12-28-2022, 06:06:11 AM
The Lockhorns thing
1.) Leroy looks overboard and claims to see a shark. He slowly turns his head, and with heavy-lidded eyes in a deadpan voice, he speaks. "Loretta, I thought your mother wasn't coming on this trip." Loretta silently glares, and contemplates pushing Leroy into the water.
2.) Lorretta approaches the boat's steering wheel, and Leroy immediately puts on several life vests before she can even touch it. Loretta then does not touch the steering wheel, but Leroy's already desperately committed to the bit of Loretta being about to attempt to drive the boat and immediately sinking it. He knows it's not funny, but if he doesn't commit, he's already lost. He spends the rest of the voyage wearing so many life vests that he can barely see where he's going, and keeps tripping over things.
3.) Anyone who dares to heckle the Lockhorns is in for trouble. There's a reason that their strips have a revolving cast of side characters who come to their house exactly once and then are never seen again. They drag the hecklers into their marital disputes and make the situation so awkward the hecklers would rather die than spend another minute listening to Loretta complain about how Leroy makes insufficient money and how she should have married the famous man from the business factory, or hear Leroy compare Loretta's hair to an orange with tumors.
2.) Lorretta approaches the boat's steering wheel, and Leroy immediately puts on several life vests before she can even touch it. Loretta then does not touch the steering wheel, but Leroy's already desperately committed to the bit of Loretta being about to attempt to drive the boat and immediately sinking it. He knows it's not funny, but if he doesn't commit, he's already lost. He spends the rest of the voyage wearing so many life vests that he can barely see where he's going, and keeps tripping over things.
3.) Anyone who dares to heckle the Lockhorns is in for trouble. There's a reason that their strips have a revolving cast of side characters who come to their house exactly once and then are never seen again. They drag the hecklers into their marital disputes and make the situation so awkward the hecklers would rather die than spend another minute listening to Loretta complain about how Leroy makes insufficient money and how she should have married the famous man from the business factory, or hear Leroy compare Loretta's hair to an orange with tumors.
Newsflash, Leroy's life-vest bit was terrible. Loretta says to Perch Perkins. It's unclear whether it's the only way she knows how to congratulate someone or if she actually has to try to be venomous in a vaguely pun-related way.
Leroy meanwhile is picking fights on reddit, as he is known for doing.
I am the They who says it!