Cpt. Mac Cumhaill's Prison Plan
- With a dramatic and just-so-story toss, you hurl stones into the ocean. Surprisingly, they don't just sink to the bottom and get lost forever, they do form a serviceable bridge, which you walk across.
- A goblet with golden coins is certainly a bribe. Gold in its own right is not enormously valuable, but it still somewhat valuable, and the coins are forever associated with treasure chests and are seen as more valuable than in truth they really are. You arrive without incident and give someone your money goblet.
- You tear part of the roof off. Captain Breakspear doesn't actually see you do this, but he did see a giant guy who looked fearsomely strong walk through the bar, and then immediately after the property destruction started. He's definitely going to report your property destruction.
- Oh. Oh there's the problem. The prisoners have seen your bridge and are viciously rioting. You cut your way through the crowd, but they've breached the gates as you've successfully turned an island prison into something rather less secure, and they pour onto the landing station. You get out, and are in huge trouble with the Alliance for needing to get the situation under control. To save face, Valdragon demotes you, but not so far you're not directly under him. Congratulations, Lt. Mac Cumhaill.
Cat. Lucky's Prison Plan
- You try to float across the sea in a bucket. You do have a bucket and a mouse, but the ocean currents are... not optimal for carrying you between the two islands, and instead you're thrown wildly off course and proceed to discover all kinds of things. Drifting ship husks, burned almost through and riding low in the water. Ancient refinery spires from previous groups who tried to refine the acid and eventually abandoned the planet for some reason. Land is a distant memory (thirty minutes distant) as you sail the seas in your bucket on a wild adventure. Thirty minutes turns into several hours, then multiple days. You narrowly avoid the near daily storms that hit the islands (you are thankfully still lucky) but still are adrift. Eventually, somehow, by the luck of ocean circulation, you wash up on the correct beach (well, extremely unpleasant mud shore) before you starve, and straggle into the prison.
- Your plan is very smart, you look at the antennas and dishes and figure out that they probably connect somewhere in the middle to save on wiring costs. This easily lets you find the post quickly enough to snap pictures of the documents. You're a very smart cat.
- Breakspear is petting you, even braving the deadly tummy trap wherein you will bite sometimes and not others. It's all very well and good, until he notices the camera on your collar. He's weirdly not aware about the Cat Captain, but he is paying attention enough to recognize that as an unauthorized camera. He quickly crushes it between his fingers. You've lost the documents.
- You end up hiding high up and under an acid silo while the prisoners fight and kill. Eventually some guards fire on the prisoners, and butchery aside, the situation calms down. You stroll through the carnage, unperturbed and still very hungry. The bar did not have anything that you might find edible, and you haven't eaten properly for days.
Well well well. We have a winner. And a loser.
Captain Beck! I've already made a Major. However, I do have an unoccupied Captainship that no one's been in for years. Traditionally it's been folded in under Aquangrad or Allfield... but I think it'll suit you excellently. You're now also Captain of Prinaska Agriculture Station, and entitled to double voting power this next election. Your plan worked well enough... apart from the first part where you nearly died. You showed intelligence by using the strength of gold leaf against acid, and nearly as importantly, you showed that you're not so intelligent you might be a threat by your baking soda plan.
His passive aggressive attack aside, the Colonel shuffles some papers and looks through them for a moment.
Before we get to the election, I'm going to tell you each what I think is wrong with your ideas in general now.
Captain Frakenstein. Your ideas are serviceable, in principle, but you rely on deception and your cleverness to get through places where you could use brute force just as effectively. This is a sign of weakness and potentially disloyalty.
Captain Columbo. Your schemes rely entirely on you having cash. You're very quickly going to run out of cash, and what then? You'll die, that's what. You have effectively unlimited money, but there's much more money than cash. Further, your spending is flagrant, excessive, and obvious. As I'm sure you found out, when you're so obvious about what cards you have, you're not going to keep them long. You are no threat to anyone despite your strength and wealth, because you are incapable of making sound bribery decisions.
Captain Banks. You're noncommittal to the point of dubiousness. Many of your plans have a fallback, and the fallbacks make the original plan blatantly suspicious in retrospect. Talk to people, then run if questioned. Say you're inspecting things, then claim to be lost if questioned in particular. You can have fallbacks, but they can't make the original plan fail even harder, and I don't think you understand that.
Major Harrier, You rely heavily on the law to protect you. For now, this will help you, but the moment we're in a field where the law cannot hold anyone down, you're going to be torn apart.
Lieutenant Mac Cumhaill. You're over-reliant on your strength, and are prone to making huge displays. Show some subtlety once in a while, you attract far more negative attention than you need to, and could get us all killed. The world is bigger and stronger than even you, and it will crush you if you give it the chance.
Captain Sony and Captain Microsoft. You, on the other hand, are neither cautious nor aggressive, you are simply passive. You simply hope the world comes to you without attempting anything specific. While I approve of your passivity in regards to opposing me, I expect you to take at least SOME initiative in the field. Use force, cause problems, come up with ideas, don't simply walk forward and hope things work out.
Captain Walson, you have done precisely nothing and I have already filed for your execution. As soon as I find a suitable replacement, you will face a firing squad.
Captain Beck... I already addressed you earlier, but to be clear, you are smart and chaotic. You are also decidedly unsubtle, and sometimes your ideas fly in the face of all good sense. For now, I will tolerate it.
Captain Blixbo. Your plans fall short. You take small actions when you could take large ones, and take minor actions that could only work as major ones or not at all. Case in point, throwing a little acid at prisoners for no particular reason. Your touch is too soft, ironically for a creature with a hard outside.
Captain Lucky. I'm sure you can understand me, at least slightly. You're all too willing to coast by on your being a cat, but you should know, cats draw eyes. You haven't gotten me in trouble yet, but you very well could if someone makes the connection... or as we saw, even if they don't with you losing your copy of the documents.
I am disappointed in all of you, in one way or another. It is clear the only reason you have all come so far is me and my mercy towards people such as you. But, the key thing is that these documents, I have looked through them. They are indeed vitally important, and you may encounter an operation later to ACT on what we've uncovered here.
Now. It is time for the consensus building exercise. My Aide is now Captain Juniper Banks. Make your choice, Captain.