Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[Whistle]

AND SO BEGIN THE GAMES.

...

...

[A young Glaceon (WHISTLE) opens the door, looking mildly frazzled. She stumbles onto the set, barely catching herself on her desk.]

Phew boy, it's been quite a while since I've taken up this mantle. Heh... my office right now looks just like it did before, doesn't it? I know the length of seasons seems to be growing right now, but I'm pretty sure there will soon be time, considering birthdays and summers and all that. I hope it all comes down to this... our lucky 17th season.


Ah, our little show is on the brink of adulthood! Needs a driver's license soon. (Frankly, so do I.)

[After a brief silence, Whistle slinks into her fancy chair.]

Personal matters aside, let's get on with the show!

[Whistle presses a button.]

INTRO MUSIC: "Seek and Destroy" - Metallica

THE REAPING
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Our Unlucky Tributes

So here we've got some new people on the roster, huh? I must have nominated another planet back there... and a black hole?! And here we've also got Oggy's little birds; a cassowary and a loggerhead shrike. CityBird's thrown Edna Mode into the ring, and Sylvi& Tempest have added the notorious Rabbit Agender to their ring.

Place your bets, everyone, on minglegingle.tom. We will be waiting.

Well well well well well! I guess now is the time, that we must begin our sacrifices.

THE BLOODBATH
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Raining Blood

When you got a name like that, whatcha expect from there?


Hey look, Kerning's already got the Hunger Games Spirit, doesn't it?


FIRST BLOOD!! Miku does a big little dupe against the Rabbit Agender, convincing them not to kill her before striking herself!!
...Looks like meat's back on the menu, everyone!


What's that? An empty sack? You could do a lot with a sack like that!


[The Shining music plays]


We call her The Riddler for this exact reason, although, this just in, Paul Dano and Jim Carrey have filed lawsuits against us.


Katsuki, major badass. 


I mean, when the one you're struggling with weighs, like, an octadecillion times more than you do, it's easy to give up.


SELF DESTRUCT!! Shinji incorrectly decides that it's better to die than be killed.


DEJA VU!! Vulkin plays the same trick Miku did on Loggerhead Shrike. Now we've got... slightly more meat on the menu.


I've tasted noses before and I still don't get the appeal.


Edna does the smart thing.


NICE SHOT!! Vindicator wastes no time with Koro-Nyan, ending a knife fight like Indiana Jones.


How boring is that!


A cowboy with space-time warp powers? Woooowwwwww!!

Meanwhile, Eijirou, Edelgard, Inez, Edna, Angel Eyes, and Mono simply run away from the Cornucopia.

With the bloodbath finished, it's high time we take on some actual things, see who dies and when.

DAY ONE

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On Our Way, Hiding

For all of Miku's game-development abilities, she is not that great of an artist.


Probably watching Cassowary somehow...


BET!! Eijirou and Katsuki try to kill Kerning, but fail. So... Eijirou's gotten Loggerhead Shrike for tonight!


Are you comfortable being a cannibal, Edna? Or, for that matter, you, Mono?


Who?


As Julia watches on with envy.


Ice cream!! Frozen!! Regenerateddddd!!


watermemon don't fuck around

...fuck


Vindicator is now... VEGGIECATOR


Angel Eyes is getting bored with life, so he's deciding to torment others for his own amusement.


Thin Man can't phone home now. Goodbye.

Well... so far this has been a pretty nice season, I think. How y'all doing out there, cannon fodder?

ALL THE FALLEN
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4 deaths: The Rabbit Agender, Shinji, Loggerhead Shrike, Koro-Nyan

22 tributes remain.

Well, that does it for today's update. If y'all are interested in hearing more, let's make sure to get this all taken care of. I'll see y'all around nightfall.

Next time... MARSHMALLOWS.