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The Magical Vending Machine
The Pizza is spat back onto your mouth. The machine hates such a thing.

I insert a block of palm oil.
Very interesting...first person to consume solid objects through liquid methods.


quote list
W H O T U R N E D O N T H E L I G H T S

E N D L E S S  F U N

ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
You get a long screed on how palm oil is damaging the environment from the vending machine.

I insert a belated edit to the machine to avoid breaking the rules.
Reply
You get a copy of the "Da Rules" book from The Fairly Oddparents.

I insert a copy of Among Us and a note about it being Opposite Day.
Stupid doomed timeline...
Reply
You get 2 armed Crewmates and 8 Impostors. The latter immediately run away from the former.

I insert a cartoony, oversized key.
What else needs saying?
TRIPLE STAR
That's what you are.
Amazing!
Reply
You unlock the machine, only to be immediately vaporized by the eldritch energies within.

I insert an intercostal clavicle.
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
Reply
You get a script written by Katharine Hepburn.

I insert all Donkey Kong Country Super Nintendo cartridges into the machine.
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You get an entire jungle world with Donkey and Diddy Kong.

I insert a Ghostbusters Photon Pack.
I like bananas. They're yellow.
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You get the Nes Ghostbusters game, eww.


I insert my self esteem.
Fight to the last man!
Reply
The machine ejects out an empty box.

I insert Gavial and a inflatable balloon of a crudely drawn Vector the Crocodile.
>no ulterior character motive<
Reply
You get a badly drawn gijinka crocodile drawn on a sheet of rubber.

I insert cough syrup into the machine.
Very interesting...first person to consume solid objects through liquid methods.


quote list
W H O T U R N E D O N T H E L I G H T S

E N D L E S S  F U N

ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
You get a Flaming Homer cocktail from the machine.

I insert a picture of Al Sneed and Charles Tamzarian enjoying a beer in front of Sneed's Feed and Seed.
Reply
You get a Charles Entertainment Cheese token from the '90s.



I insert a stop sign
American Association for the Abolition of Abused Abbreviations and Asinine Acronyms & a 44mm-length battery is.
Reply
You get a go sign.

I insert my livelihood.
rip neptune
Reply
You get someone else's manhood.

I insert two hard-boiled eggs. [HONK!] Make that three hard boiled eggs.
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
Reply
You get a nice tuna salad with those hard-boiled eggs sliced and julienned.

I insert a pizza MacGuffin.
Reply
You get an Midas Pizza! Everything this pizza touches will turn to pizza-oh. Oh no....


I insert a packet of hot chocolate.
but if i'm never your hero
i can never let you down

Reply
You get a packet containing powdered, freeze-dried chocolate. Don't eat it, or else...

I insert a youtube URL into the machine.
Very interesting...first person to consume solid objects through liquid methods.


quote list
W H O T U R N E D O N T H E L I G H T S

E N D L E S S  F U N

ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
You get a vinyl record of Rick Astley's Greatest Hits. Every song on the record is Never Gonna Give You Up.

I insert a pack of chewing gum.
IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your Life]] THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE [[Silly Strings]]
Reply
You get a pack of ABC gum.

I insert a bottle of Siracha chili sauce.
Reply
You get a dry ice cube.



I insert a broken laptop charger.
American Association for the Abolition of Abused Abbreviations and Asinine Acronyms & a 44mm-length battery is.
Reply
The Magical Vending Machine gets charged up. somehow, the broken charger is good at charging these sorts of things

i insert a glove
I have decided to be a Disaster™
Reply
The machine slaps you in the face and asks you to duel it with pistols.

I insert fanart from Pixiv.
Reply
The machine proxies/prints out for you some related Safebooru and Deviantart fanart. Fortunately, all of them seem to be safe for work...

I throw in an entire cookie.
I don't understand any of this... I'm in a world of complete insanity...
Reply
You get a huge sandwich cookie filled with cookie-flavored cream. Upon closer inspection, the sprinkles are cookie-shaped as well and even taste like cookies. The bag that said sandwich cookie came in was even shaped like a cookie as well. Now, that's dedication to the cookie theme!

I insert a null edit.
Reply


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