09-14-2021, 01:01:27 AM
(09-12-2021, 18:00:03 PM)Matthew Wrote: Guys, I need your help! My girlfriend Baby Doll Felicity has been kidnapped by the Russian Mafia. Guess they're still mad at us over whacking Sidorov. They're demanding I give them a billion dollars. I'm not gonna cave to them! But I will ask that you all rescue her.... please. Here are the tasks:
1. Arm yourself well and/or find an army to help.
2. Find out where Felicity is being kept.
3. Fight your way through and kill as many as those Russian Mafia members as you can that are holding her hostage.
4. Rescue Felicity and bring her back to my mansion safe and sound.
5. Get the Russian Mafia back by raiding one of their own main bases.
The deadline will be on Tuesday, September 14 at 6:00 PM CST.
1. Snult? Snult. Escargoon rallies up all the cult members, arms 'em with weapons, bada bing bada boom.
Hmph. They come in handy after all.
2. Escargoon and his, well, goons all pile into a van, one of the cult members acting as a chauffeur. They all search known locations and gather intel from locals (via intimidation). Once a location is found? Drive there. In the middle of the night, of course.
3. The cult members can do all the fighting, alongside some sentries Escargoon whipped up and brought along. Escargoon controls the sentries from a distance. Russian Mafia members who survive get temporarily knocked out with a soundwave machine, also built by Escargoon.
4. Hope she enjoys van rides, 'cause she's riding in the back of the van with Escargoon and a bunch of weird guys who worship a snail.
5. Escargoon and his snult get more information out of locals (with more intimidation!), as well as any info from any surviving members of whatever the fuck just happened in step 3. Using that, they all track down the main base. Step 3 is repeated here. Boom, baby! Also some of the cult members steal stuff they found in the base.
I refuse to be polite or heterosexual