Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[Whistle]

AND SO BEGIN THE GAMES.

Pregame Music: "Here I Go Again" - Whitesnake

Well well well, well well well well well. It's finally here on Slaughterday Night Live. It's the moment you've all been waiting for, where you all can find yourselves the kings, queens, and nonbinary nobles of second chances!

THE BATTLE ROYALE.

Yes, this is it, the time where you get to see all those who managed to beat the odds and survive the games of hunger. But, as you know, we can't let them get off scot-free; this is a win-or-die sort of game. But fortunately, due to advances in revival technology, we are able to No Way Home it and bring these people back from another universe and bring them in once they've won their own games (although most incarnations of Neptune had been mutated in some way). So now, please welcome... THE PODIUM FINISHERS.

postimg | tcimg | imgur

Only a few of our nominators have managed to get such esteemed places as this; these few people are, in order of points:

1. wingedcatgirl, supreme leader of all of the Hunger Games thus far, featuring nonthreatening femetit bob (3rd, S4), Dustymoji (3rd, S8, MM), and Adrien Agreste (1st, S10)! (
   162 3rd place finishers (2*1) + 1 winner (1*3) = 5 * 3 podium finishers = 15 + 1 Podium-Finishing Mass Murderer = 
   points)
   
2. MadameButterflyKnife, queen of second place, with 3; Max (2nd, S2), Chili Pepper Cookie (3rd, S3), and Ivi Roma (2nd, S11)! (
   15 points1 3P (1*1) + 2 2P (2*2) = 5 * 3 PF = 15
   )
   
3. Kennifer, our one and only double-firster, with 2; Aunt Gayle (1st, S9) and Sollux Captor (1st, S12)! (12 points)
   
4. Dookie, who paints the days green with blood, with Henry (2nd, S3, MM) and Calvin (1st, S7, MM). (12 points)
   
5. SapphireStarblazer, painter of stars, with Chicory (1st, S8) and Goldie O'Gilt (2nd, S10, MM) (11 points)
   
6. Zanreo, the original crownee of the Arena, with Neptune (1st, S1) and Great Grandma (2nd, S8)! (10 points)
   
7. Cassie, our own resident Funking Lunatic, with 2; Ocarina (3rd, S1, MM) and Death's Avatar (1st, S5). (9 points)
   
8. ThatIdiotMan, the original second fiddle, with Mr. David Van Dreissen (2nd, S1) and Italian Spider-Man (2nd, S9). (8 points)
   
9. EeveeGirlChey, Mystery Girl Herself, with 2; Joel Hodgson (3rd, S2) and the one and only Tom "BLOODY TOM" Servo (1st, S3). (8 points)
   
10. NebulaChimera2211, the comeback queen, with Pit (1st, S11) and Cupid Kirby (3rd, S11) (8 points)
    
11. Guma, the tugboat of the games, with reigning mass murderer Beta Wooper (2nd, S4, MM) and Tulip Olsen (3rd, S12). (8 points)
    
12. Whistle, goddess of the stars, with 2; Neptune (3rd, S6) and Mars (2nd, S12, MM). (7 points)
    
13. PowerStroke9001, the Hunger Games Queen herself, with Daybreaker (2nd, S5) and Steve (3rd, S10). (6 points)
    
14. The Map Maker, cartographer supreme, with Megumi Ogata (3rd, S5) and Huang (2nd, S7). (6 points)
    
15. B-Doe-1998, the spider of time, with Boris (1st, S6, MM). (4 points)
    
16. KungFuCutbug, the bombshell anthropod, with Metabomb (1st, S2). (3 points)
    
17. TheGeekArtist08, beloved fandemigirl of all, with Herb Cookie (1st, S4). (3 points) 
    
18. awe921, the awetist of misfortune, with Fortune Boxcars (2nd, S6). (2 points)
    
19. MisterJake, the jack of all trades, with Klee (3rd, S7). (1 point)
    
20. Billy5545, our long-lost father, with Reimu Hakurei (3rd, S9). (1 point)
    

Today, we will be finding out who of all of us will be the reigning champion of this very first year of the Hunger Games (especially considering that nothing happened for six months of them), so come one, come all, grab your hot dogs and your cotton chicken candy nuggets on sasa lele, and... GET READY TO RUMBLE.

BLOODBATH MUSIC: "Life During Wartime" - Talking Heads

THE BLOODBATH
postimg (a,b) | tcimg (a,b) | imgur (a,b)

THIS AIN'T NO PARTY.

Starting off, we see Metabomb, Adrien, and Goldie running away from the cornucopia.

No no no!

If Joel's gained anything from his time on the Satellite of Love, it's knowledge of how to best send a message.

Cupid Kirby, in his childlike innocence, takes a blow on all the food and weapons scattered within, taking them all out with it.

Chicory decides to book it away from the cornucopia on her magic paintbrush.

FIRST BLOOD! Sollux, reigning champion of Season 12, decimates Neptune, champion of Season 1, with Calvin, Boy of Destiny and Death, as their witness.

After too many lost gambles , Fortune has gotta know when to fold 'em.

We have Herb's shovel.

Away goes Boris.

And Huang's ego.

Nominator solidarity! Max gets Chili Pepper Cookie out of suicide with licks, pants, and snuggles. I wonder if that will have any lasting repercussions...

Dustymoji continues her restrained bloodthirst with a knockout ram to bob for his poor choice in cuisine.

Daybreaker opts to go for backpacks instead of coffins. Oddly out of character.

Away runs Gayle, still on her skis, and out cartwheels Steve.

Lou Reed would like to have a word with Tulip.

Henry and Italian Spider-Man make a break for it.

Right then and there against Tom's bag, Ivi decides to retire from the games, then retire from that retiration.

JUST WATCHING! The Other Neptune scores another kill right off the bat, subjecting Klee to its blistering winds, with Mr. Van Dreissen supervising!

As the reigning mass murderer of the Hunger Games, you ought to be afraid.

The Hosts will not yet be revealed. Worry not. They hear us.

Mars finds itself not wanting to bring war this time and retreats.

Great Grandma, you always know when to show.

Megumi gets digging.

Death's Avatar gets the heck out of there as well; what else is there gonna be in store for them?

After the... cleanbath, we find ourselves in the first day of action.

DAY ONE
postimg | tcimg | imgur

THIS AIN'T NO DISCO

Ocarina, in a measure of goodwill, finds itself with a little pumpkin. Cute little pumpkin kitty!

Daybreaker says that Steve is more cursed, but it's like comparing coffins to cartwheels.

This Henry is lonely.

Italian Spider-Man may very well be one of the few to actually understand Great Grandma outside of Rapsittie Street.

This ain't the mass-murdering Mars I nominated...

When the AI has become so advanced that they develop creation myths... or self-awareness of their entrapment. Nice.

Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs for everyone!

An unlikely friendship, but a friendship nonetheless. It goes a little like "Why can't we be friends?"

A little trap for Joel, but Fortune needs feeding too.

LASTING REPERCUSSIONS! This Dustymoji tries to cast magic on Chili Pepper Cookie, but Chili Pepper Cookie is not a cat cookie...

No... not Death's Avatar's homeworld...

Yuck.

Max's speech goes like this... RRrrrrARRRrrrrrrAH

Pit takes a trip to the pits of Hell to round up his troops.

I might give her a class in Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit.

Tom tries to make it up to Ivi after that little spat, but she ain't havin' it!

Well well... this was... oddly bloodless. Let's just hear those cannon bells ring, and find out who is out.

THE FALLEN
postimg | tcimg | imgur

THIS AIN'T NO PICNIC

After one day, champion Neptune and mass murderer Dustymoji have been eliminated, making Neptune the first contestant to ever place first and last, and Dustymoji in a similar symmetrical position. With Klee's death, MisterJake must report to the hangar. Only 33 tributes remain alive.

Well, this has been our first update of the Battle Royale; we may not be the best, but we can somehow handle it. This has been Whistle with Slaughterday Night Live, signing out. Hope you all are feeling bloodthirsty today.

NEXT TIME... CHEATING DEATH.