Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[Kafkaesque]

More hunger. More games.

NIGHT ONE

• Undertale! The source of countless shitposts in its time! And now none of us will ever be able to take skeletons seriously again. The Delta Warriors try their hand at the art of absurd Internet content - but the target audience of such posts, an unstable zoomer, is less than impressed. Sad. Better luck next time.
  
• The noble art of hot dog stacking! Another feature of the Underground that's come to permeate life above. But Krang's shiny glass dome proves ill-suited to it! Look at that! It's like a fleshy Jenga tower!
  
• Yoshi shares stories of his daring, athletic adventures as he accompanies Mario, from infancy to adulthood, in his eternal conflict with the King of the Koopas. BonziBuddy shares stories of that time he drove a metalhead to lunacy. One of these two is clearly cooler... yes! That's right! It's the spyware mascot!
  
• Not the ideal tribute to take dance lessons from... But who am I to talk? My attempts to dance have left people fearing I was having a stroke!
  
• Oh, boo hoo, the giant alien monster that destroys all it touches is cold. I'm touched. Aren't you?
  
• Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! And the result... well, it's red like blood, but I wouldn't say this particularly qualifies as a curse?
  
• I am the god of hellfire! And I bring you... not an awful lot. Team Snakemouth are smart enough to understand that human fires wouldn't be healthy for teensy little bugs.
  
• Robots! They're cool! Everyone likes robots! Even Marinette, who decides to resort to the use of robots over wasting the limited charges of her superpowers. Buuuuuut it backfires. Rest in peace, Ladybug.
  
• Final Fantasy XIV! It's not a game either of these characters come from, but fuck you! They will cast spells from it anyway! Corporate copyright laws are a distant memory! We spit in the eye of normalcy!
  
• And in another instance of the Arena imparting tributes with grand new abilities, dogkind has discovered the noble art of cooking! No more raw bones for this canine!
  
• Bloody Mary again! And this time, the figure summoned from the glass is more thematically appropriate. Hello, Poe!
  
• Off with his head. But what's this? It appears being a toy has worked in the Camel's favour! No head? No problem! Just stick that shit right back on!
  
• They call him "Kirby of the Stars" in his world's native tongue, you know. So is he, perhaps, homesick? Or does he simply think the night sky looks pretty?
  
• The wonders of magnetism! ...are something I personally would not entrust to Charles Calvin. He's dangerous enough in the vicinity of a vehicle at the best of times.
  
• Agent is left frustrated by the cruel whims of the vending machine! Their response is to treat the vending machine in a fashion that will likely ensure many more breakdowns in the future! Such wonderfully ironic actions!
  
• Erasure. A Quirk that allows Aizawa to erase the superpowers of others merely by looking at them. Busted, I'm afraid. We'll be taking that. Aaaaaand... done. Have a nice day, Aizawa!
  
• Pyra and Mythra join those who have acquired shapeshifting abilities! Those syringes sure are hot commodities, huh?
  
• Hm. Ah. Hm. Well. Ah. This is. Certainly a relationship. Now if you excuse me, I'd prefer not to have to think any harder about it.
  
• Ah, yes, a distraction from what we just witnessed! Good, good, good! Excellent! I don't even care about the non-violence of it! Anything but... that!
  
• Oh! Tragedy! Kowalski has stepped in wet cement! Fairy magic cannot help him! Tamama's superpowers both old and new cannot help him! SUTANDO POWA cannot help him! Even a mind as keen as Cecil's cannot help him! Woe, woe, woe... oh, no, hold on, he pulled himself out while I was lamenting. How anticlimactic.
  
• And finally, Childe is awoken by terrible nightmares! Of what? People no longer being willing to shell out money for anime twinks, perhaps? We may never know!
  

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DAY TWO

• Randomiser time, woo-hoo! And we have rolled... #149! Kowalski attempts to tear Neptune's head clean off, but fails dramatically!
  
• Hey apple, knife!... I apologise. I have invoked a cursed presence upon this land. Even the most foul creatures associated with Julia Set are loath to speak the name of the being known only as... "Orange". I fear for my life...
  
• Dimensions! Interesting things! Did you know Julia Set has facilities operating in up to twenty different dimensions at a time? Yes, it's true! You should see our fifteenth-dimensional branch manager! Almost more than the mind can take!
  
• I see Agent's diet is very typical of a penguin! Almost stereotypical, in fact... hey! Agent! Stop caricaturing your kind! You disgust me!
  
• Playlists! Does the Fire Emblem world have those? Or is Marianne simply picking up modernist foibles from her stay in the timeless expanse of the Arena?
  
• Even in the Hunger Games, Don Karnage finds the time to commit a little piracy! Assembling a motley crew of cyborgs, computer programs and goths, he storms the camp of the Delta Warriors while they're off trying to find something to eat! A low blow!
  
• Well! This is quite the inversion of how you would expect things to go, is it not? And on that note... what hand? Has our equine Tribute spontaneously grown human digits? I would not rule out the possibility!
  
• Gross. A shame Giorno here could not have suffered a more dignified death.
  
• The power of rock! The power of friendship! The power of plot bullshit! Many forms of power, all converging in this singularly glorious event!
  
• Deary me! I wouldn't threaten the dignity of Cecil Terwilliger if I were you, Yoshi... but wait! He's taking it in stride, it looks like! He's letting Yoshi live another day!
  
• What's this? Regret, coming from an egotistical galactic conqueror? Well! It seems unusually non-murderous villains have become a theme of this day! But one tribute has certainly died here!
  
• Tamama has already been given Cell's powers on top of his ability to breathe lasers! Now, the magic of the djinn gifts him even greater resources! All hail Prince Tamama!
  
• Now here's a Bloody Mary summoning that fits the theme perfectly! Don't go summoning Demi yourself. I know what a bunch of pathetic perverts you are.
  
• Water fighting! A popular activity, it seems! You know what I think could stand to be more popular? Actual fighting. Go on. Kill.
  
• "Prrrrromotion? What for? You should have swiped the particle accelerator and brought it to me, you nincom-gangster!"
  
• Kirby and Charles, pioneers of the art of time travel! But the process appears to have a few kinks in need of ironing out. Ah well.
  
• And we end the day on the sight of the camel picking some beautiful flowers! Is this not so wholesome? Fun fact. We nourish those flowers with the blood of slain tributes.
  

Death comes for all, sooner or later. For these tributes, it came today.