Lucky 13

[Dookie]

>Look for parts to make a makeshift sword (Nood)

You come up empty.

> Go find some frozen meatballs (and maybe another weapon along the way) (Lee)

You find the meatballs, but the weapon?...You come a little short on that.

[Florien]

Nerva, having ignored the comment questioning his completely-unverifiable-by-anyone-present valor, sits vaguely smugly, or as smugly as someone with their facial features obscured behind multiple layers of equipment can sit, at least

I told you this was coming. Anyway, I think it would be best to form a sort of a union against the big target here, the one over the PA. These things are linked to the store microphones by wires, so they can't be too distant. I don't normally go into the back of Ikeas, so I couldn't tell you where the microphone is, but that should be everyone's secondary priority... after surviving, of course.

Meanwhile, I suppose it's time to get together a set of weapons befitting of the quintessential Reisgraf survivalist expert.

>Go to the store kitchen and grab bottles of oil and tablecloths. And maybe pick up a Blahaj from wherever they keep their Blahajes for something very excessive later.

[MadameButterflyKnife]

"You guys seem paranoid, damn. But I get it, everyone here's out to win! So, well, sorry to get your hopes up. Now, for the union thing...scabs are the only thing I can't beat, sorry. But that gives me an idea!"

> investigate the cash registers. there might be something useful there

>...and also get some frozen meatballs

[Dookie]

>Go to the store kitchen and grab bottles of oil and tablecloths. And maybe pick up a Blahaj from wherever they keep their Blahajes for something very excessive later. (Flor)

You get the oil and tablecloths, and you even get a few Blahajes.

[Dookie]

> investigate the cash registers. there might be something useful there (Knife)

Surprise, surprise, there's money! Don't know what use there'd be for money in here, though.

>...and also get some frozen meatballs (Knife).

They taste pretty good.

[Kennifer]

Vriska will also

> Pocket some of the houses, hotels, and game pieces from the Monopoly game, and look for something with which she can make a slingshot.

[Oggy123]

> Look for weapons for both of you. Or anything you can make weapons out of.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

> Find a stick and some string. Maybe I can make a makeshift mace with the meatballs

[Florien]

I am talking not of a labor union, but of a nation union. As the germanic principalities united into one to face larger threats before turning on each other, and sometimes not waiting even until then, so shall we.

Nerva does not seem to fully realize how pompous that sounds, or if he does, he doesn't care.

Anyway, Scandinavian Sharks aside... if any of us get out of this, and I also survive, which I likely will, seeing as I'm a trained soldier, I am well open to requests for my services as a mercenary. We Reisgrafs offer very reasonable rates! ...aside from fucking Augustus, who is grossly overrated, and any rate would be too high, not just the exorbitant price he currently charges.

>Get that non-alcoholic basically-beer that comes in glass bottles from the store section, dump the drink out, and pour the oil in and put in the tablecloths, to make some molotov cocktails!

[wingedcatgirl]

Scratch scratch scratch... yessssss this is good, nice and sharp.

Lucky suddenly notices the delicious smell of meatballs and >seeks out the source of the yummy to have a little treat.

[MadameButterflyKnife]

Jewel gets an idea. She pockets some of the money (it doesn't seem like anyone will stop her, though?) and she yells over to Nerva. "I like that vibe! Like a squad going against the enemy, united by their colors. Can't think of all the times Vice's reminded me of that. And obviously, I'll pay your type. I've got plenty of cash to go around." Technically not lying, she's just leaving out the part where all of it just came from an IKEA cash register.

[Florien]

Excellent. Obviously I can't accept your payment to work as a mercenary at this moment... for now. We shall see where we stand in a round or two, perhaps. But should we both survive, I shall gun down your foes like I did during the Battle of Olychia, back during the Alatak revolution.

[MadameButterflyKnife]

"Booyah! I like your style, soldier man." Xe finger guns at him. "And I'm a pretty good shot myself, I'll make sure that whoever fucks with you? Annihilated, right in the head!"

[Florien]

That sounds like an agreement, to fly the one banner. It is as it was with Rome and the two empires, the empire of the east and of the west. United in aim, and often united in target, but nominally independent of one another. I will take your offer under... great consideration.

[Dookie]

> Pocket some of the houses, hotels, and game pieces from the Monopoly game, and look for something with which she can make a slingshot. (Ozzy)

You put them in, but you don't find anything.

> Look for weapons for both of you. Or anything you can make weapons out of. (Oggy)

There are two empty bottles you can break to make a weapon.

> Find a stick and some string. Maybe I can make a makeshift mace with the meatballs (Lee)

You find another board, but you can't find any string that works.

>Get that non-alcoholic basically-beer that comes in glass bottles from the store section, dump the drink out, and pour the oil in and put in the tablecloths, to make some molotov cocktails! (Flor)

Nice job, you've got yourself a weapon.

>seeks out the source of the yummy to have a little treat. (Sylvi)

Again, reminder that you don't have to action to go places.

-

The PA system comes on again.

"Ok, now that introductions are over, we can get into our first Round. Not now, but tomorrow at 12:00 PM CST - Don't worry, you don't have to be there when the challenge starts, you can submit your answer to it whenever within a 24 hour time limit."

It shuts off.

[MadameButterflyKnife]

"Well, consider it, and consider it well, alright? Doubt either of us will be getting ourselves killed anytime soon, so might as well plan!"

As she spins a vase filled with meatballs in her hand, Jewel mutters under her breath, "what the fuck is a rome."

[Zanreo]

"First round? Heh, whatever it is, I'll make sure to get the big wins here!

[Kennifer]

Vriska figures that if nothing else, people probably don't like stepping on Monopoly houses. Sharp little things aren't fun to step on, she's stepped on enough d4s to know this. She then makes a rather rude gesture in the direction of the PA system.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Darryl is just going to settle for the board and meatballs he has. He is feeling defeated he hasn't much luck with acquiring items. But he's just going to take everything for what it's worth. And upon hearing Nerva's requests for mercenary work...

I'd take you up on that. Hell, I probably have a whole laundry list of people on the PGA I'd like to see taken out. But haven't won anything in like.... ever. And I'm pretty broke. Hell, I even have to drive for Uber just to make end's meet when I'm not on the course.

[noodlesnook]

O...kay?
Though I still don't see why- may I be of any assistance?

[MadameButterflyKnife]

"You want cash, man?" Jewel offers Darryl a $100 dollar bill she found in the IKEA register. "It's weird money, to be fair, it's all green and it's got some weird mammals on it, but hey, maybe you could use it! I've got plenty, and I'll get more if I get my way. And they don't lock the cashiers."

[Florien]

Ah, so the time ticks by. We have a date with destiny, I see, at the appointed time. Not one of my many siblings would be as ready for this as I am, and, dare I say, not even my parents could object to my methods today.

Nerva once again acts very dramatically for a situation that probably doesn't deserve this level of drama, and

>Takes the sawn off bit of broom handle which, by law of geometry, should be equally sharp (if much shorter) than the other bit, and puts some tape around its base for better grip.

He then >looks around for a pressurized gas canister and a cleaver. There's presumably one of each somewhere.

And then he seeks >Wire cutters.

[Oggy123]

"Well, here's something good."

Sony breaks the bottle.

"I wonder if i could have some... ranged weapon."

> Find something like a slingshot. Or something you can make a makeshift slingshot out of

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I'll say one thing. You're definitely one of the more generous people I've met so far. Thanks for the money, Darryl accepts the bill shamelessly. And after which he thinks of another idea: kitchen stuff!

> Search for knives or anything that can be used for stabbing motherfuckers

[Oggy123]

Meanwhile, Sony...

> Looks for kitchen knives. Those could also work for attacking.