Party To Treason 2: Valdragon's Coup

[Florien]

Right, let's see your postcards.

Cat. Lucky's Aquatic Adventure

• Regulation Swimwear? Opaque and weirdly restrictive yet oddly vague definition thereof? Exactly the kind of thing the Alliance uses to come up with justifications for any detainment, and you're fully in compliance with regulations! The difference between Class 3 and Class 5 treats is unclear, but the Alliance generally frowns on theocracy (shh, the various agreements with the Stargazers of Avos are only because the protectorate could swoop in about it. Definitely not an ideological agreement about the societal risk of the Grounded. We promise.) So you're allowed to bring either. (You do.) And you set yourself up to be a very clean Captain indeed, ready to be presentable in any circumstance.
  
• It is a thematic red dot sight, rather than a normal infrared cross sight, luckily. Almost as if the weapon was intended for display combat rather than military use. The laser-pointer nature thereof is very exciting, and that is certainly a creative use of the scope.
  
• Lucky is Fortified in the sand. Crenellations are always classy. Everyone loves the walljaggies.
  
• Drinks and Sleeping are certainly something vacationy to do in the spare time.
  

Cpt. Frankenstein (MoL)'s Beachside Bonanza

• Nightclubs? On this island? Are you insulting the Tropical Ski Resort's Amenities? Do you really think we need a... Nightclub? My idea is without flaw, and it says we have none. Keyes is rifling through your luggage. I'm keeping these.
  
• You look around, using the scope as a telescope. You see many sights that might not have otherwise been seen, such as a decaying-in-the-sun motorboat sitting on the island with the mysterious building, old bloodstains on the cabana steps, a rare Brown Pelican, imported all the way from Earth... You also threaten some other guests while you're at it. You've got to keep up the strongarming practice.
  
• You build a catwalk out of sand. As it turns out, this is a lot of work. You do make a platform stable enough to be stood on, but Keyes prevents you from cutting down the trees you'd need to build a proper catwalk, so it's a fairly low Catwalk and you can't see much . You show off your fashion.
  

• You end up buying a stack of postcards, a snowglobe, a t-shirt, and wow Captain Keyes sure gets to import a lot of things from the outside she must be on very good terms with the leadership. Check out this big glass blob with a glass jellyfish inside! How'd they make that happen? The guests aren't very receptive to your chatting and flirting seeing as you were intimidating them earlier. You then scuba dive and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! You thereafter vow to never again enter water. You get your drink. You need it for more reasons now than ever before.
  

Cpt. Wario's Coastland Crimespree

• Excellent choices. Keyes looks skeptically at the air-holed boxes, but doesn't try to stop you bringing in your employees without tickets... you're lucky she's eccentric enough to allow this sort of thing.
  
• You look for ducks, but can't find any, on account of this not being the kind of place ducks can be found. You gun down some larger tropical birds of duck-size though, your high-caliber bullets ripping through them and scattering their remains across huge debris fields. It's quite gruesome, and Keyes takes the sniper rifle from you for getting bird innards everywhere.
  
• That's a very impressive sand sculpture! It's a bit top-heavy though, so you end up having to build it on the ground. It definitely didn't fall over immediately and crumble into a pile of wet sand and have to be rebuilt.
  
• You and your compatriots search for treasure, hawk your products, and do various distracting things. You find in the ruins of the old complex an exciting broken water cooler. You end up stripping some copper wires you find also. Your ninjas find an abandoned computer tower wearing a judge's wig in the mysterious building, which they smuggle back to you. Jimmy T fails to sell wario spice to the bar chef, because the bar already has Wario Spice. You certainly didn't sell it to them. The Alliance is UNDERCUTTING YOU! The bastards. Oh and your Doctor and Penny end up picking up a pirate radio station and Keyes immediately extorts them for all they're worth (which is not much because you don't pay them that well.) Ultimately you make a Net Zero profit as a group, and a very small profit for you personally.
  

Acting Cpt. Banks's Delightful Day Off

• Money and beach stuff. Basic, but all perfectly functional.
  
• Is anything nefarious going on? Doesn't look like it... until the lighthouse beam sweeps around and temporarily blinds you through the scope. Why is it so bright? Who uses an arc-lamp in this day and age?
  
• The bunker is very impressive and takes over a day of dedicated sandcastle work, but it's feasible at least. You find nothing too untoward beneath the sands, though the high water table at the beach does mean your bunker keeps flooding.
  
• You do normal vacation things, and also try to figure out what happened here with the skateboard tracks and the bone forest. The bone forest, you remember from the tour, was supposed to be a place to display the remains of traitors, but it filled up fast. The old complex that's destroyed was a headquarters of an early rebellion against Sendri's leadership, dealt with in brutal fashion. The skateboard marks... well, the story you get is confusing, but apparently there's a second floran named Sendri from the same general part of the universe who looks remarkably similar, except this one was a champion skateboarder and not our glorious leader, and that apparently they were here at some point? It's a very strange story and it's never made clear exactly WHY this other Sendri was here. They apparently live in the Protectorate now, or maybe they moved to somewhere more isolated? Supposedly they still participate in skateboarding championships and are rumored to have beaten an Alliance competitor in one to death with their skateboard, so whatever happened, they probably parted from the Alliance on bad terms.
  

Double Cpt. Beck's Exhilarating Excursion

• Identical Outfits? Well, no one's going to stop you, though Keyes does charge an additional fee to write "beachcloths" on one of your shirts, blatantly spelling the word incorrectly. She won't let you in without it. So yes, actually, someone's going to stop you.
  
• BIRD. You drive a population of large bird to extinction. (Well, you kill the one imported brown pelican) and invent an exciting new dish, Pelican on a plate. It's the talk of the culinary world!
  
• You build and build, but find that there just isn't enough stability in sand to rival the height of the lighthouse, much less the enormous radio tower which can be seen from anywhere on the island. You do however manage to set an intergalactic record for tallest free-standing sand pillar and biggest sand sculpture of a burger. Unfortunately for you, Guinness Intergalactic Records has already awarded those to Minister of Construction for the Miniknog Andebek Valdikov and Lethia Corporation respectively, and have no interest in awarding it to someone unable to pay them. Nonetheless, an impressive achievement.
  
• You cunningly disguise yourself as Waiter Beck, and try to get all kinds of information out of the other guests. You learn a lot of secrets, and easily make enough money from extorting them over their minor but not-really-severe-enough-to-deal-with-directly misdeeds to buy that Intergalactic Record, if you want. But nothing immediately lets you know about any plots against you that are definitely-not-poison worthy.
  

Cpt. Columbo's Fantastic Free Time

• No smoking on my island! You'll probably litter. Captain Keyes holds out her hand. Begrudgingly, you hand her the "look-the-other-way fee" to smuggle in your various smokable drugs. She also makes you pay a corking fee for your drinkable drugs. Annoying.
  
• You shoot at various target-looking things all over the island. The rifle is perfectly calibrated so that even an unskilled person could fire it accurately. Very expensive tech! You wonder how it got here as you idly terrorize the island's melon-sitting-on-a-table population and coconut-on-top-of-a-pyramid inhabitents.
  
• You build a complex sandcastle and mourn for your previously failed development ambitions. One day, one day you'll secure your victory and avenge what you've lost. It takes a while though because you have to dig deeper for wet sand than you otherwise would, so inland.
  
• There's clearly untapped potential, the tropical ski resort doesn't seem to have many ski courses. Also a tropical ski resort is possibly the single worst idea you've heard in the past few days, at minimum. Florida Keyes, unfortunately, is a visionary, and not interested in selling. Besides, you'd have to go through the development commission first, to have a shot at getting this island. Which they won't grant, Sendri's happy to finance this. They only called it a "horrifying money pit" four times, and "actually a clever idea" five times! That means they like it. Obviously. Who couldn't?
  

Maj. Harrier's Grand Gadabout Outing

• Jet ski! VvVvVvvvvVVvvVVvvvvvVVVvvv!!! Keyes charges you a "Non-Rental Safety Guarantee Fee" whatever that is though to bring your own Jet Ski.
  
• It's... surprisingly boring, really, Looks like a newish alliance building, there's a couple guard stations, and it's thoroughly disused. You manage to look in the window, and it looks like there'd be a clear shot at whoever's standing by this dust-covered table. Not that anyone is, and the only thing there is a broken... you think it was probably a popcorn machine, once. Maybe this was supposed to be some kind of movie theater?
  
• Mont-Saint-Michel is a very respectable Sandcastle Model. Captain Keyes even gives you a Sandcastle Award, and takes your picture with the Sandcastle to put in the brochures.
  
• JET SKI! VVVVvvvvvvVVvVVvvVV!!! Also you do normal skiing, the first person to do normal skiing at the tropical ski resort. Ironically, sliding down a mountain (well, it's on the border between mountain and hill, really) at full speed feels much safer than jet-skiing when you can see huge dark shapes in the water.