Eridan has a devious ploy! It plays out thusly. First, he tries to sneak in all stealthy-like. Looking lost is all well and good when everyone notices, but it just gets him escorted out by guards the first time he gets caught instead of immediately being tackled, pepper sprayed, tased, and beaten. He succeeds the second time though. He then manually goes through all the files back to front, then tries the middle. It takes a while without much of a coherent search system beyond looking everywhere. By then, Valdragon is already coming down the street! BANG! Eridan shoots at the electrical socket with a gun, alerting everyone in the building as sparks fly and set the archives building ablaze! EVERYTHING IS BURNING! HE RUNS, HIDING HIS RIFLE AS HE FLEES! HE... Runs into Valdragon on the way out, who has some very uncomfortable questions as the fire is extinguished, specifically, the very obvious bullet hole in the electrical socket, the gunshots, and the witnesses reporting him sneaking around. A full cavity search is conducted, and the gun is found... and Eridan plays dumb, which just makes the Colonel angrier and angrier. The Colonel pulls out a pistol and shoots Eridan in the knee. He collapses to the ground, writhing in pain, and Valdragon is seconds away from killing him... when suddenly, the Colonel gets a call and gets distracted long enough for Eridan to drag himself away.
Bandu thinks of a dastardly plot! He steals an employee, and cunningly disguises himself as that employee. This works fine. He then tries to find the correct files by... making a huge mess of all the files in the archive. This achieves nothing and only makes it harder. Then, he triggers an earthquake, hoping that'll destroy them. The ceiling caves in and buries the documents under tons of rubble... and also buries Bandu under tons of rubble, and a bunch of other important documents too, and other buildings in the city. Bandu is in horrible agony now, crushed and battered. Freeing himself isn't too bad, with teleportation, but he's covered in concrete dust and asbestos, so not only will he have lung cancer thirty years from now, but he obviously was in the archives when the building caved in. Valdragon makes a vaguely snarky comment about "Do you not think we vet our recruits and their abilities?" before shooting Bandu multiple times for causing a horrible earthquake and potentially many future ones. It's a miracle he survived those wounds, even with the powers he has.
Next, Monaca has connived a method for the task! She tries to bluff her way into the archive, pretending she has permission to be there from a school. She is immediately rebuffed because it contains classified information that she's not cleared to look at. She eventually talks her way in, but she has to be followed by a guard. She eventually manages to ditch the guard long enough to release a few drones to look around the archive for her target, and finds it quickly enough... in the classified section, where the guard won't let her go. She just straight up stabs the guard in order to get to the documents, there isn't really another way for her now. She then puts the documents in pickle jars for some reason. It damages them, certainly, and does make them illegible, which is nice. Shaking does cause them to turn into a papery sludge... but trying to present this inky greyish sludge as "pickles for eating" at a welcome party does not go over well. Valdragon doesn't realize what exactly is going on with the sludge, yet at least, but takes the mess as an insult and yells at Monaca for providing such unpatriotic and substandard pickles. No one eats the mess.
Bandu thinks of a dastardly plot! He steals an employee, and cunningly disguises himself as that employee. This works fine. He then tries to find the correct files by... making a huge mess of all the files in the archive. This achieves nothing and only makes it harder. Then, he triggers an earthquake, hoping that'll destroy them. The ceiling caves in and buries the documents under tons of rubble... and also buries Bandu under tons of rubble, and a bunch of other important documents too, and other buildings in the city. Bandu is in horrible agony now, crushed and battered. Freeing himself isn't too bad, with teleportation, but he's covered in concrete dust and asbestos, so not only will he have lung cancer thirty years from now, but he obviously was in the archives when the building caved in. Valdragon makes a vaguely snarky comment about "Do you not think we vet our recruits and their abilities?" before shooting Bandu multiple times for causing a horrible earthquake and potentially many future ones. It's a miracle he survived those wounds, even with the powers he has.
Next, Monaca has connived a method for the task! She tries to bluff her way into the archive, pretending she has permission to be there from a school. She is immediately rebuffed because it contains classified information that she's not cleared to look at. She eventually talks her way in, but she has to be followed by a guard. She eventually manages to ditch the guard long enough to release a few drones to look around the archive for her target, and finds it quickly enough... in the classified section, where the guard won't let her go. She just straight up stabs the guard in order to get to the documents, there isn't really another way for her now. She then puts the documents in pickle jars for some reason. It damages them, certainly, and does make them illegible, which is nice. Shaking does cause them to turn into a papery sludge... but trying to present this inky greyish sludge as "pickles for eating" at a welcome party does not go over well. Valdragon doesn't realize what exactly is going on with the sludge, yet at least, but takes the mess as an insult and yells at Monaca for providing such unpatriotic and substandard pickles. No one eats the mess.
I am the They who says it!