Party To Treason 2: Valdragon's Coup

[Whistle]

tThe Secret Recipe

Step 1. Make the guards a special food involving your chef's hat and another guard's face, making the head area into a giant suffocating mushroom cloud, then melt water out of their eyes with a puff of paprika and slather marinara on the ground to ensure a slippery texture.
Step 2. Ask for samples from the farmers for a taste test for a new special sauce of yours. If interrogated, claim that this is community outreach to taste. Get on their good side, if you can. If not, simply crawl though the fields.
Step 3. Using marshmallow sticks and friction, heat the farm to 450 degrees Centigrade. The burning spices will flambé any remaining workers, but the land will be newly fertilized for extra production of spice, as they are best fertilized with the ash of past plants.
Step 4. Confuse the guard by rapping to it about nothing and everything, then hit them with a dash of marinara and place quick-bake bread on the floor; the heat from the farm fire may very well cause them to balloon in size and create some sort of barrier between you and the guard that may be less then penetrable... for a while, at least. Use extra marinara on the ground for good measure, preferably thrown unpredictably. A jar to the face may also knock the guard out.
And there you have it! A perfectly failed plan to infiltrate the area!