01-07-2023, 06:31:58 AM
Leroy and Loretta Pronghorn get Railroaded and both act in and direct a film
As Loretta is tied to the railway track, the train appears in the distance. "Why do you always railroad me into doing what you want to do" says Leroy, as the train approaches. Loretta glares at him. The villain just stands there, dead eyed, as an observer to their marital dispute. After a while, he throws himself in front of the train because apparently being in the presence of the Lockhorns has sapped his will to live, derailing the train and sending it crashing through the saloon. Loretta says "I wish you'd jump in front of a train... for me." while the saloon collapses, killing any survivors, which is why...
They're arrested by the sheriff for the destruction of the saloon because anyone else who could have been blamed is dead now. However, high drama is not something the Lockhorns normally do. Relationship drama, however, is. "Well, it's better than being married." says Loretta, looking at the gallows. The cast groan. Just then, their relationship councilor arrives on set and the pair get let down from the scaffold to talk. They don't bother finishing the scene and immediately cut to them being alive and not hanging with no explanation. "It's an art film, it shouldn't be in chronological order any more than Leroy's life is in any order whatsoever. The audience can fill what happened in between with a very good idea of how we escaped."
Then, the movie cuts to them turning to evil. Loretta distracts a scientist character who's in town by complaining very loudly about Leroy, while Leroy puts on the costume from the Run Over villain and sneaks into the scientist character's lab to steal a time machine. This movie is going to make no sense, and they fully intend to make it make even less sense. Leroy robs the bank with the very steampunk time machine, travelling back in time to before the vault was built and travelling forward to when the vault was built inside of the vault, then steals all the money, but the time machine breaks, so he has to MacGyver a bomb to blow up the vault door, but is blinded by the flash. He knows that he's arrived right as the bank opened, so he rushes the door and takes a customer hostage without seeing who it is, puts a bag over their head, and ties them to the train tracks outside to effect his escape, but then he finds out it's Loretta who he's tied to the train tracks as the train approaches and Past Leroy comes to make the quip he made at the start of the movie. Time Traveler Villain Leroy dramatically leaps in front of the train to save Loretta. The film cuts to black and silence as the train approaches. "I wish you'd jump in front of a train... for me." echos Loretta's voice after a couple seconds. Then silence for a few more, then... Fin.
Roll credits.
They're arrested by the sheriff for the destruction of the saloon because anyone else who could have been blamed is dead now. However, high drama is not something the Lockhorns normally do. Relationship drama, however, is. "Well, it's better than being married." says Loretta, looking at the gallows. The cast groan. Just then, their relationship councilor arrives on set and the pair get let down from the scaffold to talk. They don't bother finishing the scene and immediately cut to them being alive and not hanging with no explanation. "It's an art film, it shouldn't be in chronological order any more than Leroy's life is in any order whatsoever. The audience can fill what happened in between with a very good idea of how we escaped."
Then, the movie cuts to them turning to evil. Loretta distracts a scientist character who's in town by complaining very loudly about Leroy, while Leroy puts on the costume from the Run Over villain and sneaks into the scientist character's lab to steal a time machine. This movie is going to make no sense, and they fully intend to make it make even less sense. Leroy robs the bank with the very steampunk time machine, travelling back in time to before the vault was built and travelling forward to when the vault was built inside of the vault, then steals all the money, but the time machine breaks, so he has to MacGyver a bomb to blow up the vault door, but is blinded by the flash. He knows that he's arrived right as the bank opened, so he rushes the door and takes a customer hostage without seeing who it is, puts a bag over their head, and ties them to the train tracks outside to effect his escape, but then he finds out it's Loretta who he's tied to the train tracks as the train approaches and Past Leroy comes to make the quip he made at the start of the movie. Time Traveler Villain Leroy dramatically leaps in front of the train to save Loretta. The film cuts to black and silence as the train approaches. "I wish you'd jump in front of a train... for me." echos Loretta's voice after a couple seconds. Then silence for a few more, then... Fin.
Roll credits.