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GET THAT PIZZA!: REBAKED
Unfortunately, the boombox currently playing "You're the Best" comes flying into frame and hits Superjohn in the head. Cartoonish injuries occur.
The camera then pans over to reveal that Wm, now dressed in ridiculously tacky 90's radical wear, was indeed the one who threw it. "I fucking hate that song," he says.
Wm goes over to grab the pizza box from the now-unconscious Superjohn. He's about to walk away with it when...
Ceci n'est pas une Walrus.
Reply
Matthew shows up, dressed up in an 80s power suit, with his gang of go-go-dancers, which he instructs to go after Wm. They all surround him and kick the shit out of him until he's a beaten and mangled corpse. The dancers surround Matthew as he holds the pizza triumphantly and just as he begins to share it with his girls...
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply
One of the go-go dancers reveals herself as Commander Yammark, who guns down Matthew and the other go-go dancers with her buster and Yammar Options. As she flees, she trips over something, causing the pizza to fly towards the next person by accident.
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Superjohn, who woke up from getting hit with a boom box by WM. He takes the pizza and flees into a bus, but is attacked by...
May chaos breaks the rules that bind!
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Libre bashing Superjohn's head off with a bicycle. But then he gets thwacked in the groin by...
E N D L E S S  F U N


quote list
ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
...a football that was thrown by Matthew. As Libre sits there doubled down in pain, Matthew rushes towards him and kicks him high into the air where he lands on a goalpost and gets impaled. Matthew then grabs the pizza and rushes towards the endzone hoping to score a touchdown for the Pizzateers when he gets tackled out of nowhere by....
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply
Wm, now dressed as a football player! He grabs the pizza out of Matthew's hand and runs all the way to the end zone (that wasn't there a second ago, but shush), and scores a touchdown (for a team he's not on, but shush)! In celebration he does a backflip, landing on his head.

Naturally, Wm is too busy dealing with CTE to actually eat the pizza, so it is picked up by...
Ceci n'est pas une Walrus.
Reply
Libre stuffing it into a metal box, but...
E N D L E S S  F U N


quote list
ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
Superjohn hits Libre with Sweet Chin Music! He then takes the pizza and escapes by motorcycle.
May chaos breaks the rules that bind!
Reply
Not watching where he's going, Superjohn unknowingly drives up a ramp, sending him flying up in the air, but unfortunately for him, he lands into a pool of acid, which dissolves him into bones. Matthew gets the pizza that comes afloat from the pool. But unfortunately for him, someone dumps the pool all over him, leaving him a skeleton with Superjohn's own skeleton laying on top of him. The mysterious person who dunked the acid and grabbed the pizza is...
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply
The great cyclops Polyphemus. After asking his father Poseidon to pay for his eye-doctor, Polyphemus is back on track. He will savor the human confection known as a pizza, but some jerk decided to trick him. And that person is...
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...Ulysses!

...Simpson Grant.

Yes, folks, Wm has stolen a costume from the local American Civil War re-enactment troupe and decided to invade Polyphemus' cave with a platoon of Civil War soldiers. His reasoning? "History is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake." (which adds a *third* Ulysses to this mess!)

One bloody battle later, most of Wm's troops and Polyphemus are dead. (I'm sure Poseidon will be fine with this). Wm, himself badly wounded, pulls out a flask of whiskey and sits next to the pizza.
Ceci n'est pas une Walrus.
Reply
Superjohn, dragging the corpse of Poseidon, enters the cave. He burns WM alive with a built in flamethrower for making all that hard work of killing Poseidon worthless. John grabs the pizza and goes to his mobile sea fortress.
May chaos breaks the rules that bind!
Reply
But when John reaches his mobile sea fortress, he finds it overrun with a mob of cats! They're eating everything oh my gods

He sets down the pizza to get to work reining in the chaos... leaving the pizza vulnerable to Sylvi, who was sneakily hidden in the corner the whole time! She gaffles it and absconds!
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Matthew appears, wielding the Infinity Gauntlet with all six Infinity Stones. He snaps his finger, making half of everyone in the world disappear, including Sylvi. While all sick and dying from radiation poisoning as a side effect of using the Infinity Gauntlet, he can't live much longer, as it was too powerful for a mortal man like him. But he grabs the pizza and grasps it firmly in his arms saying, "Worth it", before dying, leaving it open for the next person to grab.
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply
As Commander Yammark was non-organic, she is relatively immune to the effects of the Infinity Stones. After snatching the pizza, she is shattered into pieces by a mighty soundwave. Who could have created something so powerful.
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Superjohn using his built in sooundwave gun. Superjohn steals the pizza and takes the pizza to his post apocalyptic fortresses, having become a warlord after Matthews snap.
May chaos breaks the rules that bind!
Reply
Libre knocks Superjohn in the head, then skedaddles off to a bunker with the Pizza.
E N D L E S S  F U N


quote list
ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
As Libre enters the bunker, he activates a trip wire bomb that blows him out of the bunker and makes the pizza hit Matthew in the face. It hurts, but he takes it anyway, regardless.
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply
The Florie/ans arrive, bringing famous actor Kevin Costner with them! They throw Kevin Costner at Matthew, killing both famous actor Kevin Costner and Matthew, and collect the Pizza. From there, they go to Taco Bell, where they get directions to the nearest Pizza hut, where they prepare to sell the Pizza to the highest bidder at an auction to the DEATH!
Shill for Weetabix
Political Scientist
But Still Cool.
(Probably.)
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The highest bidder-OH SHIT! THEY GOT SHOT IN THE GROIN BY LIBRE AND DIED!

Libre nabs the Pizza with the bid and decks the bid itself upon the Florie/ans, then takes a car and drives off.
E N D L E S S  F U N


quote list
ENTITY SUCCUMBED; INVALID

She's got three murders under her belt, views are gonna be skewed

Reply
Dream (not that one) is once again pulling the "Not My Driver" trick! ... Wait shit Libre intended to drive this car himself, it's a scuffle for the driver's seat! Punch! Kick! Bite! After a grueling battle, Dream emerges victorious! But wait! The pizza's already gone!

Robin is already fleeing with the pizza!

"Wait hang on how the hell's that work, aren't we in the same body?"

"Time travel, bitches!"
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Superjohn appears behind them on a war elephant, which crushes their car, Superjohn grabs the pizza and rides back to his post apocalyptic fortresses.
May chaos breaks the rules that bind!
Reply
Someone reroutes Superjohn towards SCP-2513. On the other side, a huge mob of people walk over the bridge, giving them a seething hatred of anything Carthage. They spot Superjohn and the War Elephant and maul them to death. The Carthage haters abscond with the pizza.
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Matthew rappels down via a helicopter, armed with a flamethrower and jumps down and ignites the haters to death. He comes by to take the pizza from all the burned corpses and he makes a firewall, hoping no one can penetrate it and come after him. But someone does make it through. He puts up a fight, but in the end, he loses to...
I like bananas. They're yellow.
Reply


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