01-26-2022, 21:42:12 PM
Steve's Scheme begins! First, he does mission impossible things. He quickly gets into the archives, but it turns out mission-impossible-ing probably requires gear that doesn't hook on everything and possibly more than one person. It's noisy and some archive employees stare. The archives are ostensibly in alphabetical order, but there's a clear problem in that it's completely unclear what letter it's filed under. Under I for internet? L for Lists? B for Blocked or W for Websites? Eventually Steve tries punching the archive building, and people stare at that. One asks if he needs help though, and he manages to find the lists. He then makes the tank crash into the building and the shelves at top speed, while trying to maintain plausible deniability about it by running around. The documents are all mixed together, which should delay anything being released, but unfortunately, most are largely intact, so it's only a temporary delay. He stops the tank and goes to seem not actively treasonous. Valdragon stares at the mess.
What EXACTLY do you think you're doing?
Well, blaming it on a malfunction and complaining about the military budget quietly gets a little more irritation from him. Specifically in the form of "Then you didn't inspect it right" and "The military budget is out of my control, and I think it's sufficient, unless you're questioning the Director's and the Generals' wisdom." But Steve gets out without getting shot, so everything's presumably fine.
Next, the Plan of The Pinky and Brain. They use their small size to their advantage, sneaking around inside walls, in ducts, behind employees, all without being noticed. Pinky randomly picks a file, and it turns out to be a very interesting file that surely should have been shredded years ago (or moved somewhere more secure) detailing a list of Alliance intelligence assets across the galaxy. This is quickly ignored to cleverly find the list by looking for things that are continuously updated or moved. That narrows it down enough that it's quickly found. Simultaneous Rodent Damage and Mysterious Spontaneous Tobacco Fire resolves the situation with the documents. Valdragon accepts the blaming of other people for the problems, but on hearing about the edict situation, comments "Well, you're moving slowly. Move faster. Surely it can't be that hard to see what edicts are better than others." No getting shot today.
Next in line, Millionaire Filler Bark Kebruary, who goes to do a SURPRISE INSPECTION! Luckily, this workplace doesn't have an employee manual saying that there's NO SURPRISE INSPECTIONS EVER, THE PERSON SAYING THAT IS A SPY, so this works out. He manages to convince some bored archive employees to show him where important documents are kept to inspect with the telling them that they have different requirements. There are a few code violations, most importantly that the socket doesn't have a proper plate. Mark then tries to subtly plug in the forbidden extension cord, which quickly melts and starts a fire, but there's still some employees around to see that. He manages to brush off the thing as "that's so bad my specialized multimeter thing blew up", but some are still suspicious as the fire and foam damages the important documents beyond repair. Telling the workers about the incoming Political officer two officers above them horrifies them so much that they quickly go along with what he says, cleaning up everything and concealing the wreckage, and dodges Colonel Valdragon at the archive to wait for the proper inspection instead at the offices, which should be more routine and easier to not get shot at.
What EXACTLY do you think you're doing?
Well, blaming it on a malfunction and complaining about the military budget quietly gets a little more irritation from him. Specifically in the form of "Then you didn't inspect it right" and "The military budget is out of my control, and I think it's sufficient, unless you're questioning the Director's and the Generals' wisdom." But Steve gets out without getting shot, so everything's presumably fine.
Next, the Plan of The Pinky and Brain. They use their small size to their advantage, sneaking around inside walls, in ducts, behind employees, all without being noticed. Pinky randomly picks a file, and it turns out to be a very interesting file that surely should have been shredded years ago (or moved somewhere more secure) detailing a list of Alliance intelligence assets across the galaxy. This is quickly ignored to cleverly find the list by looking for things that are continuously updated or moved. That narrows it down enough that it's quickly found. Simultaneous Rodent Damage and Mysterious Spontaneous Tobacco Fire resolves the situation with the documents. Valdragon accepts the blaming of other people for the problems, but on hearing about the edict situation, comments "Well, you're moving slowly. Move faster. Surely it can't be that hard to see what edicts are better than others." No getting shot today.
Next in line, Millionaire Filler Bark Kebruary, who goes to do a SURPRISE INSPECTION! Luckily, this workplace doesn't have an employee manual saying that there's NO SURPRISE INSPECTIONS EVER, THE PERSON SAYING THAT IS A SPY, so this works out. He manages to convince some bored archive employees to show him where important documents are kept to inspect with the telling them that they have different requirements. There are a few code violations, most importantly that the socket doesn't have a proper plate. Mark then tries to subtly plug in the forbidden extension cord, which quickly melts and starts a fire, but there's still some employees around to see that. He manages to brush off the thing as "that's so bad my specialized multimeter thing blew up", but some are still suspicious as the fire and foam damages the important documents beyond repair. Telling the workers about the incoming Political officer two officers above them horrifies them so much that they quickly go along with what he says, cleaning up everything and concealing the wreckage, and dodges Colonel Valdragon at the archive to wait for the proper inspection instead at the offices, which should be more routine and easier to not get shot at.
I am the They who says it!