Use Noodle Implements

[SmilyCube112]

Are you setting up a garden-themed carnival? Weirdo.
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Err, yea, I'm gonna need a Michael Bay poster, a spork, some fedoras, ten Nerf guns and a metric HECKton of ammo.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

I'm guessing you're about to set up a blood sacrifice for the great Michael Bay, huh?

I'm stuck in a hole, how will I get out? I only have this allergy medicine, scissors, a tuba and raisins.

[Kennifer]

Well, clearly you need to take the allergy medicine so you can play the tuba properly. When the tuba music inevitably attracts someone to your location you bribe them with the raisins and threaten to stab them with the scissors until they help you.

--

Okay, my sword is glowing and I've got some grenades, a hair-bleaching kit, several pairs of shoelaces, some horror novels and a Kill Bill DVD set, what should I do?

[Magolor]

Use the bleach and horror novels to ruin some pages. Use this wet putty of old tree pulp to disguise the grenade as something not-grenade-like—that's right, a Kill Bill CD holder! I don't even know. Tie the grenade to the CD and the pin to the glowing sword. Swing it just right and it should launch an impactful bulb of white into their dumb face.

---

A gnome, three magazines for a pistol, a motor, and seven copies of your marriage certificate.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Time to shoot my wife, forge the certificates to show I'm married to the gnome, put the engine in my car and drive off far away so I can start a new life.

I happen to have some grape juice, popcorn, roast beef and razor blades. What should I do?

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

Feast time. Blades'll be used for cutting.


We have a microphone, a chunk of amethyst, a hole where a vending machine should go, a pencil, an old boot, a pair of earbuds, a poem, and a slightly used scratching post. What happened?

[noodlesnook]

i've seen a lot of wacky electronic kiosks in my time, but this could be a real breakthrough in the industry! and thanks for the snack, by the way. amethysts are definitely one of the tastiest species of quartz.

you happen to have any spare parts lyin' around? specifically... mm, i dunno... a two-metre string of fairy lights, some paper clips, a ball of orange jello, and a facsimile copy of the beowulf manuscript? i'll need them for... something.

[josh6243]

You're planning on summoning Beowulf into our reality with a summoning circle, huh?

I need a flash drive, two burner accounts, a CRT screen, and a copy of the Los Angeles Times.