Hunger Games Simulator - Trouble Cube Edition

[Whistle]

AND SO CONTINUE THE GAMES.



Welcome back to coverage of THE BATTLE ROYALE on Slaughterday Night with Whistle. Last time, we found ourselves with a few shocking twists of fate, but I do seem to believe that this next one ought to be a little bit more of a shocker now that things have been hitting the ground running. Sounds awesome, but also worrying. Just like everything in life, isn't it?



Right now though, it looks like the sun is about to set, so... we might as well get it all going.



BATTLE MUSIC: "End Titles from Blade Runner" - Vangelis

NIGHT ONE
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Because the Night

Despite Metabomb's attempts at acculturation, Ivi Roma still keeps up the constructive snark.

We are bringing back... CLONES.

More fortune for Fortune, I guess. Gayle's got an odd sense of humor though.

Okay, that's a little much, don't you think?

Yowch... that's gotta hurt.

I feel like Great Grandma has already done this before...

Hands will be held.

Oh no! Herb Cookie's sponsor is actually... LICORICE COOKIE.

I see Steve is taking the No, You! approach to cursed tributes.

Chili Pepper Cookie seems to be incredibly resilient, huh? Not too crumbly.

Dancing pony, gumball bird, and planet. That's gotta be the oddest dance/torture session ever.

Quite scandalous indeed!

Ocarina keeping up its spirit by doing a quick game of five-finger fillet against Joel.

That would be a mood if I ever kept a journal. But, like, to be fair... journaling might be fun?

Oh yeah, that reminds me, DRINK COCA-COLA. IT CAN MAKE YOU SHAPESHIFT.

Here comes the sun, I guess. I've been staying up way too late lately...

DAY TWO
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This is the Dawning

I guess Cupid Kirby kinda got too big of an appetite, so it makes sense.

I dunno about you, but on my end, it's Just Another Manic Monday. Oh, woah.

And Goldie gets the gold medal for... Most Impressive Crush Stunt!

DRIFTY THOUGHTS! Metabomb takes out Adrien's car for a spin and ties him to it, unknowingly killing him.

That's kind of a waste of your few threatening body parts, bob.

Max and Chicory are glued together like DogBuns. Pretty funny, not gonna lie.

Tom did watch Mac and Me after all, so he probably knows the language.

Daybreaker, polyglot coffin trapper.

SolluxCars. Like the sound of that.

Yikes. Herb probably does not have the best sorts of thoughts in mind.

Aunt Gayle [Belcher?]. Skier, cat lady, criminal extraordinaire!

Makes sense, being the avatar of death and all.

Dreaming of being on the Satellite of Love with his living robot friends (including his universe's Tom).

SWEET TOOTH! Mr. Van Dreissen will always search for the chocolate, no matter what, even against Italian Spider-Man.

Agent Ivi anyone?
...
Alright, keep this off the record, but at this point I'm half-convinced that Knife puts a blessing on all her tributes. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

Ring, ring, off go the cannons.

THE FALLEN
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title

Today we lost Adrien Agreste and Italian Spider-Man. Despite having three tributes, wingedcatgirl's only got one to bank all of its money on, and ThatIdiotMan lost one of his to a betrayal. No nominators are eliminated yet, but only 31 remain.

Well well, this was one fine update of the Hunger Games, but--

[PHONE RING]

Okay, who is this?

"answers"

Hello? Hello hello? Uh, this is me Whis. 

Who's you?
...Are you one of the hosts?
It's almost been 24 hours since your last update. You think you might wanna give people another update just to get people satiated?


Yes, of course, mysterious phone guy?

No big deal. Just our stockholders wanted a little sort of extra zest. You understand, don't you?
No, no, of course I do.

Alright, goodbye.

[hang up]

Alright... I've got this covered, I think. Just one more update for now. You'll be fine.

---

AND SO CONTINUE THE GAMES.

WELCOME BACK to Slaughterday Night with Whistle, back again with the next part of the game! Who will win, who will lose, who of them will sing the blues? Let's find out... TONIGHT.

NIGHT TWO
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A wonderful noise!

So wait, how did Chicory get to jail? Or did she bail Gayle out of jail through the mail pail?

Why would you ever want to listen to anything else?~

NARCISSISM! Ocarina, once the bastion of health and death, dies from finding itself too cute.

Megumi has the right idea to not get hit with Bloody Tom's curse.

Self-explanatory!

Prankster gets pranked! This is Jackass.

Wait, hold on a second. Are you telling me that Neptune's death was... fraudulent?

Goosy gang?

SLIDE FATES! Tulip gets stuck, but the frail Great Grandma fails to get her out in time, so they starve.

Sollux has not had the best of luck with other tributes lately...

Wow! What an interesting game of Bottles! Hope nothing bad happens there.

Hello Mayor, how do you do?

Has Joel swapped bodies with Mike yet or something?

Interesting choice of words, Beta Wooper... considering what happened to old ISM over there...

Ding, dong, the sun's about to rise. Now it's time for the day to break, and here we are in the golden days.

DAY THREE
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Three is a Magic Number.

I'm running out of Fortune puns to make, sorry.

Huh. Seems like they've found... a bunch of magic paintbrushes and the like.

After hearing about Max's sock drawer, Boris must have caused Gayle to change her mind.

...Ah. That actually explains a lot about how it didn't mutate.

Huang's actually got the right idea there, doesn't he?

Daybreaker: The Coffin! The kids love this one.

THTOP!
...
Thollukth Time.

BLOODY TOM has now become WHITEY TOM.

They must has seen something coollet's fix this event for next season

, but I don't know of any yet aside from the thing posted there.

After getting kicked out of his old friend group, it looks like Cupid Kirby found an unlikely bond with Megumi. Sounds kinda nice.

Anything to try to get off those REVOLUTIONARY HEADPHONES!, am I right?

bob, with infinite bravery, threatens to shoot a planet. But this isn't the old Mars we used to know...

He needs some time to think about it before Blue comes back.

[tsk tsk tsk] You've just fallen for one of the greatest blunders!

I like this Beta Wooper! It's got great taste.

Bang, bang, bang. Off they go.

THE FALLEN
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down and lonely

This one saw the loss of three major tributes; Ocarina, Tulip, and Great Grandma. With that, Zanreo has lost their two tributes and must somehow report to the hosts, and Guma must now depend on Beta Wooper to somehow win. Only 29 tributes remain now; who will win? 

Now, this has been fun hosting and the like, but I understand I can't do it on my own. Other networks have their own stakes in the Battle Royale, and I find it ought to be fair to give them their chance to handle the updates. Given what's going to happen next, however... I hope they make it more exciting than not. I may come back for another update, but that may be up in the air. I hope you all are having a good day, and I'll see you all on the flip-side.

next time... HATCHETS AND HEDGES.