[Fin] Murder U Too - Endgame

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Yeah... We'll DEFINITELY keep an eye on you...

Monika points at her eyes using her middle and index fingers, then at Kellensea's eyes.

[Florien]

Yeah, I guess so. I'm thinking... well, I shouldn't tell you, because then one of you will decide to kill someone with that method and blame it on me, and I wouldn't get out and that person would. But rest assured, I'm coming up with new and exciting plans. Different plans too. Unrelated, these disposable napkins are kind of weird. Like, you use them and then they're used. We don't have these things back home. Well, maybe we do now. But we didn't back when I was working under Azhi, anyway.

Kellensea then turns and starts grabbing hundreds of disposable napkins from the dispenser. Then she hears Alexis's comment.

Hey, I'm not insane, if anything, everyone who says they aren't going to kill is. Because let's be real here: At least one of you is lying. Probably most of you have a scenario where you're going to start trying to break down the door to outside and start stabbing people just to get that door to open. In my case, I may be doing it for my own enjoyment more than escape, but nonetheless, just because my behavior is not pro-social doesn't mean I'm insane. Just insane relative to your, frankly, quite weird definition of sanity. Back home, people like me are normal, respected, and as a whole, our society functions, and we're happy. Meanwhile, you just shame and intimidate your potential adventurers into silence with this "insanity" shit, no doubt. Those could-be adventurers are MISERABLE, I would bet, as their optimal lives cannot be lived because people like you won't permit it.

[wingedcatgirl]

She's got a point, I say, hovering idly above the fridge. I'll save y'all some time, by the way - there's no body. Nobody even attempted a kill last night. So shortly I'm gonna turn the lights back off and give someone another chance to strike.

I make a big show of thinking very hard about this. Let's say...

Lights out at Murder HQ at 20:00 CT on 3/3 (1 day and ~5 hours from this post)

[Kennifer]

"Yeah, killing someone because you enjoy it isn't any kind of 'sane' I want to be."

And Alexis is gonna need a new note pad soon.

[Huney]

"It's, uh. It's okay. I think I've had enough adventure anyway."

... Wait, what did she just...

"Hey, this may be a bit fatalistic, but can we set a... sort of house rule?"

[Florien]

What rule and regulation that people aren't going to abide by are you suggesting, Komaru?

Kellensea sounds genuinely interested.

[Huney]

"Excuse you, you're the reason I'm asking about it!"

She clears her throat.

"Unless there's evidence to deny it, should we run under the assumption the killer in a given case is Kellensea?"

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

I WOULD say that violates the whole "innocent until proven guilty" verdict... But... Kellensea's already rather questionable... Honestly, I could go either way.

Monika shrugs.

[wahoothis]

Ranma glares at the host, before looking at Komaru. "As much as I'd love to Komaru, and believe me I would, we can't assume that Kellensea is involved in every case. Even if she is. . . Kellensea."

[Kennifer]

"On the one hand, assumptions can be bad. But on the other hand..."

Alexis flips through the section of her notepad dedicated to Kellensea.

"Plus, she's admitted to making an attempt already."

She shrugs.

"As to whether she'll try again with everyone suspicious of her... Yeah, trying to think the way she does might give me an aneurysm or something, so I'm not even going to go there."

[Florien]

I vote no! But you already knew that. Also, seriously, that makes it WAY easier to frame me. All you have to do is not leave evidence, rather than actually plant it. You are proposing this under the assumption that no one except me would murder and take the trouble to clean up, when in practice, I'm just the only one who's been OPEN about my intent. In practice, many of you are going to murder, so this idea is untenable.

Kellensea doesn't even sound offended, just a bit disappointed that that was the suggestion.

[Huney]

"I... no, yeah, you're right. Nevermind. I'm more just concerned that Kellensea has already shown that her methods would leave things untraceable to her, so if it is her at any point, there's no way we could find it. But... yeah, that would really make it easy for anyone else, huh? Sorry."

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

It's fine. Besides, assumptions are often wrong, right?

[Kennifer]

"Yeah, they are."

[wahoothis]

"No worries. Besides, no one murdered last night. I doubt they're going to again, especially when we keep tabs on what everyone does at night." Ranma said brushing some hair out of his face. "I'm surprised the host is actually expecting us to kill someone, like we didn't watch someone get cooked alive. And I doubt anyone's actually cocky enough to attempt it again and risk being killed. . ." Well, besides Kellensea maybe. But everyone else probably knows this, so he doesn't need to say it aloud.

[Kennifer]

"Let's hope not."

Alexis flips a couple pages on her notepad.

"Is Kai going to be okay, by the way? I mean, after the thing with the sink last night."

[Florien]

Host said worst case, his hand withers and falls off over a couple days, otherwise, he's fine. So, nothing too bad.

[wahoothis]

"Yeah, he should be fine. Probably." He said with a half shrug. "Which reminds me: Keep Kellensea away from anything she can put poisons in. Sinks, drinks, etcetera. Speaking of, I wonder what are we going to drink? I sort of had to throw away out the drinks last night since Kellensea couldn't remember which one she put them in."

[Huney]

"Kai made sure the other sinks worked, right?"

[wahoothis]

"He did. So at the very least you guys can still use those. Even if the host said the poison in the kitchen sink is gone, I don't want to take any chances at the moment."

[Kennifer]

"...which drinks? The cans in the vending machines were okay though right? Because I had one yesterday..."

[Florien]

Wait, so you're saying if I start drinking from a thing, only I can drink from that thing there-on out? Okay, I'm going to pretend that was my plan with poisoning the water and the drinks all along. And it's the case with food too? Awesome! Right, I'm going to go manufacture explosives. And maybe drugs. But mostly explosives. Don't follow me or you'll probably get blown up, because I'm sure you know, I've never been my group's alchemist or wizard or whatever one is in charge of making things go away from where they were rapidly, so I'm not that qualified at all. And yeah, Alexis, I just did it to the ones in the fridge, I don't have the key to the vending machine, and I'm not a qualified lockpicker. So if you're not dead yet, you're probably fine.

Kellensea heads off, presumably to make explosives and drugs, as adventurers are wont to do.

[wahoothis]

Is. . . Is this woman for real? Oh who is he kidding, of course she is. "I'll. . . deal with her later. I've stayed up all night, I don't really feel like dealing with Kellensea's hijinks at the moment." Ranma said with a loud yawn, hands in his pockets.

[Kennifer]

"I'm not sure I feel like dealing with them at any moment."

[wingedcatgirl]

An explosion suddenly rings out from the office.