Your Final Frontier

[artsyGeek]

"Alright, seems like a solid plan. Where should we meet up?"

[Kafkaesque]

"Patrol? Eh... guess I could join you. No way I'm sleeping tonight anyhow."

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Maybe meet at the lighthouse? Good view of the cabanas from there.

[PointMaid]

I assumed to patrol around the cabanas we'd meet up in front of the cabanas.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

That could work, too.

[Zanreo]

"Alright, so... that's where we're meeting up, then?"

[Florien]

Organizing a group to patrol? Fasscinating. You think that could ssave you. Floran will be interessted to ssee if it doess. Meanwhile... the ssun has sset.

Indeed it has. Dawn will be on the 24th at one eastern. Remember to send in those actions, and be ready.

[Florien]

Time passes. A horrific screech over the announcement system echoes through the night.

FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

The Bar and Grille is ablaze. The patrol rushes to investigate it, some keeping watch on where Loona's cabin is... not realizing that she had left that cabin before they'd even arrived.

Fuck, fuck, uhh... everyone remain calm. Hold sstill, for a couple hourss until dawn, then we'll ssort thiss out. If you don't hold sstill, floran WILL have you shot. Jusst wait a moment.

Everyone does hold still. Day eventually comes, revealing the Bar and Grille has been destroyed in a fire. But it also reveals Dr. Explosionface... No, Doctor Elliot now, dead on the steps of the Small Sea Star Cabana. Going inside, reveals Loona, dead, with a broken bit of furniture stuck in her. She's dead too. 2E is unconscious, somehow, but will live.

Yeah, sso... Loona was your lasst murderer, and the doctor over there was the hero. You innocentss won. Floran will be along shortly, with the other judgess, to get you releassed. God, floran needss to rebalance thiss in favor of the killerss, it happened like thiss lasst time. Whatever. Be there shortly probably.

[PointMaid]

Oh, god, so it was Loona. 2E? Elliot? Elliot? ELLIOT? He'd just decided for sure he was going to be... good... he really was a hero.

Selen(ium) tries to see if the announcement was wrong and Elliot isn't dead...

[Florien]

NO NOT ELLIOT!

Yes Elliot. Elliot is dead, horrific hellhound wounds in multiple places on his body. Even if he was alive, it wouldn't be possible to save him with the stuff on the island you have access to. A torn note in his pocket reads the following.

"If you're reading this, I am dead. Rest assured, this was on my part: I martyred myself to keep anyone else from being killed. Should a body be found alongside mine, they are scum. Life is too precious for these murderers to take it away, so I sacrificed my own. Sincerely, Dr. Elliot Wight."

[Zanreo]

"So it was Loona after all... looks like we were right." Shin says. "I was planning to stop her from attacking tonight myself, but looks like the Hero beat me to it..."

[PointMaid]

Yeah, yeah, we... we were right about that part, she says sadly.

[madface7]

"Take that, you furry skank!" 2-E raises her hands in the air.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! WE SURVIIIIIIIIIIIIVED! Eat shit, you soyboy cucks!"

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Gary Busey comes in to see the commotion and sees the dead Loona and Eliot.

So, it was the wolf-girl who tried to kill me.... Makes sense, too. After I barked at her, she said I would be the first she would kill. And she was even framed by Mettaton to, all to try and get her some sympathy. They were good.... good thing I got lucky too. Well, rest in Hell, bitch. Don't let the gates burn you on the way down. And Eliot, God bless you for your sacrifice.

[Zanreo]

"Yes... he might not have lived to become the artist he wanted to be... but he died a hero."

[madface7]

2-E cheers a bit more, until realization strikes.

"...Oh, right, they were... brainwashed... into... doing it..."

The realization seems to strike a nerve. "I..."

"...I hate even trying to remember the time it was the other way around..."

[Florien]

Wow, tone down the Nazi shit, E.G. "Cucks" and "Soyboy". Otherwisse floran might smash your sskull in, robot. Fasscissm iss horrifically unsstable and condussive to corruption and floran won't allow it. You'll give floran'ss more... influenced ssubordinatess ideass. Anyway, we'll be there shortly probably.

Indeed, the boat has pulled up on the dock, and several soldiers have arrived, along with six of the judges. Presumably they left "Judgebot 3000" back in the building.

Right, firsst thingss firsst. Rebel Cookie, you failed. Floran'ss plan to weaken major powerss proceedss apace. Guardss?

Rebel Cookie is grabbed by two heavily armored Alliance soldiers.

How about ssome, shall we ssay, "memorable eventss."

Rebel Cookie is punched hard in the gut, followed by a sword strike to the head by the extremely pale judge in clerical vestments, and is dead.
Rebel Cookie was the Captured Spy.

Don't assk how we found out how that went down. Anyway, we didn't have the budget for a ssword chamber or a rocket fisst or anything. Thiss iss good enough. Jusst as dead, you ssee.

Sendri then turns to Cool Sendri specifically.

As much as you presssumably will be allowed to walk out of here, and as much as floran hopess you die, we have an offer. Join uss. You won't accept, probably, but you know, take down the corrupt sssysstem from the insside or whatever? ...Floran thinkss the ssysstem will corrupt you first, of coursse. Otherwisse floran wouldn't offer thiss. Or you could go free with a gift from uss. Oh, yeah. That'ss a thing. Giftss. Uhh... All of you ssurvivorss get a full pardon for your crimess againsst uss, and we can give you ssome giftss, if you want. Within reasson, of coursse.

You're lucky I didn't blow up the entire island when that wolf burned down my beautiful bar and grille!

Uhuh. Yeah. Assk away, ignore Keyes over there. Quesstionss will be ansswered, giftss given, all within reasson of coursse.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

You're right, 2E. It was all part of their sick game just to watch us all die. I hope they got their jollies. Sad to see the ones we ended up losing. But the important thing is we made a great team and we showed them we wouldn't go down easy.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I just want one thing: peanuts. Lots and lots of peanuts. Give me an entire lifetime supply and we'll call it good.

[madface7]

2-E looks terrified at Rebel's immediate execution, and mechanically gulps.

"...I remember when I was a part of one of these games, with a host that did jack shit but perpetuate them. Just like..." 2-E's eyes turn red.

"...You, Sendri."

2-E's eyes turn pink once more. 

"But, I suppose that I can't deal with that just now. I have a question, and a request. Question; where on earth is Claire de Lune? I have looked for them since I took this form, and I tracked their location to here."

"As for my request... I wish to look exactly like my old self once more; however, I would like a form that's a bit... modified, to fit my liking. One: I'd like to be able to switch from a human form to a catgirl form at will. Two: I would like mechanical weapons and implants to be added to my body, but invisible to the naked eye. And three: I want retractable wings."

[MadameButterflyKnife]

Cool Sendri takes a moment to process it. "BRO, YOU'RE JUSST LETTING USS OUT?! FUCK YEAH! FLORAN'SS FUCKIN ESSTATIC, BRO! FLORAN'SS JUSST GOT SOME REQUESSTSS FOR THEIR FUCKING GIFT!"

Noticing the offer, Cool Sendri stares down Not Cool Sendri. "YOU KKOW WHAT I WANT, FLORANSS OTHER COOL FRIENDSS TO ALL BE PARDONED. A SSHIPSS FULL OF BOOZE. YOURSS AND THE ALLIANCESS HEAD ON A SSTAKE. THINGSS FLORAN'SS BEEN PLANNING TO GET ANYWAY.

[PointMaid]

Can you get me a record deal? My no-good manager promised me a record deal for this gig. (What was she thinking? Did she want to lose a client?)

Oh, and what's the deal with your radio stations that broadcast silence, or are phreaking numbers stations, or are shuttered and don't work, or broadcast footsteps? Y'know, instead of music or even stupid talk radio.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

Hm...

Monaca thinks and ponders about their gift for a while, eventually deciding that...

Monaca wants to be a Space NEET in space! Could you Alliance folks give me a cool spaceship to fly in? Please? Pretty pretty pretty please?

Monaca says this request in the most cutesy saccharine way, complete with a doe-eyed look.

Oh, and one more thing... What exactly were we arrested for?

[Dookie]

Sam runs over to the now ablazed Bar.

“So we got the final one?...WE GOT THE FINAL ONE!!!!”

[Florien]

Liwari, make a lisst.

Lifetime shipment of peanutss. We have that, probably, uhhh... Get Director Ssteeltower over sso she can play with her cyberneticss, cargo hold of booze, a sstack of blanket pardonss...

Sendri is bemused at Cool Sendri's request for "heads on a stake".

Maybe there'ss hope for you after all. Floran hopess your inevitable turn towardss dictatorship as the option to fight back iss... enough to get you to undersstand why floran built thiss all.

Anyway, "Claire?" One of our agentss for ssure iss aware of ssomeone ssimilar. Uhh... wait, they might have died of hypothermia back at Admin 2, they sstowed away or ssomething. Tressspasssing iss punishable by death and all that. But maybe they esscaped, people are funny like that. But floran'ss like 90% ssure they died of hypothermia back on admin 2 when we left them to freeze and die in the ssnow.

Sendri then pauses on Selen(ium)'s question.

Yeah yeah, record deal, ssure, uh... we'll get an agent on it... wait what? Oh, the numberss sstationss. Floran forgetss why we have one out here. Thinkss it was part of floran'ss earlier war crimess or whatever, and we need a place to dump annoying radio operatorss. Meanwhile... the... wait a minute. You didn't... OH! That'ss actually really funny probably.

Sendri points to the island radio tower.

Yeah, sso, that place hadn't worked in yearss, but Lithium'ss been ssneaking onto the issland at night. She was dropping off weapon cratess. One of you kept hiding them sso people wouldn't get shot. But anyway, she fixed it! Apparently, ssomeone had jusst turned off the control panel. Funny sstory, right? Thought it was broken. Anyway, your fiddling with the knobss on the firsst day musst have turned it back on. Naturally, all that would be broadcasst would be ssilence, becausse no one was in the recording booth. The footsstepss, floran asssumess, were Lithium. As for talk radio and mussic, we're pretty far out from actually inhabited placess, sso it'ss not like we can uhh... really jusstify the cosst of maintaining the thingss. Mosst of what'ss out here iss mining.

Guilty! Ha! Yeah, Ah forgot to make sure it was off, ah went by and dropped off some weapons on top of the radio tower a while ago, no one found 'em. That was probably the footsteps.

Sendri then turns to Monaca.

Uh yeah, ssure, here'ss the keyss to one of our prisson oness, we'll get the flag painted over. No idea what you in particular were arresssted for. Probably ssomething like ssaying bad thingss about uss? Or maybe there were other reassonss. Floran doessn't keep track of all people arresssted. Jusst knowss you got on ssome lisst and it passsed evaluation for corruption in the processss and all that.

Sendri tosses the key off a keyring over to Monaca.