03-26-2021, 11:37:56 AM
Kellensea slides into the kitchen, to watch the disaster and taunt mercilessly.
Ooh, the great martial artist mcpunchyman can do all this other great shit, but can't open a flask! You wouldn't last a WEEK in the wild! Hell, it wouldn't even be another adventuring party that got you! It would be blood loss caused by accidentally impaling yourself with an eating implement! Spend 14 years training, and what do you get of it? Sure, you're an okay fucking "martial artist", but INEPT AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE! HAHA! No, forget it, you wouldn't not only not last a week in the wild, you wouldn't last a week in URBAN conditions! You'd probably get eaten by a slightly larger than average cockroach five minutes in!
Her jibes and jabs only get worse.
I had a friend, he was a mindflayer! You know them, octopus-looking faces, some psionics, eat brains, right? He wouldn't touch your brain until it had been thoroughly disinfected and cooked to disarm whatever vile fungus is consuming it! Your flask opening skills are a lot like many companies, in that both have "limited" and "liability" in their title! I could call that flask the main gate of Veltirississchy, because nothing's ever getting through THAT bottleneck! There's a similarity between that flask and the buried vaults, in that neither will open in your lifetime! HAHAHAHA!
After her sudden switch to comparative jokes rather than direct insults, she breaks down into laughter again. Then, as it often does, her tone abruptly switches, this time to a slightly concerned sounding one.
Also I wouldn't hit it with that mallet. Water is incompressible, you'll just knock the flask in a random direction, or the mallet will bounce right off and hit you in the face.
Only to switch back to the mocking. Again.
Of course, I bet you won't listen, because your mind is like that flask! FOREVER CLOSED! HAAAAAAHHAAAHAHAAA!
Kellensea is wheezing now. It's amazing she managed to get through those quips without breaking into laughter in the middle of one of them, considering how much she clearly enjoyed doing that.
Ooh, the great martial artist mcpunchyman can do all this other great shit, but can't open a flask! You wouldn't last a WEEK in the wild! Hell, it wouldn't even be another adventuring party that got you! It would be blood loss caused by accidentally impaling yourself with an eating implement! Spend 14 years training, and what do you get of it? Sure, you're an okay fucking "martial artist", but INEPT AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE! HAHA! No, forget it, you wouldn't not only not last a week in the wild, you wouldn't last a week in URBAN conditions! You'd probably get eaten by a slightly larger than average cockroach five minutes in!
Her jibes and jabs only get worse.
I had a friend, he was a mindflayer! You know them, octopus-looking faces, some psionics, eat brains, right? He wouldn't touch your brain until it had been thoroughly disinfected and cooked to disarm whatever vile fungus is consuming it! Your flask opening skills are a lot like many companies, in that both have "limited" and "liability" in their title! I could call that flask the main gate of Veltirississchy, because nothing's ever getting through THAT bottleneck! There's a similarity between that flask and the buried vaults, in that neither will open in your lifetime! HAHAHAHA!
After her sudden switch to comparative jokes rather than direct insults, she breaks down into laughter again. Then, as it often does, her tone abruptly switches, this time to a slightly concerned sounding one.
Also I wouldn't hit it with that mallet. Water is incompressible, you'll just knock the flask in a random direction, or the mallet will bounce right off and hit you in the face.
Only to switch back to the mocking. Again.
Of course, I bet you won't listen, because your mind is like that flask! FOREVER CLOSED! HAAAAAAHHAAAHAHAAA!
Kellensea is wheezing now. It's amazing she managed to get through those quips without breaking into laughter in the middle of one of them, considering how much she clearly enjoyed doing that.
I am the They who says it!