02-01-2022, 21:08:55 PM
The Alliance Is Fucking Sweet And You Should Praise Them Every Day, by Mark February
Math, Part 1:
There are three Alliance Patriots escorting three Vicious Rebels to their well-deserved life imprisonment. They need to cross a river, but the only available boat can only hold two people, and if the Rebels ever outnumber the Patriots on either side, they'll try to kill them. (They probably won't succeed, but we still don't want them trying.) The boat needs at least one person rowing it to cross the river. How do the Patriots ferry themselves and the Rebels across safely?
Hint: The Rebels know they'll be shot if they try to run, so they won't do that even if left completely alone on their side of the river.
Math, Part 2:
There are twenty towns in a rebel state. Alliance forces are able to take one every day, but it costs five percent of their current forces. If the regiment has less than fifty percent of their starting forces, they will be unable to take more towns. When will the regiment need to request reinforcements?
Hint: It's not day 10.
Literature:
The Tale of the Lost Child: Once upon a time there was a small child named Pat. Pat had no parents for reasons not particularly relevant to this story, and was unable to support themself all on their own. Pat was not happy with this arrangement.
One day Pat somehow coincidentally stumbled across one or more (note to editor: please replace this with whatever number makes most sense for the metaphor) parents who were looking to adopt lost children. Pat was hesitant at first - they didn't know these people, could they trust them? But because of how the law works Pat didn't actually have a choice in the matter.
Luckily for Pat, it turned out that having a proper set of parents is very good and important for a child. Pat contributed to the household in the ways reasonably expected of small children, and in return Pat had a household instead of being all on their own. The end.
Reading question: Imagine if, instead of a small child, Pat was a planet outside of the Alliance. What would that make the parents? What does this suggest about the Alliance's cause?
Science:
Economy of Scale: Have you ever tried making just a single cup of Alliance-Brand Chilled Drink mix? It's a pain, isn't it? Even if you only want one cup right now, it's way easier to make a whole jug and save the rest for later.
Everything is easier to make (per unit thing) when you're making a whole lot of it! But you're just one person - you can't make five hundred jugs a day of Alliance-Brand Chilled Drink mix all by yourself, even if it is technically easier.
That's why the Alliance is very big! With lots of people, we can make lots of things very easily! And that's why it's important for the Alliance to keep getting as big as it can, to make even more things.
Group project: Get together with your classmates and make something for the Alliance. Take note of how much more you can do than by yourself. Now think about how much entire planets stand to gain if they joined the Alliance.
There are three Alliance Patriots escorting three Vicious Rebels to their well-deserved life imprisonment. They need to cross a river, but the only available boat can only hold two people, and if the Rebels ever outnumber the Patriots on either side, they'll try to kill them. (They probably won't succeed, but we still don't want them trying.) The boat needs at least one person rowing it to cross the river. How do the Patriots ferry themselves and the Rebels across safely?
Hint: The Rebels know they'll be shot if they try to run, so they won't do that even if left completely alone on their side of the river.
Math, Part 2:
There are twenty towns in a rebel state. Alliance forces are able to take one every day, but it costs five percent of their current forces. If the regiment has less than fifty percent of their starting forces, they will be unable to take more towns. When will the regiment need to request reinforcements?
Hint: It's not day 10.
Literature:
The Tale of the Lost Child: Once upon a time there was a small child named Pat. Pat had no parents for reasons not particularly relevant to this story, and was unable to support themself all on their own. Pat was not happy with this arrangement.
One day Pat somehow coincidentally stumbled across one or more (note to editor: please replace this with whatever number makes most sense for the metaphor) parents who were looking to adopt lost children. Pat was hesitant at first - they didn't know these people, could they trust them? But because of how the law works Pat didn't actually have a choice in the matter.
Luckily for Pat, it turned out that having a proper set of parents is very good and important for a child. Pat contributed to the household in the ways reasonably expected of small children, and in return Pat had a household instead of being all on their own. The end.
Reading question: Imagine if, instead of a small child, Pat was a planet outside of the Alliance. What would that make the parents? What does this suggest about the Alliance's cause?
Science:
Economy of Scale: Have you ever tried making just a single cup of Alliance-Brand Chilled Drink mix? It's a pain, isn't it? Even if you only want one cup right now, it's way easier to make a whole jug and save the rest for later.
Everything is easier to make (per unit thing) when you're making a whole lot of it! But you're just one person - you can't make five hundred jugs a day of Alliance-Brand Chilled Drink mix all by yourself, even if it is technically easier.
That's why the Alliance is very big! With lots of people, we can make lots of things very easily! And that's why it's important for the Alliance to keep getting as big as it can, to make even more things.
Group project: Get together with your classmates and make something for the Alliance. Take note of how much more you can do than by yourself. Now think about how much entire planets stand to gain if they joined the Alliance.
"... Yeah I don't remember grade school at all."
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