not offering an alternative suspect. You just want to get the right one the first time, and because it's ME who decided which we're executing first out of the two actual suspects, you're totally against it. You are fundamentally a bad person.

He goes to say something, but stops himself.

"You've got a fair point, honestly."

[Kennifer]

Mila rolls her eyes.

"Okay, you're positively sure that either Spamton or the cookie is a Yarddog. You say we take one out today, worst case we're at 6 innocent and 2 guilty, best case we're 7 innocent 1 guilty. They take out somebody tonight makes it either 5 innocent and 2 guilty if we get the wrong one, or 6 innocent and 1 guilty if we get the right one. Then tomorrow we bring it to 5 innocent 1 guilty if we go for the other. See, I can fuckin subtract. As for the rest of your question, I'm waiting to see if some other shit presents itself against one or the other, or somebody else, cause if you're wrong and neither of them are guilty we're at 4 innocent and 2 guilty after offing the other tomorrow, then 3 and 2 after they off another innocent, which puts us in a fuckin bad spot of shit. So I'm trying to make sure this 'oh it's definitely one of those two' thing is plausible before we get rid of enough innocents to shift the balance to the Yarddogs. I didn't say I ain't voting, I said I wanna be damn sure you're someone worth trusting, and I ain't sure of that yet."

[Dookie]

"Anyway, let's just get to the point already. I need a break from this."

"I don't know why I'm doing this, but I've lost this battle, so let's just try what Lindsey says to see if she has a point. I still think she's a prick, but she makes good arguments."

/Vote Spamton

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

VOTE TALLY

Spamton (2) (Lindsey, Tom)
Lindsey (1) (Spamton)
Strawberry (1) (Steve)

5 to Hammer

Reina's $250 is on the line

[Florien]

Alright, great, thank you, Tom. Anyway, Mila, you totally missed the point of my math. That wasn't the entire numbers argument. My argument for why it is PROBABLY Spamton is a statistics one. There are more scenarios where Spamton is the killer than there are where anyone else is.

Spamton does the murder thinking on one level. "Frame someone". Easy enough, and it's been done before. Spamton does the murder thinking on three levels "Frame someone for framing me for framing someone". This relies on people assuming it's actually a coverup or just assuming Crepe isn't bothering at all with framing, and both are pretty common levels to try to go through.

Most people stop at one to four levels. Almost no one stops at zero levels, and levels get increasingly unlikely as you go up from there. One is more likely than two which is more likely than three which is more likely than four.

So that gives Crepe Cookie the following options. Stop at two "frame someone for framing me" in which case, she did a poor job, she didn't even pick a specific target. Or she thought on four levels, and "framed someone for framing me for framing someone for framing me." At that level of deception, you're relying on everyone else thinking on three levels of deception, which someone using that level of deception would know most people won't without a lot of prompting.

Statistically, it's more likely and more reasonable to assume this is Spamton making good decisions about who to go for than Strawberry Crepe making extremely bad decisions about who to frame. And if you're going to bring up an "it isn't spamton or the cookie" argument, please, come up with an actual piece of evidence that could be interpreted to point to "neither".

Anyway, the point is, that statistics argument plus the numbers argument plus a second statistics argument of "6-1 favors us so much that we could execute randomly and have at least a 50% chance of winning." is the numbers argument, and you're focusing on one part of it.

[Kennifer]

"So it's more of your circumstantial possible-framing thing, yeah whatever. Okay, fucking fine, at this point I just want you to SHUT YOUR YAP because my head's pounding and you're not helping. Now, if Spamton's innocent I'm putting you on my watchlist too, you and the cookie, so if neither of us dies tonight keep that shit in mind. Because if Spamton's innocent your insistence on his guilt is gonna look pretty damn suspicious. And if you're right, well... fuckin' good for you, fuckin good for everybody but the other Yarddog, and you're off the shit list."

She's not sure about anything other than needing some more painkillers, but Mila is going to cross her fingers and
/vote Spamton

[Florien]

Good, thank you. And we can take out the cookie tomorrow if this fails. Now that the doubters have been placated, will the remaining please get on board this train, as we take it to the metaphorical station wherein we toss Spamton into a blender or something similarly needlessly gory?

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Let's get this over with, because I'm getting bored with this... Can we do the challenge now?

/vote Spamton

[Zanreo]

"HEY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT [Will it Blend] ME! YOU'RE MAKING A [BIG] MISTAKE HERE!"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

VOTE TALLY

Spamton (4) (Lindsey, Tom, Mila, Strawberry)
Lindsey (1) (Spamton)
Strawberry (1) (Steve)

5 to Hammer

Reina's $250 is on the line

[PopcornPie]

"...Well...Sorry, laddie." Lucky pointed his weapon at Spamton. "Mildly hard feelin's, but you're the majority."

>Vote for Spamton

[Caret]

"Wait! WAIT! WAIT! <Wait Here!> How about we <UNO Reverse Card> it and vote off <Creamy Terminator> first. If she turns out to be <Innocenace> then we can vote out <Spam Alert>!"

. . .

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

All right, that's the five people who voted. Spamton, we're about to go for a little ride. But if you want to say anything for yourself, do it now.

[Zanreo]

"WAIT WHAT! YOU'RE ALL JUST... [[Believe]] THIS? LIKE SAID YOU'LL BE [Regret] THIS SOON! YOU'LL ALL SEE YOU JUST SENT AN [InnocentMan]] TO HIS DEATH!" He yeets several pipis at Lindsey.

Then, his glasses turn weirdly... static-y for a moment. "Guess this is goodbye... This wasn't how this was going to end... but... I did enjoy my time here... a nice change from the usual situation..."

[Dookie]

"Wait! WAIT! WAIT! <Wait Here!> How about we <UNO Reverse Card> it and vote off <Creamy Terminator> first. If she turns out to be <Innocenace> then we can vote out <Spam Alert>!"

. . .

“You seem…oddly defensive of Spamton. I'll be keeping track of you if he flips red.”

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Yes, how touching. Now get in the car. And you all can join me.

Everyone arrives at a junkyard, which has all kinds of old, broken down cars. Sparxxx gets out of the car and moves Spamton to the driver's seat, tying his hands down to the steering wheel. Sparxxx then pulls out jumper cables and connects them to Spamton himself and the battery of the car engine. He starts the engine, which makes electrical currents go through Spamton's body, giving him severe electric shocks. Everything going through his body, he starts speaking incoherently, more so than usual. Eventually, Sparkxxx turns off the car, leaving Spamton badly damaged and very close to being broken down.

I'm about to buy a new car soon anyway. Don't really need this one anymore, you feel me?

Sparxxx points his finger to the crane, which starts moving and picks up the car with Spamton inside. All he can do is look weakly as he sees himself slowly going above the car crusher. Once it gets right above it, the crane releases and the car hits the inside of the crusher hard. Sparxxx points again, making the crusher activate. All Spamton can do is watch helplessly as the walls slowly close in on him, crushing the car into twisted metal. All everyone can do is listen to the loud screeching of the car being totaled and the horrifying, pained screams of Spamton. Eventually, the walls close on each other, ending the screeching and the screams. The walls retract and what was left of Spamton and the car is now crushed into a small cube. Sparxxx once again points his finger to the crane as it picks up the cube and it moves over to a pit with hydrochloric acid. The crane releases and the cube falls right into the acid. It splashes everywhere and the cube smokes and sizzles before it sinks to the bottom of the pool, never rising up again and completely dissolving.

Congratulations, everyone. You all did it, he says looking down before turning his head to everyone.

You just voted off one of the Cappers. And we still have two Yarddogs among you all. And I suggest you get your asses in gear and fix this mess right now! Find out who those bastards are! Sparxxx said all of that, losing his cool demeanor, turning into impatient anger before they all head back to the hood.

[Florien]

Well shit, guess the cookie really is that stupid as to not pick a specific framing target. Curse you, overestimating people's capacity for reasoning! Anyway, next item on the agenda.

[Caret]

". . ."

Spamton turns to Lindsey and Strawberry and starts to rapidly glitch between his normal form and true form.

M O T H E R <Free!> K E R


> punch Lindsey and Strawberry in the eye

[Caret]

*Steve, not Spamton

[Kennifer]

Mila just glares at both Lindsey and Strawberry Crepe Cookie as well as someone with a black eye can glare, and is going to

> Go take a shower and get some clean clothes before the challenge, she's been covered in ash long enough already.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

> punch Lindsey and Strawberry in the eye (Steve)

You definitely bruised their Balls of Light-Sensitive Jelly pretty well there.

> Go take a shower and get some clean clothes before the challenge, she's been covered in ash long enough already. (Mila)

You take a nice, hot shower and you find yourself some clean clothes. You're good as new.

[PopcornPie]

"Nice deductions, Poriot." Lucky glared at Lindsey. "Right. I'm gonna keep an eye on all of you until the real culprit is found. No more late night snacks!


> Patrol the 'hood

[Weirdguy149]

The man was sitting stone-faced and staring at nothing throughout the whole encounter. Eventually, he crossed his arms and said "An' this is why you should never follow the advithe of the chatties' puhson in the room."

[Florien]

Hey, it's really not that big a deal. We know one of the killers for sure next day, and we'll be six to one. We're in a good position, and frankly, getting rid of an obnoxious email scammer who voted for me based on nothing probably did the world a service, even if it didn't do us any particular favors.

Then they get decked in the face.

Ow, fuck! I hope you get run over in your next horrifically underpaid job. I unironically hope you die. Fuck. Thhhssssthhhhh. Ow. Fucking...