Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[awe921]

"Everybody stay at the very edge of your seats, cause we're about to get into another season of..."
"HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOOOORR!"



"We're Trouble Inspector and Discboy, and we have upgraded from being thrown into random killing games to HOSTING one! Talk about a glow up in career, huh?"
*[nodding]*
"But that's enough about us. Gather up and listen well, folks, cause we're about to introduce our unlucky contestants!"
*[enthusiastic waving]*

THE REAPING POSTIMG LINK

The Reaping

"First up, we have Kaizo and Jugglenaut! Unlike what some of you more masochistic folks in the audience could possibly think from that name, Kaizo is not, infact, a sadistic death course. They look rather normal, actually."


"Second up, we have Adachi Cornetto and Inferno Cop! You know, I think you could actually use that really rad skull as a head...? (I wonder if we can loot the dead participants.)"
*[quick glance]*
*[shrug]*


"Third up, we have actual zeniths of character development and writing. Their grandiose, incandescent, deeply thought out personalities surely shall shine this battleground. Of course, I'm joking."


"Fourth up! A duo that likely presents more of a threat towards each other than, you know, the actual death arena those two are in."


"Fifth up, we have some cartoony fellas! Better hope McGraw can live up to their title, because this is a pretty cutthroat place to be around."


"Sixth up, we have... Oh, uh. Actually, these are pretty creepy. "


"Seventh up, we have the letter that is probably banished from a thread in this forum, and a really angry and really fast statue."


"Eighth up, we have... These two! Judging from these pictures, I think they should probably be working 7 to 5, not competing in this death game."


"Ninth up, we fittingly have these two cats! One of them has a gun! And the gun wielding cat is probably a clone of the cat without a gun. Who knows? Maybe there are 7 more Dusties out there, each a master of a different weapon."


"Tenth up, we have a girl! That's relatively normal. And then we have the turtle in the cloud."


"Eleventh up, we have a system with a name that is just BEGGING for an ironic fate. Do we have a wildfire event? We also have an angel-thing-that's-currently-a-girl too."


"Twelve...th up, we have a bunch of spooky fellas, with Jack-O-Bonnie and Officer Doggy."


"And finally, we have a very hot knife that became a trend a few years ago, and a chair. It's probably going to get used as a weapon."

"(Gosh, that took so long. I'll leave a note here to tell any other hosts to never do this, this is some serious work."

"That makes for 26 total contestants! Hope you weren't trying to memorize every single one of our inevitably doomed contestants or getting too attached to them, cause we're moving on to the Bloodbath!"
*[that one neck slitting motion]*

THE BLOODBATH POSTIMG LINK

Bloodbath

"Oh hey, that E comes with a theme song for itself."
*[cheering for E]*


"Seems like the other contestants can hear it too! It touches the heart of all kinds of people- cats, infernal cops, people that look like they work 7 to 5, you name it."
*[BREAKS IT DOWN!!!!!]*


"McGraw shows these chumps how you REALLY run away from a dangerous situation. McGraw hasn't lived up to the Quick Draw title yet, but that certainly secures them the right to rebrand themselves as Stylish McGraw!"


"And we have our first kill! Be afraid of Dubhe as they mercilessly slay Master Thespian! I guess you could have seen that coming from far away, in hindsight."


"We know none of the contestants can really hear us, but that cat really should be taking that console-thingie into her sights."


"You know, I think you could have gotten a kill with all the equipment you used for that flashy entrance, but sure, go ahead."

"Wha... Where did Discboy go? Hello? Oh- IS THAT YOU???"

"... oh, that's just Sega."
*[facepalm]*
"Yeah, I know..."


"Jack-O-Bonnie's not gonna get much out of that sickle. I used one myself to fight once, and while it's pretty fast, it's not a very good weapon."


"Seems like Kaizo was an appropriate name afterall, in the sense that the world wants him dead."


"Guess he's going out for some fresh ch-air."
*[gesturing that indicates groaning]*


"I... don't get it. Do you?"
*[shakes head]*


"T'was KNIFE meeting you!"
*[are TI's jokes worse than incomprehensible jokes? thus the question.]*


"Well, that sounds like protagonist material."


"Go, Adachi, go!"


"Guess you could say that was a pretty crabby situation, huh? Wonder how long that'll last in this arena."

"Now that the bloodbath subsides, the day can finally go on."

DAY 1 POSTIMG LINK

Day 1

"Sniper Dusty makes an excellent tactical move as she creates a golem to distract any potential targets while she lines up her kill shot!"
*[that cat is up to something]*


"The things someone who works 7 to 5 will do..."


"... that doesn't really make sense, does it? I mean, his head is on fire."
*[taps disc head]*
"I know and can see your head is a disc, but you're not frozen, are you not?"


"Hey, best to feel like garbage with pals rather than alone, right?"
*[hi-five]*


"What now, will one of these two have impostor syndrome?"


"I wonder what a thing like Jugglenaut could use pennies for."


"Dubhe continues her campaign of violence as she receives an injury, but is still able to keep going!"
*[cheering]*


"I wonder if Knife is now called Knite? It soulds like Knight, but it could be Kite."


"Stylish really seems to be the path to go for McGraw, as their implied quick-draw skills get them into trouble!"


"Looks like Mark took down his first mark."


"That reminds me of a nursery rhyme..."


"Oh wow, screws and oil! Truly, this chair will be at it's healthiest!"
*[wonders what medical supplies for him looks like]*

"As the day comes to a close and night falls, our fallen contestants aaaareee..."
*[flips a sign]*
"Master Thespian, Kaizo and Officer Doggy!"

FALLEN 1 POSTIMG LINK

"With 23 tributes remaining, our game still goes strong! Tune in next time for Night 1 and Day 2!"
*[waves at the audience in an effort to establish a parasocial friendship]*