It was at that point that the COSMIC SHEEPLE bleated. It had awoken.
The Lizardpeople, the Illuminati, the Evil Satan Cabal and the FOUL SOCIAL MINORITIES OF THE WEEK WHO ARE BEHIND EVERYTHING, as well as the moon-landing film crew with NASA, and finally the Knights Templar, gathered together, and raised each of their legendary scepters to the skies.
The Scepter of Scale, forged in the deepest center of the world in times forgotten, crafted of polished cobalt.
The Scepter of the Eye, forged in Bavaria in secret, during the time when the Illuminati was new, made of gold.
The Scepter of the DEEP STATE WOKE COMMUNISTS, forged in Washington by Ulysses S. Grant, the FAKE PRESIDENT, smelted from the lead shot pried from civil war battlefields.
The Scepter of Not Being The Absolute Worst, crafted of wood taken from two mighty trees, woven together in ways which should not be possible and intricately carved.
The Scepter of the Hologram Moon, more of a remote control than anything, made of a strange silver metal with green glowing networks of wires crossing the surface in orderly patterns, a button to turn off the moon hologram on the side.
and the Scepter of the Knights Templar, made in the 1200s from the steel of ten holy blades consecrated in the blood of the UNBELIEVERS.
The scepters united for the first time in history. The world trembled, and nothing would ever be the same again. Beams of light arced into the sky, and orbited the world, searching for some target to strike.
The scepters found six ordinary teenagers at Citytownville High, and bestowed upon them the powers to FIGHT THE AWOKEN SHEEPLE!
Sally Crenshaw, long the resident excitable, outgoing type, gained the power of the first scepter! Now, she's cold blooded, and in between basking on rocks (on the beach or otherwise), she also can climb walls and wait in the shadows so expertly that no friends of the Awoken Sheeple will know until she can best them.
William Bryaford Jameson II, the nerd of the group, gained the power of the second scepter! Now he can use his third eye to look through any camera which he knows the location of, keeping careful track of potential Agents of the Sheeple moving in!
The Scepter of the DEEP STATE WOKE COMMUNISTS went to Drew Unger, the shy, quiet member of the friend group, with a dark streak. Now he can steal the life force of his enemies, and can easily make friends with anyone, if he can just get them to listen to him for long enough! He's the one who can talk even the most Loyal Follower of the Awoken Cosmic Sheeple into abandoning the cause and joining on the side of right!
Oakland Daffydds, the somewhat prideful and comically self-absorbed member of the group, got the power of not being the absolute worst! They can go more than five seconds without hurling a slur, and are always aware of all the rules of etiquette that should be applied in any given situation. They can also instantly know how to make someone uncomfortable in a conversation, extracting information from Followers of the Cosmic Sheeple with ease!
Danielle Brooks, the blunt workaholic with a lack of social skills, received the Moon Remote Control Scepter's Might! Now she can literally turn the tides at will, and cause solar eclipses and darken the very sky, to bring terror and panic to her foes among the Sheeple and other groups alike!
And finally, possessing the might of the Templar's Scepter, Hayley Jackson, the competitive, zealous, sports person! With the power to call upon knights of the past to launch crusades against individual targets and to help them with day to day life, the Sheeple Legions can't stop them at home or in the heat of battle!
WHEN UNITED, THEY ARE THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS, SENT TO MAKE THE COSMIC SHEEPLE RETURN TO ITS SLUMBER!!!
Premiers this weekend at like, five pm on some channel I guess.
The Lizardpeople, the Illuminati, the Evil Satan Cabal and the FOUL SOCIAL MINORITIES OF THE WEEK WHO ARE BEHIND EVERYTHING, as well as the moon-landing film crew with NASA, and finally the Knights Templar, gathered together, and raised each of their legendary scepters to the skies.
The Scepter of Scale, forged in the deepest center of the world in times forgotten, crafted of polished cobalt.
The Scepter of the Eye, forged in Bavaria in secret, during the time when the Illuminati was new, made of gold.
The Scepter of the DEEP STATE WOKE COMMUNISTS, forged in Washington by Ulysses S. Grant, the FAKE PRESIDENT, smelted from the lead shot pried from civil war battlefields.
The Scepter of Not Being The Absolute Worst, crafted of wood taken from two mighty trees, woven together in ways which should not be possible and intricately carved.
The Scepter of the Hologram Moon, more of a remote control than anything, made of a strange silver metal with green glowing networks of wires crossing the surface in orderly patterns, a button to turn off the moon hologram on the side.
and the Scepter of the Knights Templar, made in the 1200s from the steel of ten holy blades consecrated in the blood of the UNBELIEVERS.
The scepters united for the first time in history. The world trembled, and nothing would ever be the same again. Beams of light arced into the sky, and orbited the world, searching for some target to strike.
The scepters found six ordinary teenagers at Citytownville High, and bestowed upon them the powers to FIGHT THE AWOKEN SHEEPLE!
Sally Crenshaw, long the resident excitable, outgoing type, gained the power of the first scepter! Now, she's cold blooded, and in between basking on rocks (on the beach or otherwise), she also can climb walls and wait in the shadows so expertly that no friends of the Awoken Sheeple will know until she can best them.
William Bryaford Jameson II, the nerd of the group, gained the power of the second scepter! Now he can use his third eye to look through any camera which he knows the location of, keeping careful track of potential Agents of the Sheeple moving in!
The Scepter of the DEEP STATE WOKE COMMUNISTS went to Drew Unger, the shy, quiet member of the friend group, with a dark streak. Now he can steal the life force of his enemies, and can easily make friends with anyone, if he can just get them to listen to him for long enough! He's the one who can talk even the most Loyal Follower of the Awoken Cosmic Sheeple into abandoning the cause and joining on the side of right!
Oakland Daffydds, the somewhat prideful and comically self-absorbed member of the group, got the power of not being the absolute worst! They can go more than five seconds without hurling a slur, and are always aware of all the rules of etiquette that should be applied in any given situation. They can also instantly know how to make someone uncomfortable in a conversation, extracting information from Followers of the Cosmic Sheeple with ease!
Danielle Brooks, the blunt workaholic with a lack of social skills, received the Moon Remote Control Scepter's Might! Now she can literally turn the tides at will, and cause solar eclipses and darken the very sky, to bring terror and panic to her foes among the Sheeple and other groups alike!
And finally, possessing the might of the Templar's Scepter, Hayley Jackson, the competitive, zealous, sports person! With the power to call upon knights of the past to launch crusades against individual targets and to help them with day to day life, the Sheeple Legions can't stop them at home or in the heat of battle!
WHEN UNITED, THEY ARE THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS, SENT TO MAKE THE COSMIC SHEEPLE RETURN TO ITS SLUMBER!!!
Premiers this weekend at like, five pm on some channel I guess.
I am the They who says it!