Experiment 194

[Dookie]

“Well, sir, when you put your budget into a laboratory like this, you do not hav enough money to buy caviar.”

“But let's get this straight, I'm Tony Farburg, the President of Innovision Labs and overseer of this project. This is the RRC - The Rax Research Center. We think we have found a new, nuclear-style element that can alter the DNA of organisms. We had to keep it confidential for a while, though, as revealing it would lead to chaos.”

“…So we tried it out on mice, and birds, and elephants, and almost every animal we could get our hands on. We decided to test it out on humans, but we couldn't ask for volunteers, or they'd reveal everything. So instead, we decided to use you all as test subjects for this experiment, letting you peacefully sleep while we carefully test our discovery to you, purified to a small dose of a medical shot. But, because of a mistake, you all woke up early, and will have to be put back to sleep tomorrow. Because I'm a nice guy, I'll show you all around before I tell you all to rest. It feels good to show somebody my work.”