Use Noodle Implements

[MadeOfMilk]

I know you're asking, "what's a Noodle Implement?" Well, wonder no longer!

Basically how this works is you list a bunch of random items, and the next poster has to find some sort of use for said random items that would probably make sense in context. Key word here is "probably". I'll start:

Okay, okay, hear me out, this is gonna be great. We just need a shovel, a 1:100 scale model of the Mayflower, a grungy tennis ball, and several liters of Mountain Dew and we're set!

[Kennifer]

Well, maybe your history report on the Pilgrims will get a good grade for creativity, though I'm still not sure the Mountain Dew will make a good ocean.

--

Okay, for this next thing I will need a collection of South Park episodes on DVD, a toaster, a pair of high-waisted jeans, a chainsaw, and a LOT of coffee.

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

Trying to impress the teens before killing them? Midnight's a good time for that. And, you'll never be dirty nor hungry with your supplies!



We have a laptop, a top, twelve eggs, a broken chainsaw, a golden egg, and the bottom half of a wine glass.

[MadeOfMilk]

I think the "how to stage a crime scene" WikiHow is lying to you.

Hi, I'd like to order a Butterball turkey, 20 lbs of concrete, some Ethernet cables, a trucker cap, some coconut-scented shampoo, and a broken umbrella.

[wmradar]

Roger. *turns to staff* Okay folks, we got another someone trying to make an internet hub for trucks. Make sure the instructions are included.

There's no time to explain! I need 50 AA batteries, some monkey organs, the ex-pope, and a copy of Fun House.

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

So you're doing a blood sacrifice for the ex-pope who happens to be the Anti-Christ and you want to keep him entertained, too? How devoted you are.

Give me a box of raisins, two pitchforks, a bucket of KFC fried chicken and scuba-diving gear.

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

Interesting choice for a fast-food place.


We have a toothbrush, a table, yak fur, a tape roll, Of Art (textbook), a green hairbrush, seawater, white papers with scribbles on them, a beach ball, a Successful Artists book, an old trombone mouthpiece, advertising journals, football league stamps, and brushes of makeup. What does this mean?

[Cassie]

It means were doing a multi-material artpiece of incomprehensible extravaganza.

You see a note made by this poster.

OKAY. I SEE THAT YOU'VE FIXED THE APARTMENT. BUT ISN'T 33 BELLOWS A BIT OBSELETE? WHY ARE THERE TWENTY-TWO BLUE BRICKS? I'M ASKING BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY PROSTHETIC VOICEBOX!

[josh6243]

It means that Yammark is getting beaten up into oblivion by sound waves somehow.

I have a sous-vide machine, some wonderful steaks, and a mob right behind me. What should I do in this situation?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Pray they're not vegetarian and feed the mob with the steaks in hope to satisfy them. And if they are vegetarian, then you're just screwed, pal!

I've got an escape plan, but it will involve Red Bull, duct tape, a manhole and a toothpick.

[Cassie]

Nope. False-flooding the sewers will get you nowhere, bogosort.

I need 25 kidneys, 10 thin sticks of wood, and an air fryer.

[Despair's Archon of Memes]

I'm pretty sure there's a better way of sparking the kindling for your barbecue than using an air-fryer...

Okay... There's a plan I have, but it revolves around a bunch of pennies, a bunch of trading cards, a pizza, a crowbar, and a hunk of uranium.

[josh6243]

Starting the Resonance Cascade to reenact Half-Life is not the gimmick you need to sell these antique pennies and trading cards.

I've got some old VHS tapes, some potato chips, a CRT TV and a Gamecube. What can I do with that?

[Dookie]

This nostalgic movie-video game marathon is gonna be killer!

Ok, I have the SweetTarts, he has the deck of cards, and you have the flamethrower and the doorknob. All we need now is the lotion and the Xerox copier.

[Cassie]

OKAY! I'll fuckin' complete the fireproof paper ritual for you! Sheesh!

Okay, why is there a book and a pencil-shaped hole, and what's with all these pencil sharpeners?

[Mr. Lee Hammer]

Looks like we got a book killer and pencils are the only way to kill them.
There's a bomb here and I need to disarm it. But I only have a wanted poster, a can of tomato sauce, a stick of gun and a toothbrush/

[josh6243]

Use the wanted poster to find a criminal who can defuse a bomb with any random noodle implements.

I have a Pac-Man arcade cabinet, a giant bearded face with limbs, and a corrupt referee. What can I do with these things?

[JKBenbot]

Host a staged Pac-Man Tourney in which you cheat to win.

I have one note to not forget to check that all pages exist. A Post I never should have made, and a falling road from Polybridge 2

[Cassie]

No, I don't want reality to break, so just drop whatever "Memory Checker" device you made into the river alongside the road.

I insert twenty bottles of random medicine into a vending machine that's plugged to 35 stacks of thicc facial tissue.

[josh6243]

You somehow recreate SCP-261.

I have some commissioned fanart, a computer and a pencil. What can I do with that?

[Kennifer]

That is NOT how you trace art, but at least you shouldn't get into trouble for attempted plagiarism that way.

Okay, I got the cute baby animals, playing cards, scented candles, and a pair of tongs. I do hope you've remembered it's your turn to bring the booze...

[Cassie]

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. Fuck you. I ain't gonna participate in your sickening "large animal" summoning ritual. *breaks the bottle*

I got tarot cards, uno cards, A french suite of playing cards, and a lighter. What's the next step?

[josh6243]

Your attempt at emulating a Kaiji death trap game is cute. How did you rope in Tonegawa?

I have a party with Junichiro Koizumi, Shigeru Akagi, some mahjong tiles, and some sake. What can I do with them?

[a-boy-playing-with-rubiks]

Host in Tokyo. Go all out with your Japanese theming.


I have a disposable mask string, a cow, a broken jar of salsa, a matchbox car, a penny in an empty bottle of vinegar, some deodorant, a 1920s car's wheel, a shovel, a crown of thorns, a CD of Obama singing the national anthem, and a barrel of wine in this bag. What happened?

[Kennifer]

You seem to have mixed up your recycling, your garbage, and the things you wanted to try to sell at my shop. That's a shame really, the salsa from the broken jar is really going to hurt the resale value on that car wheel. :(

--
Quick, I need a set of dominoes, a ceiling fan, a miniature Ferris wheel, some of those garden torches, and three coconuts.